Dh making us drive in red warning

[BlueFoxel]

It just so happens dh and I have been on the Welsh coast for the past few days enjoying a mini break before our wedding. Was sent the emergency alarm earlier today. We are due to set off tomorrow morning in the middle of the red warning for wind. I have shared my concerns with dh but he really does not care at all. Dh thinks I am dramatic at the best of times and has totally dismissed my fears. He has a football game he is wanting to drive back home for. He is very arrogant

I am really bloody stressed out.

Please tell me I am being crazy and everything will be fine.

The ‘insufferable’ remark has really made me laugh, thanks a million for that !!

But you haven't put your foot down.
You're only not travelling because the bridges are closed and he won't make his precious football match with the length of the diversion.
He hasn't said "goodness love, you're right it's definitely too risky to drive at the moment".
He doesn't GAF about your opinion (or safety).

I'm interested to know on what subjects he allows you to take the lead. Really hope it's not just hoovering and the colour of the curtains but he sounds like a misogynistic arsehole.

Having driven to and from from Wales and Kent and the Midlands so many times in the snow, in the sleet, in winds, in rain I am really ridiculously invested in this.

OP please keep us updated on your wedding cancellation plans. Do not marry this utter twat.

@BlueFoxel plwase let us know that you’re ok. This has obviously revealed a bigger issue than you could have imagined.

Just to add about the bridges - the are roadworks on the Prince of Wales bridge atm. I can’t imagine many cones are left in the right place, if at all so even once the wind drops there will be a lot of sorting out to make it safe before it can reopen.

I can't even get out of my Somerset town becsuse of fallen trees everywhere. Wales is going to be horrendous.
As a 62 year old woman who has made three marriage .mistakes stand up for yourself now and refuse to go ahead with this .marriage. you will regret it for the rest of your life. I know men like this. And how I know them.
The day you stop being told what to do by parents and fiancee and say no will be the first day of the rest of your new, happy life.

Watch out for SatNav alerts that promise to save you 10 minutes if you come off the main roads onto some benighted country road. They are just the sort of roads to be easily blocked by falling trees and will be the last ones cleared.

I hope you get home safely.

Do you want 50 years of living with an arrogant man who thinks you are an idiot?

There's still matches going ahead, contrary to popular belief not everything has been cancelled.

And lighting a fire will be handy if you want to use your snazzy wood burner or fire place. There are plenty of houses where fires are the only source of heating, still. When the electric is down, your even your gas boiler can’t run so you don’t have heating and may find a fire handy.

I doubt this skill is about lighting a wood burner which is easy peasy.

He surely means rubbing a flint or sticks together in the cave? Then he'd go out looking for a woolly mammoth to kill for dinner.

When you are trying to get back from Wales to London and the motorways are all closed?

Hope you all are safe OP. You really do need to stand your ground here. Your, feelings and voice are equally valid and important, so don't discount them. A very firm "I am absolutely not travelling anywhere right now! You can do whatever you want" and mean it. It gets easier the more you stand up for yourself.

OP, think hard about what's happened this weekend before saying the words "I do". Make sure you want to live your life deferring to his judgement, be certain it's what you want.

Exactly- dp can't "make" you travel in this weather. You aren't a child.
And anyone who would be that much of a prick to try and force you when you have expressly said you are staying put is not worth marrying x

It's incredibly weird that a grown adult wouldn't know how to light a fire or read a map. They're just basic life skills.

I can't iron. Apparently that's a basic life skill. But it's not the point of the thread. You can lack basic life skills, but be confident in knowing your own mind, and probably have other strengths anyway.

He infantilises you. Don't marry him, it will get worse.

Are you sure you want to marry him? He will never change, you know.

It's slightly beside the point, I think, but my interpretation of this was it wasn't about day to day living, but survival skills in the wild. Bear Grylls etc.

So- the fire lighting would be using sticks (rubbed together.)

And the map reading would be using a compass and plotting co ordinates if you were lost half way up a mountain or on Dartmoor.

Not throwing together some sticks and having a box of matches handy, or checking which junction on the M4.

I hope the OP is sitting in the cosy cottage, drinking tea , eating mince pies, and composing a 'wedding is off' message to her family.

While her ex-fiance is battling his way out of Wales.

Why are you marrying him?
He sounds awful.
Thank god you didn't inflict him on children.
You sound as if you place little self worth on your life, which is really sad.

💯Top comment of the thread.

Come on OP, Mumsnet is rooting for you.

Because we know. We know. You can disentangle yourself from such nonsensical behaviour. Imagine what you could achieve and who you could be without the this silly man.

LTB.

And your fiancé's funny ways are only going to go worse and worse in middle and older age. He may not mean it, he may think he's sensible, he may not know how to take your views and thoughts into account without meaning any harm but that doesn't actually make his behaviour any better or less damaging for you.

@BlueFoxel I live in one of the Welsh places with highest recorded wind speeds. There's a lot of roads closed here, including the main road into our local town, and I anticipate more as more branches & whole trees fall onto the roads.

Your fiancé sounds like a dick. The only people driving now should be medics and people who really need to get to a hospital.

If he wants to put his own life at risk, that's up to him (even though I don't agree with it), but it's unacceptable for him to dismiss you like this. I smacks of 'I am male so I know better than my panicky, pink brained wife'. If he's like that now, he'll likely get worse, not better, as time goes by.

YABU to not have left when you got the warning.

This.