Increasingly hate sitting next to people

[Woollypullover]

and I don't know why.

Is anyone else like this? I'm BU and should be comfortable sitting next to people, shouldn't I? I never used to be like this.

This coming week, I wish I could avoid a trip to the theatre and lunch with a group in a restaurant because I don't want to sit next to anyone.

I even make excuses and turn up late, so I can sit on the end.

I'm BU aren't I?

I think all it did was confirm to you that you prefer a hermit like existence. Thankfully, we are all like this otherwise the world would grind to a halt.

Yes, I accept what you said in your first paragraph.
However, my greatest fear in life is that others might for some reason outlive me (elderly abusive parent and my husband), which would be statistically impossible, and I wouldn't be able to live the way I want.
22 years with parents, didn't choose to be born, 20 years with husband.
Where are my own twenty years?
Simple.

Most of the comments here are not relevant to what OP actually said. She doesn't want to go to a lunch and theatre trip.

She posted about not wanting to sit next to friends/family and wanting to avoid a social occasion for that reason. I admit I am extra sad about this because I haven't got anyone to go with anymore. But it really genuinely baffles me - even if I still had my pre-Covid social life, I'd be saddened by this.

She isn't talking about public transport!

What happens if people that the OP deigned to spend time with ...what happens if one of them walks in and wants to give her a hug hello?! 😱😱😱

I should thank you OP - because you have genuinely made me realise I must spend less time here. It's starting to give me a weird view of the world.

You presumably chose to marry your husband though?

I am going alone to the theatre tonight and will be sitting next to shock, horror: strangers! I take the Tube daily. I regularly meet strangers.

I dont know anyone in real life who hates sitting next to their own friends!
How do you all manage sex? Deeply unhygienic activity.😂

Sympathies to you for having an abusive parent, and I guess that in itself must affect how you feel about people. However, surely if you want 20 years to yourself, it's within your power to choose not to be with your husband any more?

I think the pandemic taught me that too many people need to learn what personal space and spatial awareness is.

I’m not bothered by people sitting next to me if there is nowhere else to sit, but if there is more than enough room, empty train car or bus and not encroaching on others space (in a restaurant setting) than I am going to be irked.

Yes, this is similar to me. I used to take my daughter to the theatre often, and eat out regularly with work colleagues. Now the idea of doing either seems absurd. Theatres with hundreds of people packed into a small space - can't quite imagine why I used to enjoy it. Will never attend again.

Yes, of course.
I calculated that given where I come from, it would be for the best.
Twenty years ago, the bar for women in my country was pitifully low.

Most of the comments here are not relevant to what OP actually said. She doesn't want to go to a lunch and theatre trip.

Her thread title said 'hate sitting next to people', so any post about close proximity to people is surely relevant. In any case, it would be a bit odd to expect a discussion thread on an open forum not to expand in the slightest from the specific details in the OP!

Yes, it is.
However, he hasn't done anything wrong as far as I'm concerned, no kids, and he's 75 (all by choice).
He's a decent man and walking away is something I cannot manage.
The living on my own might be harder than I imagine, one day, anyway!

Shock, horror you could try talking to them......

Don't mind sitting next to people, strangers or friends. Do mind, massively, them touching me and me touching them.
I think the issue is too many people being squeezed into too little space.

Are they? I'm not. Are you?

Nah. Most of them.arent.

Can't you do things on your own? I am married a long time but still do stuff on my own.

Yep 100% what Crazygoatlady has written.

I can’t stand to be squashed in by some, usually male, overweight person thinking they can take up the space I have paid for.
I’m no skinny Minnie but by god a lot of the younger generation cannot go anywhere with eating and drinking. Unless they seriously cut down their intake they are going to become obese.

Strangely I have travelled on planes my entire life. It didn’t bother me being sat next to a stranger in the last but now it does.
I think Covid made me realise how much I value my own personal space. Plus in the past I was never seated next to anyone who tried to take up my space. Again, the population wasn’t as fat.
As posters have pointed out, no devices blaring out annoying everyone either.

It’s why I like working from home and hate going on public transport.

Yes, of course.
It doesn't seem enough, though. The desire is now for a permanent change. I know, nasty.
🙁

I’m pretty gross, to be fair but wherever I go to get away from me I go too. No escape from me for me.

I feel for you @Nothatgingerpirate and hope you get your happy life soon.
I escaped from my nightmare last year and it is blissfully peaceful on my own.

I certainly suspect the strangeness of people and their levels of aversion to others are much more prevalent on here than in real life. Thankfully I find that people in real life are less complicated.

I have voted YANBU as you can't help how you feel. I do think though that society in general would think YABU.
I feel much the same as you. Close friends or family are fine but strangers are something else- I hate sitting next to a stranger. I have misophonia and also a very strong sense of smell. Two examples spring to mind- 1. at the theatre a woman next to me clicked her false nails together throughout the show and I wanted to scream.

1. When I used to get the bus to work, a very smart looking lady often sat next to me. Her perfume/make up/some other cosmetic smelled really sickly and made me almost gag.

I always thought I was extremely unreasonable until I met others who felt the same.

Not everyone feels like that.