Increasingly hate sitting next to people

[Woollypullover]

and I don't know why.

Is anyone else like this? I'm BU and should be comfortable sitting next to people, shouldn't I? I never used to be like this.

This coming week, I wish I could avoid a trip to the theatre and lunch with a group in a restaurant because I don't want to sit next to anyone.

I even make excuses and turn up late, so I can sit on the end.

I'm BU aren't I?

It taught me the exact opposite. I like my own company, live alone and that’s how I want it. . The pandemic taught me that I enjoy getting out and about with other people more than I had thought. I say no far less often now, and seek out experiences with others - wither friends and family or going to events alone and being with strangers.

The pandemic taught me that I am never, ever going to cower at home again. I like people and going out, and I think most people are fine. Not smelly, gross, rude or inconsiderate, by and large. But I am alone in that on MN!

Thanks for not judging.
It's really just solitude I would like.

Same here.

People are all different I suppose. I do feel for the children of people who can't envisage dealing with public spaces and people any more. It must impact on them.

No you aren't. I'm with you.

So am I. I like my own space at home but I'm not going to cower and avoid people and the wider public.

Ha, it's funny how the same event can have such different effects on different people.

I’m with you, though I didn’t do any cowering at home perforce — we had just moved countries and a house purchase fell through, so we ended up in a tiny Airbnb in the countryside with no one for miles to cower from!

But I absolutely agree with the principle that the world and its other inhabitants are by and large interesting, and I like encountering them. I am in introvert (in the true sense, not in the Mn sense), so I do also need solo time to balance my sociable side, but I’m always interested to meet people, and don’t seem to encounter any where near as many smelly, noisy inconsiderate people on public transport as some Mners.

I agree with @CrazyGoatLady

During the pandemic, when social distancing was at its height, I'd never felt so comfortable going out. I didn't mind wearing masks - I quite enjoyed muttering insults under my breath and people couldn't tell who was talking.

I thought it was wonderful that people had to have that 2m distance. It would be great if that was still the norm.

I actually enjoyed supermarket shopping where the dots were on the floor to separate people in queues.

I have no idea why people need to stand so close to anyone else.

When my children were small and we happened to be queuing, I would pretend that I was picking nits out of their hair. It was amazing how much extra space you could get with that rouse.

I completely understand the logistics of seating arrangements and have to prepare myself beforehand so that I can tolerate it. But in general when standing still/queuing why do people insist on standing on top of you? It's very passive/aggressive.

Bring back social distancing or at least manners.

My daughters and grandchildren are diagnosed with autism - thinking I'm possibly autistic too.

I think the people saying it's gross etc are the extreme types who don't answer the door etc.

I commute on train and tube and have to grin and bear it. Don't like it though. Hate where you have to share tables to eat though and avoid Wagamama for that reason.

I get that completely.

Yes of course. Still great friends many years later. We aren’t petty to fall out over moving a few meters away 😂 but I can see some Mumsnetters must be hahahaha poor sods.

They then understood when the coach set off and the air con didn’t work. Everyone moved so they had 2 seats each to spread out over. It was the hottest day of the year so…..

By "real life" do you mean that when you go out and mix with other people, you unsurprisingly meet other people who also like mixing with people? Whereas the people who don't are, by definition, less likely to be there. They are no less real, just more likely to be at home, and posting on internet forums!

I mean myself and the people I know both personally and professionally. While they vary in their levels of sociability I don't know anyone who finds things like going to the theatre or meals out with people unimaginable since the pandemic or anyone who's made their lives so small.

I do feel for the children of people who can't envisage dealing with public spaces and people any more. It must impact on them.

I agree @ilovesooty
I often see threads on MN from extreme introverts dreading having to interact with HCPs, teachers, other parents and their DC's friends.

I'm sorry, but it goes with the job of being a parent. If talking to other people affects you so negatively maybe you should reconsider the idea of having children. You can't keep them from making friends and mixing with other people.

You think I should drive into a restaurant and the theatre.

Ok

Cheap companies cramming people in like sardines are to blame.

I'm not worried about germs at all (although people really can fuck off with their incessant sniffing).

I just hate being in close proximity to people for extended periods of time.

Instead of getting the bus. No need to be facetious.
If you don't like sitting next to people at the cinema you can either go at unpopular times or stay home and watch TV.

Actually, I cycle. Nobody should be encouraged away from public transport and into a car. 🌍

You can always stand if that bothers you so much.

Good idea. I'm sure the people on the row behind in the theatre will really appreciate that.

Just don't go then. Fake an illness and stay at home.

Jean Paul Sartre was right when he said “Hell is other people” and it definitely isn’t a new thing.

My view is that modern society is so overwhelming and complex that increasing numbers of us are struggling to cope.