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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP's mum pointed out lack of acknowledgement - feeling embarrassed and uncared for

131 replies

stormyscotts · 07/12/2024 16:09

I’ve been with my partner for 18 months, and moved in with him 3 months ago. He has a little girl from a previous relationship who is 6. I met her and her mum together at the beginning of this year and have been in her life quite a bit since then. Partner asks me sometimes to look after her if he is working which I don’t mind doing as she is lovely. Her mum has dropped her off this morning to us and partner left to do his hobby at 12pm, got back at 3pm.

DPs mum is currently staying with us as she is experiencing some problems with her house, so as DP came in, I was sitting in the room with her and my dps little girl.

He came in, said hi to his little girl and his mum but not to me. He sat next to me but didn’t acknowledge me at all. I thought I was just being sensitive but it did surprise me. Then DPs mum said “aren’t you going to say hello to stormyscotts?” He said in a joking way “hiiiii stormyscotts”. DPs mum looked awkward and I felt embarrassed, but had to keep playing with DPs little girl.

He then came up to me about 10 mins after and asked for a hug.

Aibu that this is rude? I have been looking after his daughter, speaking with his mum and I just feel taken for granted, don’t expect much but some acknowledgement might be nice.

OP posts:
Hatty65 · 07/12/2024 16:13

Dump and run.

You've lived with him 3 months and he's already treating you like unpaid childcare.

What type of arsehole goes off to do a hobby for 3 hours leaving his gf and his mum looking after his 6 yo DD? She was there for contact with her dad - not to be treated like an unwanted parcel by him. Clearly he sees women as less important than him and his fun time.

He's not a keeper.

MounjaroUser · 07/12/2024 16:15

Ugh he's awful. He's just using you for babysitting and doesn't even think he needs to acknowledge your existence.

Where were you living before? Can you move back?

MounjaroUser · 07/12/2024 16:15

Eleven percent think he's acted in a reasonable way - have a look at the absolute losers that so many women put up with on these threads. They know no better.

Catbabymammy · 07/12/2024 16:16

Who provided childcare for the hobby before you moved in?

RubyRedBow · 07/12/2024 16:17

Is he always like that? I find it strange and ignorant.

Original poster
stormyscotts · 07/12/2024 16:21

RubyRedBow · 07/12/2024 16:17

Is he always like that? I find it strange and ignorant.

No, usually he’ll say hello and give me a kiss/hug even in front of friends and family. He’s now apologising but it’s mortifying his mum has seen him act like that with me. It makes me feel like he doesn’t even want to see me.

OP posts:
LemonyChicken · 07/12/2024 16:23

You're his live in nanny

FreddieStone · 07/12/2024 16:25

Even his own mother thinks he's an arsehole.

When someone tells you they are, listen. And when it's backed up by their mum, listen and then run!

Undisclosedlocation · 07/12/2024 16:25

The only person who should be mortified is him! You are not in any way responsible for his shitty behaviour and that is the only thing at fault here
i hope you told him to shove it when he asked for a hug? Selfish bastard should have been looking after his daughter, it’s HIM she is supposed to be there to see. What a bloody loser!

Beezknees · 07/12/2024 16:25

Why is he going off to do his hobby when he should be spending time with his dd?

Wrapmelon · 07/12/2024 16:34

How great his mum doesnt seem to think the sun shines out of her sons arsehole, something different. His mum sounds like a keeper, to bad her son comes with the package.

Original poster
stormyscotts · 07/12/2024 16:34

I don’t mind looking after his little girl, she is lovely and easy to look after. It’s the lack of appreciation or basic respect. When someone else points it out it just feels horrible. There’s been times when he’s moody and quiet but never outright ignorant of me. He now will make it a big deal that I’m offended

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 07/12/2024 16:36

So you've lived with him for three months and you're already doing his childcare and he couldn't be bothered to say Hello. Be a bit cautious here Op or you'll find yourself doing far too much- it's one thing if he really has to work but quite another if it's so he can do his hobby- don't be a pushover to impress him

Onceachunkymonkey · 07/12/2024 16:37

stormyscotts · 07/12/2024 16:34

I don’t mind looking after his little girl, she is lovely and easy to look after. It’s the lack of appreciation or basic respect. When someone else points it out it just feels horrible. There’s been times when he’s moody and quiet but never outright ignorant of me. He now will make it a big deal that I’m offended

The fact you even know he’s going to make a big deal of it, tells you you’re in an abusive relationship. It’s only going to get worse. I’d end this.

orangewasp · 07/12/2024 16:39

Beezknees · 07/12/2024 16:25

Why is he going off to do his hobby when he should be spending time with his dd?

Exactly. He's a lazy, selfish parent. Get rid.

Piffle11 · 07/12/2024 16:42

You were doing him a favour by looking after his child. He didn’t have to work, he was doing his hobby.

Does he often put his hobby before spending time with his child?

Three months in? Blimey. Get rid.

TranquilTurquiose · 07/12/2024 16:42

I don’t think big assumptions about his character or intentions can be made because he failed to personally greet you on one occasion. He has apologised so I wouldn’t give it another thought!

TomatoSandwiches · 07/12/2024 16:45

He is taking the piss out of you.

Do you know what else he doesn't acknowledge when he gets back after a 3hr hobby session... all of these other domestic appliances in the house.

Stop facilitating his life like proving free childcare and see how much worse he treats you.

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 07/12/2024 16:45

OP it sounds like you're a glorified babysitter...at first you said you only look after her when he's at work, but then he's gone for 3 hours to do his hobby. Alarm bells should be ringing here - he's massively taking the piss.

It doesn't matter that you don't mind, he shouldn't be dumping that on you. You are only in the very early stages of a relationship, it should still be fun and light, not all taking on his responsibilities.

MammaTo · 07/12/2024 16:49

He’s got you as a live in nanny, get shut!

LemonyChicken · 07/12/2024 16:50

stormyscotts · 07/12/2024 16:34

I don’t mind looking after his little girl, she is lovely and easy to look after. It’s the lack of appreciation or basic respect. When someone else points it out it just feels horrible. There’s been times when he’s moody and quiet but never outright ignorant of me. He now will make it a big deal that I’m offended

His daughter is there to see him

ForeverPombear · 07/12/2024 16:52

stormyscotts · 07/12/2024 16:34

I don’t mind looking after his little girl, she is lovely and easy to look after. It’s the lack of appreciation or basic respect. When someone else points it out it just feels horrible. There’s been times when he’s moody and quiet but never outright ignorant of me. He now will make it a big deal that I’m offended

It doesn't matter if you don't mind. He should be spending time with his daughter not swanning off to a hobby for three hours.

Catbabymammy · 07/12/2024 16:53

I don’t mind looking after his little girl, she is lovely and easy to look after.

If he would rather do his hobby she might as well be at home with her mum. Are you also cooking, cleaning and washing his clothes? While he’s moody?

How old are you both?

BeeCucumber · 07/12/2024 16:55

You are his "help" - time to throw him back.

GabriellaMontez · 07/12/2024 16:57

What are your plans for moving back out?

Because even if you're not ready to do that yet, you will be soon.

Not interested in your or his daughter. Wonder why it didn't work out with the girl's mum.

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