DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

[Rosettespur]

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

No landlord will agree to that 🙄

also she can't just remove him from the tenancy without his agreement. She could give notice and ask the landlord if they will give her a sole tenancy to start on the day they move out but this could be considered an illegal eviction (of him) and he could sue the landlord so it's by no means certain any landlord would agree to do this.

This isn't legal.

If you're a landlord you should know this isn't legal! You can be sued if you do this.

What you did was illegal 🤷🏼‍♀️ if they didn't actually move out when the s21 expired then the existing tenancy continued including his right to reside in the property. If you created a new tenancy for the woman you de facto evicted him by disregarding his existing tenancy and you could have been sued.

Don’t trip over that you’ve set ASTOUNDINGLY low

But it didn't happen, and he moved out and she stayed there as sole tenant.

Giving notice was absolutely my right, as was choosing who to rent to and sign up on a brand new tenancy agreement.

Editing to say their joint tenancy agreement was up and they were on month to month - so I gave legal notice. Once he moved out, I legally signed just her up to a new one year tenancy agreement.

Nothing illegal at all.

It's the crack about 'fed up of living with emotional women' I'd find the deal breaker. That's told you, loud and clear, who he is, his mental age and his attitude towards women - specifically, to the woman he's meant to love, and the light of her life, her daughter.

OP, he doesn't like your DD. He lives in her house. She's 14. You HAVE to protect her, in her own house, from his toxicity. Either get him to leave and see if the relationship has any legs if you just live apart, or dump entirely.

He's really done a number on you hasn't he?

Based on this information, I'd keep your powder dry until you've had whatever legal advice may be necessary to get him removed from the tenancy and get him removed from the tenancy and present it as a done deal at that stage.

Sorry, did he say he was "sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house"? Did you tell him he could fuck off your house then and find another one? Unbelievable!

@Wigglywoowho posted: "In the meantime I'd change the passwords for everything you pay for that he doesn't contribute to. I'd stop doing, shopping cooking, laundry etc and only do shit for you and your kid."

THIS, ALL of this! If you need to, get a lock and chain for the fridge and cupboards you keep food in. Or lock it up in a tote that can be locked. He can also go and stay in HIS DD's room until it gets sorted. Don't let him into your room.

Take back and reclaim your self-worth and your DD's happiness.

Obviously you don't have a time machine so I don't really understand the point of all the posts pointing out what you should have done differently. You are where you are. You need to have a proper think about what you want. Speak to your landlord. Does your boyfriend have a copy of the tenancy?

Agree with all this except don’t put them by the door. Put them outside the door and change the locks tomorrow.

😅🤣🤣🤣🤣

I moved my partner in 10 years ago got married 6 years ago....he puts more into the pot than i do BUT he is still not on my tenancy, as in his words this was my home before him and if we dont work this needs to stay my home.

Your bloke is a cocklodger and you need to get him out as soon as you can

The only part of this I'd recommend doing is that he moves into the room his DD has in your home. Everything else - I wouldn't recommend doing at all.

Play your cards really close to your chest. I wouldn't give him an inkling that there is anything wrong (just don't have sex with him and get pregnant) and then when you have all your ducks in a row, I'd present it as a done deal.

If you could, with the agreement of your landlord, you might have to move out (ask friends/neighbours to keep hold of your stuff if needs be) and then after a week or a fortnight, you move back in as a single tenant and sign a new contract with the landlord. That would be a verbal arrangement (so long as the landlord has no issues with it). I'm not sure of the legalities of doing something like that but as you would also be quitting the house at the same time as he would, he can't say that you weren't evicted too. You could, if asked, say that you couldn't find anywhere else and you approached the landlord to see if they had rented the place out yet and they were delighted to have you back, under the proviso that you were the only name on the tenancy.

Then why is he in your house?

So you have done this to your daughter?

Your cocklodger is establishing dominance. He is comfortable enough to double down and demand an apology from you for not accepting his behaviour! Fuck that. Call the landlord ASAP and get him out. Hopefully this is a lesson learned for you.

OP I have learnt from bitter experience never to let a man live in your house. It always ends badly. If he was an actual man he'd provide a home for you or would have at least equal to you. There are lots of men who pick up single mums because they know they will move into a comfortable home with everything provided.

I would recommend contacting women's aid OP.

He's verbally horrible, I would say abusive as his intentions were malicious, and he's also financially abusive to you and your child.

He doesn't pay you any significant contributions and this has a detrimental negative financial impact on you as he's taking advantage of your current tenancy situation.

If he was malicious he could also serve a notice to leave as a joint tenant which would end the tenancy for all of you. My ex did this behind my back.

You need to be put in contact with firms and organisations ahead of your confrontation with him, so that you can get advice about either an occupation order or a court ordered tenancy transfer. I don't have any experience of this and I don't know what the criteria is to meet the requirements for this either, and so I do really recommend contacting organisations like women's aid that can signpost you and you can get proper advice or legal counsel. I'm not a lawyer and my ship sailed before I realised I needed to board when this was me.

You can't change the locks and you can't just pack his bags and oust him, legally. He may claim you've illegally evicted him.

He sounds uptight but how is this misogynistic exactly

His comment about ‘emotional women’, ironically when he’s being bankrolled by a woman.

Calling them 'emotional women' as a way to put them down and refuse to acknowledge their feelings

You still hold the power here OP. He pays no bills - how is he going to afford the house on his own? I suspect he can't - whereas you know that you can.

So you tell him he needs to leave, because if he doesn't then you will serve notice on the house. You can find somewhere else to live whereas he can't.

No man at all would be a significant improvement. Don't Subject your DD to this prick any longer.