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Original poster

Dh making us drive in red warning

602 replies

BlueFoxel · 06/12/2024 21:00

It just so happens dh and I have been on the Welsh coast for the past few days enjoying a mini break before our wedding. Was sent the emergency alarm earlier today. We are due to set off tomorrow morning in the middle of the red warning for wind. I have shared my concerns with dh but he really does not care at all. Dh thinks I am dramatic at the best of times and has totally dismissed my fears. He has a football game he is wanting to drive back home for. He is very arrogant

I am really bloody stressed out.

Please tell me I am being crazy and everything will be fine.

OP posts:
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16
Talulahalula · 06/12/2024 23:25

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 06/12/2024 23:24

The Aber students are staying with their friends up the hill rather than being on the Seafront which is totally sensible! Go Aber students!

Yes, quite how anyone misunderstood that is beyond me.

Foundanotherwrinkle · 06/12/2024 23:25

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/12/2024 23:19

So they're in the red zone, everyone else has the sense to stay home and they decided to go camping?? Wow, you clearly no longer need brains to go to uni these days. Haven't heard anything this irresponsible for a long time.

I assume she means camping out as in staying with. Not literally camping.

I've only ever heard camping out as sleeping in a tent. I've never heard camping out in a house. You learn something new every day

BettyBlueSky · 06/12/2024 23:26

Your husband is not a survivor. What I mean is if a person ignores the warnings and does what they want regardless, chances are they will get themselves and the people they have influenced to do the stupid thing (in this case you) killed.

Also, emergency personnel are then put at risk needlessly.

Always trust YOUR instincts and good sense.

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 06/12/2024 23:26

Like you said he's never experienced it before. You may find come morning if it is bad he will go out and think I can't drive in that!

Also high winds particularly affect big boxy vehicles like those used by emergency services. I wouldn't be risking it.

TubeScreamer · 06/12/2024 23:29

say you will stay and make your own way back on Sunday/Monday once it is safe to travel.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/12/2024 23:30

@Foundanotherwrinkle it's probably regional.

Clafoutie · 06/12/2024 23:30

mum11970 · 06/12/2024 21:53

Gees calm down and just wait and see what it’s like tomorrow

We are being told what it will be like - a red ‘danger to life’ alert. These are rare and not issued on a whim.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 06/12/2024 23:31

I live in Wales. I won’t be going outside the house. When it storms it storms. When it storms there are always posh twats getting stuck in some way. Honestly stay where you are.

IcecreamWhatSandwich · 06/12/2024 23:31

PickAChew · 06/12/2024 23:23

OK. That makes it all OK, then. I mean, those poor men can't help being arrogant, useless twats and we shouldn't deprive them of sex on tap for it.

Show quote history

You have completely distorted what I am saying.

I definitely did not say "those poor men can't help it".

And I definitely did not say "we shouldn't deprive them of sex on tap".

I said that many women choose to be with men like this because most men are like this.

It is ridiculous to say that having understanding for those women and the choices they are faced with is equivalent to justifying the men's behaviour.

IcecreamWhatSandwich · 06/12/2024 23:33

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/12/2024 23:22

What a depressing post. DH isn't like this, and I'd much rather DD chose 'nothing' than 'something shit'.

I agree a lot of men are shit. The answer is for all of us to not shag them until they collectively sort their crap out. They are currently looking for each other's approval when they should be looking for ours.

High standards ladies!

Show quote history

Completely agree with this. Trying to describe some people's situation, not advocate it or celebrate it.

mathanxiety · 06/12/2024 23:34

Why are you marrying this arrogant man who causes you distress and gaslights you?

quixote9 · 06/12/2024 23:35

Mine isn't your situation. I want to tell you about it because of how I felt. I was on a small island in the Gulf of Mexico. Plane flights left from a small airport on the mainland about 20 miles away. I had a must-catch flight in two days, the weather was gorgeous, there was a gale advisory for the day I'd be travelling. I decided to stay and squeeze in that last day. The locals all said it would be no problem. On the day, the waves offshore were maybe 2 meters+. It was going to be a bit "interesting" but what the hell, right? Five of us got into the 7m boat with an outboard motor. We were dressed in our wetsuits because we weren't stupid. Three locals went too. They put on life jackets. I thought, wait? really? how bad is this going to get? The locals never wore life jackets. Once we were no longer in the lee of the island, the waves were 5m, maybe sometimes more, and the storm had knocked loose so much seaweed that it kept tangling in the motor and stalling the boat. Luckily, the local guys always got the motor disentangled and restarted before we had to head into the next wave. If they hadn't, I wouldn't be here telling you about this. Anyway, point being, I have never been so terrified in my life before or since. And in my case, "nothing" really happened. [................paragraphs not working for me, sorry ...................] In your case, it's a gamble whether it's just an inconvenient drive no-big-deal, or possibly there's a downed tree across the road and you're waiting hours for it to be dealt with in the howling gale and horizontal rain. (You have handy pots to piss in inside the car? Or will you have to go out into it? Also: air. Can you keep the ventilation running for hours? Or will you have to open a window?) Things can get very nasty very fast even when it's nowhere near a disaster. Your D-soon-to-be?-H is no worse an idiot than I was, but I'd advise against travelling with someone like that.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 06/12/2024 23:36

IcecreamWhatSandwich · 06/12/2024 23:31

You have completely distorted what I am saying.

I definitely did not say "those poor men can't help it".

And I definitely did not say "we shouldn't deprive them of sex on tap".

I said that many women choose to be with men like this because most men are like this.

It is ridiculous to say that having understanding for those women and the choices they are faced with is equivalent to justifying the men's behaviour.

Show quote history

To be honest I'd have said quite a lot of men aren't like that. BICBW

Solent123 · 06/12/2024 23:38

Let him try and drive back on his own OP, you can decide if you want to start a new life in Wales without him or get the train back on Monday.

Awishcometrue · 06/12/2024 23:38

Typerighter · 06/12/2024 21:04

Id take water, blankets and food in case you get stuck in a 20 hour tail back because lorries have turned over.

THIS! we recently got stuck in a similar situation it was bloody awful 😖
I would check the conditions in the morning but ideally would stay where you are for another day if possible, a red warning is almost definite disruption, so why not wait and see how the storm plays out before setting off, hope you have a safe journey home whatever your (his) decision
Stand your ground OP

fridaynight1 · 06/12/2024 23:40

IcecreamWhatSandwich · 06/12/2024 23:19

A lot of the people commenting on whether OP should still marry her fiancé are missing or ignoring a basic fact about situations like this:

Most men do stuff like this all the time. Most (straight) men act like this with their partners. Most men believe that this is an appropriate way to treat their female partners. Most men have been taught or decided for themselves that a woman's feelings about a situation like this should not be taken seriously, let alone followed.

Some are not like this, but the vast majority are.

Women do not marry men like this one because they want to be treated like this. They get married because they want to be in a conventional relationship and family. And they marry men like this because that is what is out there.

"Do you want to live your life being told you’re overly dramatic? Do you want to be with someone who minimises your fears? Do you want to continually be told that your feelings don’t matter?"

If all women regarded their options in this way, there would be very few marriages, long-term heterosexual relationships or traditional nuclear families.

You might think that this is a good thing. But you should acknowledge, when you talk about OP's relationship in these terms, what you're actually advocating: lesbianism, single parenthood, or celibacy. Again, nothing wrong with those choices. But don't imply or suggest that she should drop her current partner but is likely to find another man whose outlook will be completely different.

There are only so many men who meet the standards being implied here (even though the standards of basic decency and consideration of one's life partner are not very high).

Rubbish.

laveritable · 06/12/2024 23:41

A massive tree in front of my house, fell due to the last storm ; no car or person could have survived the impact! I would never go out with this storm!

Minc · 06/12/2024 23:42

Your boundaries are being tested here: don’t get in the car in a red warning; with a drunk driver; with anyone or in any circumstances where you don’t feel safe. It’s you now — it’ll be your children, if you have any with him, next whether you’re still together or not.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 06/12/2024 23:46

Tesco's have already cancelled my delivery tomorrow (from the mid-Wales coast).

"They died rushing through the storm to get to a football match" sounds like Darwinism in action.

bettbburg · 06/12/2024 23:48

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 06/12/2024 21:46

I work in Emergency Planning. I can guarantee that the only reason the Met Office have issued a red alert and the emergency alarm was issued is because nobody had anything better to do, and it's fine to ignore it. No other rules apply to your DH to be either.🙄

Were they playing the Friday afternoon who can come up with the worst scenario game again <rolls eyes>

SouthLondonMum22 · 06/12/2024 23:48

He can't make you do anything. If he's stupid enough to drive in it, he can go without you.

I'd also be second guessing getting married to him.

DinosaurMunch · 06/12/2024 23:51

You probably won't get squashed by a tree - you're highly likely to be delayed for hours, stuck in traffic, get diverted around closed roads. Going tonight would have been the best option IMO. ^^

cherish123 · 06/12/2024 23:53

If there's a red warning, refuse to drive.

JFDIYOLO · 06/12/2024 23:58

Please don't have kids with him.

Silvers11 · 07/12/2024 00:00

Foundanotherwrinkle · 06/12/2024 23:17

So they're in the red zone, everyone else has the sense to stay home and they decided to go camping?? Wow, you clearly no longer need brains to go to uni these days. Haven't heard anything this irresponsible for a long time.

Show quote history

Good Grief 🙄They are ''camping out' is an expression, which means they are making do on sofas, floors whatever in friends flats/shared houses which are not on the sea front as they will be safer staying with their friends, if a bit uncomfortable. The danger on the sea front will be more.

It does NOT mean they are going to be in tents etc.