To resent my father because he's rich and could help me ?

[grabbie]

Is that grabby and entitled ?

Yes, life is unfair. It happens to many people that due to health or other reasons, they have to change their children out of private school and change lifestyles when they would rather not. Yet even that isn't that awful compared to those who are having to skip meals or go without heating or a home this winter.

Don't know the royal kids but I wouldn't change places with them.

Your father is beyond contempt karma will get him. I’m a parent and would do anything for my sons and i’m not wealthy

None of your posts make sense. You say you weren’t rich growing up but your dad put money away. What does he do for a living, because it’s weird he has been able to save millions!!!

if you were struggling to live, I’d say your dad was being unreasonable but you’re wanting money to finance a lifestyle you can no longer afford. That’s your responsibility and yours alone. Like millions of other people, cut your cloth accordingly!

you sound really jealous of your dad, saying things like, why should only one person benefit from all that money. Because it’s their money, not yours.

Hahaha she has no plans to pay him back. She thinks her dad should put her kids through private school and pay for their university fees so she can give up work while she and her partner and kids continue to live a rich person's lifestyle

Oh. I had no idea.

Do you think the king would deny his grandkids private school education or anything, because the Duchess of Cambridge wasn't able to carry out her duties ( work )? I don't think so.

Many many many grandparents would cough it up for their grandkids if they were millionaires many times over. You're not asking for a sports car or a yacht. It's education.. early inheritance. I've seen it. Lots of grandparents use their wealth and trusts to pay for several generations education.. it's not that unusual in certain circles.

The vast majority of people are not in those extreme wealth circles. You're going to compare what to expect of your father to the king? Seriously? That's a whole other world for almost all of us.

You haven't even asked your father. If I saw someone had their children in private education, I'd assume they were doing okay and didn't need help. Either ask your father if he can pick up the private school fees, or cut your cloth according to your means like the rest of the population need to.

Lots of successful people have gone to state schools, not private. We all have to adapt to our circumstances.

Considering calling my parents to tell them that they shouldn't be the only ones to benefit from their money. When they laugh I'll tell them the king wouldn't deny me if I were his child. (Or maybe he would, I don't know him).

Is the a joke? I am presuming you are not royal family? I am presuming your child’s life wouldn’t potentially be in danger if they weren’t it a highly prestiges school with security and bodyguards.

at the end of the day either ask your dad if he will pay for the children to go to private school if you quit work, move them to a state school or suck it up and work until they no longer need funding!

Oh ok, I get it. You’re in certain circles. You shouldn’t have to work, there’s family money etc etc.

Do you think the king would deny his grandkids private school education or anything, because the Duchess of Cambridge wasn't able to carry out her duties ( work )? I don't think so.

No, but your kids presumably are not inline to the throne?

I think you need to cut your coat according to your cloth. You want someone else to pay for you to give up work forever more and fund an elite education for your kids.

Yes, that’s grabby.

@RosieLeaf I love working. I would love to be able to continue but I can't. Physically I'm declining and mentally too.

I don't think I shouldn't have to work. I've worked really hard my whole life. It's just my situation.

My dad has fun with it. He dangles the carrot when he feels like it. He told me out of the blue a few times he wanted to help, due to my ill health.

He then asked me to speak to my accountant - he'd speak to his. Then when I mentioned it again, he just said he was going to invest that money in something he was excited about. He just makes fun of it. So now I don't engage anymore with this kind of stuff.

I'm sure part of the reason I feel how I do is because he's just a massive dick to be honest. Maybe if he was half decent I would not resent him. That's why I would never ask because he would just mess me around anyway.

Unless they're wealthy and don't believe in private education.

Give up and become as self sufficient as you can. I spent a life looking after various assets and it turns out the family thought I "enjoyed" it and they were doing me a favour. Sometimes the perspective is off but don't get trapped into feeling indebted.

I don't like your tone Grabbie, but I agree with you. If your children are in private education and your ill health will prevent you from working to continue to pay for this then I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect your extremely wealthy father (proviso 1 - if he really is as wealthy as you say) to pay for your children's education. But with proviso 2 - where's your mother and what does she think? And are all your siblings in agreement? Or do you want a special situation for you? Because I'd feel uncomfortable about that.

You’re not in those certain circles — if you were, there’d already be a trust fund set up for all of this. Your dad is working class, so are you; he saved his money, you didn’t; and if you don’t work your kids will have to go to the school you’ve already paid for by working and paying taxes.

You've not got a decent word to say about your father, and maybe so, yet you'll still accept his money.

Ask away at least you'll have a definite answer.

Well, you're not royal and you have a father you clearly despise (maybe for good reason) so perhaps your energy would be better spent sorting your life into a form that is going to work for you and you kids longterm, rather than bemoaning the fact a selfish man will continue to be selfish. Frankly, I think it is a bit off to imagine someone you initially said you had a good relationship with and then slagged of as Scrooge on speed would pay possibly 100s of 1000s of pounds to educate your kids.

Also, if he agrees to pay the fees, he could take it out from under you at a whim, you must know that.

Honestly OP, with the way you talk about your father, if you want his help and know he's that rich (assuming your perspective isn't off), then just ask for school fee help. He either delivers or you move on relying on yourself, whatever that means. It doesn't sound like there's much to lose in the relationship itself.

It's hard when life throws us these curve balls, but it does. Then we just do what we need to do. It sounds like your children are close to the end of school anyway. Do the schools have a hardship fund that would help get them through the last year or two?

On the basis of what you’ve described of your situation, his situation and his personality, I would put aside your pride and ask him for some money.
He’s not going to offer so if you don’t ask, you won’t get. He has been abusive and he likely doesn’t feel empathy in the way must people do. So in a sense, you have nothing to lose.
Be factual and to the point. Tell him the situation you’re in and tell him you won’t be able to live if you don’t work. Ask him for help.
I really think the attitude that you won’t give him the satisfaction is a waste of your energy. There’s no point trying to keep the moral high ground when the person you’re dealing with doesn’t operate with a normal moral compass.

Anothernamechane it's called poncing.

Op I got to page 5
Yes he should help, all parents should if they can and of course they aren't enabling drug use and abuse.

No one asks to be brought into this world and yes you should pass it on your dad should help you.

Op, re giving him them satisfaction I think because you are ill you should just ask him.

Depends on what type of illness you have.... He may think you need to get off your arse and DO something...if its a problem that can be lessened or resolved

He may be withholding cash in order to motivate you into DOING SOMETHING to improve your lot.....ANYTHING to help yourself, to show some backbone.

Is there anything in him giving you cash that would be positive other than making you everlastingly dependant on handouts.

I mean, I disagree with private education on a basic level anyway so in terms of that aspect of your lifestyle op you'll not find much sympathy here.

I think if that's the only real difference you'd notice then yabu to expect hand outs. There are many of us who couldn't afford to pay for private education even with full time work and two parents contributing.

I would also say that free money usually is not ever really free, and having grown up with difficult relationships with my parents I would go (and have gone) without rather than be dependent on someone who would help with a caveat that could harm me in future. Your father sounds like someone you should have less to do with, not be beholden to.

I think either you ask directly for him to pay the school fees if that's a deal with the devil you want to make. Or you just let it go and either find other ways to cut back (holidays/ cars/expenses) or you move your child.

"They don't sew pockets in Shrouds"
100% I would help my kids without a doubt, you can't take it with you, so enjoy spending it, and looking after loved ones, especially if they are ill and struggling. In my mind it shouldn't even be a question, pity there's not more kindness and selflessness in the world op, I personally don't think you're wrong at all.

I'm sorry you're in this situation op. You've had a bit of a tought time of it hear but you love your kids and I'm very sorry your health is deteriorating in such a way. You don't deserve that.