To resent my father because he's rich and could help me ?

[grabbie]

Is that grabby and entitled ?

The backstory is hugely important though. Like we need to know can you really not work due to your mobility? Many people with mobility issues work other jobs that don't involve physical tasks. Are you claiming benefits you're entitled to as if what you're saying is true, you'd be eligible for PIP and similar benefits.
Is he still earning money or will paying for your lifestyle witter away his wealth to the point where he'd have to sacrifice his lifestyle?
It's not a simple question and there is lots of info people need to form an opinion so don't ask for one with zero information and get annoyed when people ask for more info. That strikes me as quite entitled.

Would you help your child if you were ever wealthy - if your child was sick but not on the breadline because of it.

Yes, but not to the extent of funding private education.

Plus where are you on funding the private education yourself? Bursaries? Grants? Remortgaging? All avenues explored?

That's because it is.
Sorry but kids also need to learn that when we can't afford things we can't have them

Guys stop accusing the OP of being a troll.... she's sent me proof of her story. Here's actual footage from the time her dad took her to show her how rich he is....

Yabvu.

Keep you off the streets, fed etc? Yes

Keep your kids in private school - no! Millions of children are not in private school because their parents can't afford it.

😂😂

YANBU

You've not even asked -- you expect him to be a mind reader. If you can't ask, you can't complain that he won't help you. 🙄

I’m sorry that you are sick and it’s impacting your work.

If your dad wasn’t rich what would you do then? What would you consider as viable options? Will you be so sick in future you won’t have options to choose from if you’ve left it to late to consider?

If he isn’t going to help and you’re not going to ask then looking at options is the best next step. Options that allow some level the luxury's that you are saying you are used to whilst allowing for some respite at times.

I don’t think mumsnet automatically disagrees with parents helping a child, its the openly loathing the person you want money from, and additionally the expectation this person you loathe should uphold your current high standard of living which is strange to read and unpalatable for some.

I hope you find a solution x

Well I'm not going to disappoint you - YABU. If you were struggling to feed yourself and your kids then yes, he should help you. To maintain your kids at a private school and let you continue to enjoy your current lifestyle - no. It's not up to your parent to pay for your kids education.

Your username sums you up perfectly.

But is this money or is it tied up in assets?

Maybe he would help if you asked? He's not a mind reader.

I have mixed feelings. On one hand, all of us have to survive and find ways, no matter what life throws at us. If you can afford it, putting income protection insurance in place earlier takes care of this kind of situation.

On the other hand, if my child struggled and I was as rich as you think your father is, of course I'd want to help them. In fact, I do help support a child because there are good reasons for it and they have a medical condition that limits their work. But I do try to balance letting them be a responsible adult with keeping them as a dependent, because that's not actually in their interests either.

Rich is relative. My son thinks I'm rich because he's comparing to himself. The reality is that I'm not visiting my parents overseas because, while I could, if an emergency happened and I had to go right back, that would be financially challenging.

OK, so now you have clarified, I don't think these are things he should feel he has to help with. There is nothing wrong with a public education. I know plenty of very successful public educated people. Saving for university, that's a luxury. Maybe he already has that in hand for when they do actually go?

If you couldn't eat and were at risk of losing your home, that's one thing. Optional extras like private school fees, that's your choice and not a necessity.

I would ask him to help with school fees. My only worry is will he keep up the payments or start buggering about blackmail wise. Is he to be trusted?

Absolutely, yes @grabbie you are grabby.

Ask him to help with the school fees then. Don't expect him to be a mind reader.

How many other GC does your DF have?
Do they go to private school?

Having seen your updates - no, I really don't think that's his responsibility at all.

But I get why you have complicated feelings about it because he sounds like a right piece of work as well.

Does he even know you need money or would like support? If you’re kids are in private school it is fair to assume you are pretty flush with money.

Ask if you want it or don’t but don’t expect him to just offer it.

He isn't a mind reader. Just ask him.
And saying it should come from him sounds very entitled.

I don’t think it is that entitled to want him to offer - to care. I just can’t relate to a parent who wouldn’t have the urge to help in some capacity.

I agree. Neither can I.

I help family big time. What would he say if you asked? Is he with your mother? Does he realise how tough things are for you? My heart goes out to you.

Given this

My dad just hoarded it, never even buying my mother a Christmas or birthday present. Same with us really. He only gave the absolute minimum. Forcing my mum to crimp and save a little bit of money together to buy us presents. He literally did the bare minimum to keep us fed. My mum did everything else for us.

Yanbu to expect your dad to support you in any way. He doesn't sound like that kind of person.

Maybe he's concerned about having to support you for the rest of your life, if your illness is only going to get worse?

All you can do is ask him. He's not going to offer.

This is wild. You're angry that your abusive narc father won't offer to maintain you in an upper middle class lifestyle while you don't work. You've not asked him but are angry he hasn't offered.

The vast majority of us can't afford to send their kids to private school so you'll get no sympathy here I'm afraid. Most of us wouldn't want to be beholden to someone as allegedly horrible as your dad either