DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

[Rosettespur]

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

So he doesn't want to leave? Quelle surprise! Definitely hide and lock away all your valuables and important documents, and move his things into the room used by his poor DD. Put his stuff in bin bags thus making it easier for him to leave!

And as said before, change the wifi password, netflix etc passwords, and lock up the nice food, wine etc leaving only staples in the cupboard. A lock on your bedroom door might be a good idea, you can get ones in a door handle set so you only need to change the exisiting door handle, no need for drilling etc.

Good luck! You shouldn't have to be moving out of your home of nearly seven years just because you made a mistake and let him in and put him on the tenancy list. Hope your landlord knows all the legal steps they can help you with, but maybe get professional advice, you can get a free 30 min consultation from most solicitors.

Does his daughter have her own room? If she does you tell him once again it’s definitely over put all his stuff in that room he can sleep there. Also stop cooking cleaning and washing for him and tell him he owes half the rent and half the bills. If he doesn’t give you that immediately he needs to leave by Friday.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

you feeling okay?

Well done you! I’m pleased that she she hear you advocating for her 💪🏻

He sounds like a massive tw@t and should be apologising to both of you.

“…he struggles with apologies.”

🚩🚩🚩🚩

He needs to work on this. This isn’t great.

Do you have any burly male friends or relatives?

Would your ex help give him the boot based on the fact it’s effecting your daughter?

Read through all of your updates.

You’ve split up with him, he doesn’t pay towards the household, he needs to leave. He can go to wherever he lives before or go and bum off someone else 🤷‍♀️

Essentially it’s not your problem nor is it your responsibility to house someone who doesn’t pay their way.

Best of luck OP. Please update us.

I took that as the poster being sarcastic which isn't helpful either.

I would be angry with your DP.

YADNBU

Just read your updates. I hope everything is sorted soon.

What a loser.

You're doing the right thing op

It takes 2 to want a relationship. You don't, you're done, so the relationship is over. Make that clear every time he tells you he wants to make it work. THere is nothing to make work any more.

This! Get your friends round, and DD's, for support and safety, don't be alone with him if you can avoid it. Change the wifi password (assuming you, not he, pays the bill) and otherwise grey rock him.

Definitely change the wifi password

Tell him how much he owes

No cooking, no washing and he's in his DD's room, and no access to the TV.

Sorry - but you'll need to play hardball. Agree with getting lots of friends around.

And tell everyone it's over between you, including the mother of his DD

I’d be concerned about having my daughter under the same roof as him to be honest. Desperate people do desperate things and he obviously has feelings of resentment and disdain towards her. I’m not implying anything particularly sinister, but even screaming and shouting or saying it’s her fault is going to be traumatic if she is around.

He's the one who made the comments, keeps bringing it up, sulking....but you ruined the evening, got it 🙄

At least he’s now made it clear it’s the place to stay that is most important to him just in case you were wondering if you’d possibly been a little hasty

Just read through all your posts OP. Good luck getting rid of him - of course he's not going to want to leave and have to start paying his own rent and bills etc again. Awkward situation given he's on the tenancy, you don't want him bedding in like a cockroach, so if he won't just go (and I bet he won't) then you might need to starve him out! I've no idea of the legal aspect of getting someone off a tenancy agreement but speaking to CAB and/or a solicitor seems like a good place to start. Sending you strength and positivity!

It really isn't her problem - but getting him out of the house when he's on the tenancy does make it more complicated!

What 😂

I’d do this. Try to get adult support, preferably male. Remind him that he can’t pay the rent on his own, whereas you did and can do - do there’s no way it will be him remaining. Emphasise that point to the landlord. The landlord obviously knows you were paying before he moved in so it should make sense to him/her.

Move his stuff into the room his daughter uses. Make it clear that he is not sharing your room anymore. It is up to him what he does when she next comes while he’s finding somewhere else, but he’s not sharing your room anymore.

Do no laundry or cooking for him and change the streaming passwords. Basically make his life uncomfortable.

Yuck. Get rid. Nobody would talk to my daughter like that. Then say we're emotional women. Nope. He'd be gone.

Ah, poor DD. How horrible that she has to 'rub along' with someone in her own home.

Move him out. You don't have to break up the relationship (although he sounds like someone I'd break an ankle to break up with) - but put your DD first and get him out before Christmas. If you know she'd be happier, do it.

Never ever ever put a man on your tenancy! The house is a safe place for you and DD and now you’re kinda stuck with him! Please learn from this. . Ps get rid he sounds like a dick!

Send him to the pub. Pack his stuff. Taxi it to the pub. Get locks changed. Explain to landlord ex is being threatening. He is, with words. If you're friendly with your ex can you get him around to help get rid? Or a burly brother etc.

....he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house.
Fine! he knows where the door is!
What a complete t**t