DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

[Rosettespur]

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

Exactly. 90 percent of posts saying why did you do that don't help change anything. We can be fairly sure OP won't do it again so no need to go on. There must be hundreds that have been in same situation so there must be some practical advice that can be given. A plan based on collective experience, so to speak. Kept legal, of course.

How's that worse? Who needs a twat like that?

Actually, most people do repeat patterns. They’ll date a similar person, they’ll accept similar treatment because it’s what they’re used to. So it does help to get them to step back, look at their decisions and work out what caused them to behave that way and maybe consider therapy to sort their self esteem issues.

He's testing your boundaries his mask is slipping

Yes, but does it need saying over and over again on a thread when the OP has said she realised she made a big mistake.

Agree. It doesn't even make sense. Tosser.

This!

Major red flag… he’d be out the door sharpish, especially after he said the last thing.

Let the agency know that he contributes fuck all and if you remove your name then that’s what they can expect from him.

Then the OP and her DD would have to move and the JAJ could try to pay all the bills on his lowly salary. He'll soon be evicted.

Perhaps the LL has another place to let?

talk to your landlord, get him to serve notice to both of you, he moves out, you start new contract. Hopefully your landlord is reasonable

As a landlord with one flat, I can tell you that a reliable tenant who pays rent on time and looks after my property as if it is their own home, is like gold dust. I know several people like me who rent out their flat they had before marriage but have got revolving door tenants with all the expense of lost rent, huge repair bills, redecoration costs, agents 'introduction' fees etc etc that having multiple short-term tenants causes, would be only too delighted to work to keep a long-term and reliable tenant like the OP.

There are legal ways to get or keep the tenants you want and get rid of those you don't, which OP should discuss with her landlord, CAB, or solicitor, ASAP, and meantime shake up her partner's comfy cocklodger lifestyle. Change the wifi password, only put staples in the cupboards and keep the nice food and wine in a lockbox, no more sex, no doing his laundry etc. Hide the tv remote if necessary!

Say if you are fed up with emotional women you can leave.

If my DH treated my dd like that he'd be out the door sharpish. When he asked me to marry him I told him me and my DC come as a package deal and he's always been very kind and nice to them. I wouldn't have married someone who didn't accept my DC.

Please get rid of him, your daughter doesn't like him and he's a ponce.

Also tell the landlord to take him off the tenancy.

he's a ponce
not a word I see much these days!
(he is of course)

I am a landlord and would help you any way I could if at all possible. But as others have said, he has to agree to come off the tenancy or you all have to physically move out and do it properly. You could leave your belongings there and be given 14 days to collect them and then restart the tenancy after the 14 days. But that could be so tricky and I would wonder if the landlord could get into really hot water over that one. Even if you physically moved out, stored your stuff and restarted the tenancy after a short period of time this could also be tricky and much as I’d want to do it for you, I wouldn’t. As a landlord, I’d want legal advice. Advice costs money.

Landlords can't just 'take people off tenancies'

Finally a landlord who understands the law and the risks of doing what so many landlords on this thread have theoretically offered to do!

Same here! As in ‘any man will do, as long as I have one!’

My mum moved her partner in after I has only met him a few times. When I had met him he completely ignored me or talked over me when I was talking to my mum. I have never really forgiven her for moving him in despite my protests and he continues to ignore me to this day. He never speaks positively of me, and on the rare occasion he does say anything to me it's always to put me down, eg I was talking about learning to drive and he actually made a pfffft noise and he said I'd never do that. My mum defends him and says he often ignores her too. I argue that she should want better for herself and her daughter but she always sticks up for him. I rarely spend time with her anymore and it's caused me massive mental health issues trying to process why my mum can put a partner and his needs before her kids.

Put your daughter first and protect your relationship with her. Kick him out ASAP.

Christ on a bike, now is not the time to pile on the OP. She is doing the right thing. She needs to be supported through this, not be assassinated.

That's really not helpful. We know how love blind people can get and the idea is to encourage OP to take off the rose tinted glasses. Not compare her dd to you @Ezlo .

Please talk to the charity Shelter. They’ll advise on your legal position. Good luck.