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Original poster

DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

659 replies

Rosettespur · 08/12/2024 17:03

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 09/12/2024 14:10

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 09/12/2024 14:07

Staying put for free room and board more like.

Calculate 50% of all bills, backdated to the day the cocklodger moved in and tell him to cough the fuck up

I'm betting his desire to stay will miraculously vanish.

This. You need to make life as awkward as possible for him, OP. In his case, "awkward" means making the bugger pay his way.

WearyAuldWumman · 09/12/2024 14:12

Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 14:08

I called but no one there until Thursday to discuss so put it in an email. I told him this too and he just brushed it off as ridiculous

Show quote history

Since he's seen fit to brush it off, maybe just go ahead with trying to change the tenancy and not tell him until you've been given the official notice to quit?

ClarityClankrantt · 09/12/2024 14:12

Why are you not getting along at the moment? Maybe time to get rid?

JHound · 09/12/2024 14:13

MiddleParking · 08/12/2024 17:04

Could be worse, could be no man at all.

This is a joke right?

JHound · 09/12/2024 14:14

Also each to their own but misogyny, even the slightest hint of it is such a dealbreaker for me. His comment about “emotional women” would make me see him in a different light permanently.

JHound · 09/12/2024 14:14

HPandthelastwish · 08/12/2024 17:09

You know everyone is going g to tell you to LTB and ask what the housing situation is like.

What is LTB?

SeamsLegit · 09/12/2024 14:15

Call people in his earshot and explain you have ended the relationship and that he is refusing to leave?

WearyAuldWumman · 09/12/2024 14:15

JHound · 09/12/2024 14:14

What is LTB?

Show quote history

Leave the...

SalsaLights · 09/12/2024 14:19

Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 14:02

Well…he came home from work, begging that things will change and he refuses to give up on the relationship. Stating he doesn’t care if I have given up he is staying put to ‘show me’ how things can be different!

I am now ignoring him. But I honestly have no idea how I am getting out of this tbh

Edited

He's doing this because he doesn't want to have to go back to his family - so it's easier to try and sweet talk you. He wants to keep his comfy life where you pay the majority of the bills, do most of the housework (I'm guessing - am I right?), and he gets sex on tap as well.

Call his bluff.

Tell him that the relationship is over so it doesn't matter what he wants, because he can't force you to be in a relationship with him. And that if he refuses to move out, you'll serve notice on the house which will force him to leave anyway. So if he really does care about you as he claims, then he won't be such a prick as to force you and your DD to leave the house just because he's too selfish to move out of a house where he pays none of the rent and bills anyway.

HPandthelastwish · 09/12/2024 14:20

You just stay firm, tell him "No, I've had enough I do not want to be in a relationship with you any longer" and repeat.

For now until you have sorted this with the landlord if he is refusing to leave you move all of his personal things into his DDs room and he'll have to sleep there. Cook and clean for just you and DD, change passwords on any subscriptions you pay for.

Pick DD up and tell her what is happening, she's old enough to understand make clear it isn't her fault but you've had enough and he will be leaving - and in true teenage form may be able to get him out with her own frostyness.

SalsaLights · 09/12/2024 14:21

Oh and that every day he spends in the house, you won't be doing his laundry, or any cooking for him, and you'll be putting a password on the TV (do so now!) and changing the wifi password.

Wigglywoowho · 09/12/2024 14:30

SalsaLights · 09/12/2024 14:19

He's doing this because he doesn't want to have to go back to his family - so it's easier to try and sweet talk you. He wants to keep his comfy life where you pay the majority of the bills, do most of the housework (I'm guessing - am I right?), and he gets sex on tap as well.

Call his bluff.

Tell him that the relationship is over so it doesn't matter what he wants, because he can't force you to be in a relationship with him. And that if he refuses to move out, you'll serve notice on the house which will force him to leave anyway. So if he really does care about you as he claims, then he won't be such a prick as to force you and your DD to leave the house just because he's too selfish to move out of a house where he pays none of the rent and bills anyway.

Show quote history

This. Unfortunately, I think he might push it to the point that you need to terminate your tenancy. I'd be very clear that he either gets out and surrenders his tenancy or you will give notice to quit.

Of course he isn't going to go easily. He's a cocklodger. He wants everything he can squeeze out if you.

Ivyn · 09/12/2024 14:32

He just doesn't want to move out.

Don't back down on this OP.

Ivyn · 09/12/2024 14:33

HPandthelastwish · 09/12/2024 14:20

You just stay firm, tell him "No, I've had enough I do not want to be in a relationship with you any longer" and repeat.

For now until you have sorted this with the landlord if he is refusing to leave you move all of his personal things into his DDs room and he'll have to sleep there. Cook and clean for just you and DD, change passwords on any subscriptions you pay for.

Pick DD up and tell her what is happening, she's old enough to understand make clear it isn't her fault but you've had enough and he will be leaving - and in true teenage form may be able to get him out with her own frostyness.

I agree with all of this.

HPandthelastwish · 09/12/2024 14:34

I'd also be tempted to fill the house with "emotional women" and tell DD she can invite al of her friends for a sleepover and can take over the living room at the weekend.

Starlight1979 · 09/12/2024 14:34

Rosettespur · 08/12/2024 17:53

It’s not all bad. Since being with me he has did some training and now has a better paying job. He is helpful around the house etc

But he is so negative. And tbh draining.

He's got a better paying job but doesn't pay you rent or anything towards bills....? And you're happy with this, why?

Discombobble · 09/12/2024 14:36

Pretend he’s not there - don’t shop or cook for him, don’t do his washing, invoice him for half the rent and bills

Maurepas · 09/12/2024 14:36

HPandthelastwish · 09/12/2024 14:34

I'd also be tempted to fill the house with "emotional women" and tell DD she can invite al of her friends for a sleepover and can take over the living room at the weekend.

Great idea!!

Ivyn · 09/12/2024 14:37

HPandthelastwish · 09/12/2024 14:34

I'd also be tempted to fill the house with "emotional women" and tell DD she can invite al of her friends for a sleepover and can take over the living room at the weekend.

Love this!

LookItsMeAgain · 09/12/2024 14:37

Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 14:02

Well…he came home from work, begging that things will change and he refuses to give up on the relationship. Stating he doesn’t care if I have given up he is staying put to ‘show me’ how things can be different!

I am now ignoring him. But I honestly have no idea how I am getting out of this tbh

Edited

We've actually told you how to get rid of him.

Did you contact your landlord to make the necessary arrangements to get him off the tenancy?

HPandthelastwish · 09/12/2024 14:38

@LookItsMeAgain you've missed an update,landlord is away until Thursday.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 09/12/2024 14:44

SalsaLights · 09/12/2024 14:21

Oh and that every day he spends in the house, you won't be doing his laundry, or any cooking for him, and you'll be putting a password on the TV (do so now!) and changing the wifi password.

This is a good idea in a shitty situation, hopefully he gives his head a wobble and leaves quickly.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 09/12/2024 14:50

@Rosettespur Pack his bags and put them outside the door. tell him to pick them up on the way out. If he has no rights in the house just change the locks when he goes to work, and dont let him into your bedroom on any account, his stuff should be out anyway!

DragonGypsyDoris · 09/12/2024 14:53

Some people are bigger, some people are smaller, quite a number of bigger people are in denial about their weight.

Fannyfiggs · 09/12/2024 14:56

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 09/12/2024 14:50

@Rosettespur Pack his bags and put them outside the door. tell him to pick them up on the way out. If he has no rights in the house just change the locks when he goes to work, and dont let him into your bedroom on any account, his stuff should be out anyway!

This. 100% this.

Get. Him. To. Fuck.

Cheeky cocklodging bastard 🙄