To resent my father because he's rich and could help me ?

[grabbie]

Is that grabby and entitled ?

This is unfortunately where you become unreasonable. If you want help, have the humility to ask for help. Maybe he’s at home talking to your mum asking why you don’t want help, but wants to respect your wishes. If you want help, ask.

I don't think there's enough information to say either way tbh.

I would personally also help my children if as adults they found themselves in such a position. Why wait til you die and hand over inheritence when you can help them when you are alive (assuming you have the means).

It depends what you mean by keeping the life you have. If you are living a life of luxury and want him to support that, then no I don't think he has an obligation to help you. If you are struggling to keep a roof over your head, heat your home or eat then yes I think he should support you.

What do you need to know exactly ? The crux of it is there.

What would you do if your father wasn't rich? Would you be more motivated to see (eg) what accommodations your employer can make for your health issues, what benefits you can claim etc?

YANBU.
it must be hurtful to know that he can help but chooses not to.
Especially as you are ill and face challenges to keep working.
We fully intend to help our son establish the best possible adult life with financial assistance/education costs and not hoard money to pass on when he’s 50+!
Your dad sounds a bit cruel.
Have you asked him for help directly, or are you waiting for him to offer??

Are you actually unwell? Because there have been a lot of threads lately from one or two posters going on about only feeling able to work 3 days a week because it’s just “too much” to work full time when there is so much other stuff she could be doing or only being able to work a few hours in the mornings because she has a hobby she simply must do “for her health.”

So, actually unwell? Or just would rather not work?

Short term or long term illness, and how debilitating? What’s the prognosis? I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect him to replace your salary indefinitely, helping out with some bills short term because you’ll be well in a few months time, perhaps.

He is trying to help you, by encouraging you to be independent and self sufficient.

If he has supported you through education, and supported you while you were a child and up to adulthood, then he has done his job, and it is now your responsibility to support yourself.

If your not well . You may be able to stop working or cut back on work and possibly claim pip and UC. But that won't be much really as its benefits. But its a God send to lots of ill and disabled people. Some people have to make a choice money or heath. Can't always have both . The fact is though it's not your money.

What's the lifestyle you want funded?

Is he just tight or did he disapprove of something you did? Like do a job he hates or have kids with someone he doesn’t like, have kids out of marriage. It’s very personal what people dislike or disapprove of.

Oh dear.
Mercenary?
I'd be livid as well, especially if ill.

Ahh, mind reading. Men are always good at that...

Well that’s you just being a martyr

Does he even know that you need supporting financially? Even if I was ill I don’t think my father would know about my financial situation well enough to make an offer of money. How many parents know the in’s and out’s of their adult children’s finances

I think if you are struggling through no fault of your own, he can afford to help but chooses not to then, he’s just mean and greedy. I would do anything to help my children if they were in need even if I could barely afford it.

Now where someone has received loads of help, never appreciates it, wastes it, or their problems are fully of their own making, or the parent can’t really afford to help then I would say that it was grabby.

My friend has divorced parents, her mum was poor and unable to work, her dad had loads of money and investments, a 6 figure salary, huge final salary pension. Of course it was her mum who somehow helped her with a rental deposit when she left uni. One time she was telling her dad about how she had no money that month because her car had failed it’s MOT, he listened and then proceeded to tell her how excited he was about his new car (a THIRD car, he already had TWO). He was greedy as it was little money to him that she needed to get the car that she needed for work through its MOT, but it was a lot to her.

So it’s very much context.

@Itisjustmyopinion he actually thinks I shouldn't work with my condition. It's becoming increasingly difficult as my mobility isn't the best.

How much has he helped in the past?

This. Plenty of people would be offended if offered charity as they have their pride, your dad may assume you are proud and don't want the help.
You want the help you need to get off your high horse and and ask for it otherwise you are being extremely unfair on your dad. He's not a mind reader

Then why don’t you speak to him. You’re right dad I can’t continue to work. But I have mortgage/rent/utilities etc to pay. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

if he doesn’t offer then he doesn’t want to help. 🤷‍♀️

Does he know you're struggling financially? I don't think you can complain if you haven't even asked.

@grabbie I'm not sure what kind of help you want from him? You are struggling as you are not well. I get that. But it sounds like you want him to give you a regular 'allowance' or Financial Help so that you can give up work altogether and he hasn't offered to do that, so you resent him?

Have I got that right?

What about your illness? Is this a long term issue, or something that will eventually get better? There are benefits you can claim if you are unwell. Do you have children? A partner?

Without further information, no-one on here can give you any advice/answer your question until we know more. Although, I am wondering if this post is even real, to be honest!!

If he's that rich he needs to get proper advice on Inheritance Tax planning. You could suggest that to him?

Which is usually to give some away and live for 7 more years. This saves up to 40% IHT on the amount given away.

A friend was once given a fairly substantial sum of money by a parent for this reason.

Why? He may assume that you don't want help as you haven't asked. If there's no back story, just ask him.

My parents always helped me, but I needed to ask. They assumed, rightly so, that as an adult I had my shit together.