Increasingly hate sitting next to people

[Woollypullover]

and I don't know why.

Is anyone else like this? I'm BU and should be comfortable sitting next to people, shouldn't I? I never used to be like this.

This coming week, I wish I could avoid a trip to the theatre and lunch with a group in a restaurant because I don't want to sit next to anyone.

I even make excuses and turn up late, so I can sit on the end.

I'm BU aren't I?

I don't think over-cleanliness was ever an issue. During this time I was on busy public transport every day, and was never someone who bleached everything to within an inch of its life. I was exposed to germs constantly, and was also ill constantly, so it seems more likely that those two things are linked.

You’re emerging on this thread as depressed op and/or profoundly anhedonic, as well as misanthropic, @Howmanymoredays . I don’t actually mean that unpleasantly, especially if you suffer recurrent illness, but are you seriously saying that you enjoy literally nothing in your life, and think that everyone else is the same, and that things they claim to enjoy are just ways to stave off creeping boredom, and they’re only pretending to enjoy them?

Christ, hark at Eyeore there.

I can't speak for how anyone else feels or what they enjoy. I have, in the past, done lots of "things" - mainly because it seemed to be the expectation that you were supposed to do those things. Be in a choir, or a band, for example, using the ones mentioned above. Go to a gig. Go swimming. Go on holiday etc.... But no, none of it was fun. Things to tick off perhaps, but generally time consuming and more like a chore than anything else. And social situations like sitting talking to people in a pub were actively unpleasant. I still do things to keep busy, mainly online these days (I decided to learn a new language recently), but also walks out in the countryside to keep active etc..., but now you phrase it that way, I do agree it is just to "stave off creeping boredom" and I can't think of anything that I actually enjoy or look forward to. Just ways to fill time. I don't know how that compares to others.

@Howmanymoredays, genuinely sincerely, that’s terrible. Have you always felt this way? I can only speak for myself, but I absolutely do derive huge pleasure and interest from life, even when it’s also challenging. I’ve moved around a lot internationally, which I’ve loved (I love the difference of a new language and a new culture), and I’ve always loved and been challenged by work, but even in the current quieter phase of my life (back in home country, renovating a house, parenting a tween), I get transporting pleasure from being by the sea, being out in nature in general, opera, seeing friends, film, art.

Agreed. It is not a normal way to feel. I look forward to all sorts of things in life. I can also find pleasure in things I do as a routine.

I do yoga for health reasons but I got great pleasure from my yoga class yesterday. I pushed myself to do a side plank and it felt easier than before so was very happy about that. I felt physically great afterwards. Also after a day WFH alone I enjoyed the chat I had afterwards with other class attendees.

Yes, I think I have always felt that way. Maybe a sense of accomplishment for having done something, like a tick off a list, but only in the same way as being relieved to complete chores like finishing the laundry or washing the dishes. Most things that people do for leisure I have no understanding of how/why they are enjoyable. Like going "shopping" (not for food), which I have always found to be a hideous way to spend time (!) and yet lots of people do it for fun regularly. Back when I was a teenager I did question what the point was in doing any of the things that people spend years of their life doing, but got stock answers a bit like those on this thread; "humans are social creatures," "people like spending time with each other," "find things you enjoy doing" and for a long time I followed the template of what everyone else seemed to do. But I never did find a point to any of it, or anything that was enjoyable. So now it's just a case of finding things to do to pass the time which aren't actively unpleasant. I have a job which I am good at, which keeps me busy for most of the time.

@Howmanymoredays i have friends with post viral fatigue - one from shingles and one from covid. Neither would agree with your answer to the issue.
However, this bit As for finding social interactions fun; is anything in life really fun? It seems that most activities are just ways to pass the time; things people do ' just because' and I have yet to find any that are remotely enjoyable. Most hobbies that people have seem totally pointless, and not at all worth the effort they take is depression. I know, because I’ve had it and that’s how I felt. (And yes, I know everyone feels it differently, but not enjoying activities is a universal classic symptom). Of course the hobbies people do aren’t just to pass the time, though they do, and aren’t pointless. Most of the point is to have fun do8ng them. Some have other points - my friend makes clothes for people, I creat music which gives pleasure to a load more people, and I walk dogs for the dogs’ home which I enjoy, it helps my mental health, and means the dogs have a more fulfilled life. Not pointless at all.
Seriously, you need to address this.

Can't believe 56% of people have agreed with the OP. Oh wait, I can.

Well, put simply,so you’ve booked theatre tickets.
You know it involves sitting next to people.

You do have a choice: stay at home!