Dh making us drive in red warning

[BlueFoxel]

It just so happens dh and I have been on the Welsh coast for the past few days enjoying a mini break before our wedding. Was sent the emergency alarm earlier today. We are due to set off tomorrow morning in the middle of the red warning for wind. I have shared my concerns with dh but he really does not care at all. Dh thinks I am dramatic at the best of times and has totally dismissed my fears. He has a football game he is wanting to drive back home for. He is very arrogant

I am really bloody stressed out.

Please tell me I am being crazy and everything will be fine.

You haven't said why you are marrying him?

You find someone considering whether a weather warning is worth heeding too extreme to bear? That's one of the most highly strung comments I've read on here!

Loads of trees are down and power is out for many.

Err, they aren't just randomly going out for the day. They are going home at the end of their holiday, so that's not no reason. They also have a wedding soon so probably can't afford to just pay for extra hotel days and meals willy nilly. That's if there are even any rooms available.

It sounds like the OP just leaves all these things to her partner to sort. And then expects him to jump on extra tasks and expense because of a weather warning.

It's not "just a weather warning" though, is it? It's a red alert - danger to life and an advisory not to travel because it's unsafe. She's absolutely right to be worried.

This popped into my mind too😬

On a truly practical level: no one will be coming in to that cottage today for handover - any owner would have to be pretty stone hearted to insist you leave or charge you to stay in this extreme situation so if any of that is driving a concern that you cannot stay then I wouldn’t be worried.

You will be able to get public transport when this passes - yes it will be trickier but again, it’s an extreme circumstance. I imagine you’d be able to rent a car from enterprise or the likes if you’re worried about the dogs on public transport.

Im not going to hammer the point home again about the nature of this man however I will ask one thing - in what scenario to you is it sufficient to let anyone else other than you risk your own life?

I live in south Wales and we all received alerts last night from the UK government telling us not to go out basically. I would refuse to get in the car and think seriously about whether I wanted to get married.

You're talking utter nonsense, go back to your merlot.

Football match is cancelled

I'm not going to jump on the leave the bastard bandwagon if generally stuff is usually ok and he's just a bit of a knob sometimes. I can imagine having this conversation with my husband. We live somewhere that often has weather related travel disruption so are used to dealing with this kind of thing. You may not be so used to this.

A red warning is a danger to life. You are not supposed to drive in a red warning. Sometimes disruptions occur in life and they can be costly and inconvenient, but it's better than dying. It takes a particularly stupid person to disregard a red warning and attempt to stick doggedly to their plans. It's not just a bit of bad weather.

@BlueFoxel
Do you really want to marry a man who is perfectly happy to force you into a dangerous situation that frightens you? Why isn't he acknowledging your right to feel safe?

Please don't walk down the isle with someone who puts his need to feel important and independent of authority over your emotional and physical wellbeing.

I am not sure where you are OP but check the local council website and Facebook. The main road out from here in West Wales is blocked both ways by trees and flooded and the alternatives are remote and wouldn’t be recommended.

Not to mention the strain on resources and putting emergency personnel at risk if something does happen.

Do not make this man your ‘DH’ even in a danger to life weather situation he’d rather risk your life to watch a football match. Don’t ever forget this moment. Please make plans to leave him because he’s shown you your worth to him. One thing to be dense enough to want to play with his own life but yours and your poor dogs as well?

I’d be so ashamed of his arrogance and foolishness that there is no way I could possibly marry him. Please for your own sake leave, he is extremely controlling. I’m sure if you allow yourself to sit down and think about it in the cold light of day you’ll realise this probably is just the tip of a huge iceberg. You deserve much better.

All roads into England are closed at the moment

who cares about that, her husband wants to watch football because
watching a bunch of guys in tiny shorts chasing a ball is worth the risk of death and putting emergency personnel at risk.

The man needs to have his head checked. I'm shocked the OP is marrying this irresponsible twerp who puts his family at risk just so he can watch football.

This must be a wind up, or else you haven’t listened to the news today.

Just looking at road updates and there are several closures on M4 before you even get near the severn bridges, so unless you want a ridiculously round about route it won't be worth it until much later at least.

Do they tend to open after the worst has passed? Do people familiar with the area suspect the bridges will reopen later in the day?

they do reopen the bridges but you could have a long wait. I'm about 10 miles from the Old Bridge and the wind is still well over the allowable limit.

best option is to keep checking the National Highways website for closure status - they update the status as soon as the bridges reopen.

As at 09:52 hrs, both bridges are still shut

https://nationalhighways.co.uk/travel-updates/the-severn-bridges/

If you put your thinking cap on and think reaaaally reaaaally hard, I'm sure you can figure it out!

Here is information about the maximum limits for wind speed they use to decide when the bridges are shut. It's just as much about the operatives' safety putting out the road closures / traffic filtering system, as it is about safety of the motorists.

As part of this review, we adjusted the wind thresholds for closing the bridge:

• 30 knots – 40mph speed limits in place
• 35 knots – leeward lanes closed with red X signs
• 40 knots – bridge closed
• 70 knots both bridges closed

OP it's time to learn how to stand up for yourself.
I don't know how "passive" you are but I think you need therapy to learn how to say no.
It really worries me that, even when you are terrified at the thought of driving home in a red alert, you aren't able to just say "No, not doing that".

TallNeckedGiraffe , he'll get worse!

At least this whole episode will show your DH how wrong he has been over this.

OK he won't admit it to you openly but he will see the facts - he's probably one of these stubborn. closed-minded types who won't believe anything unless he has the facts before his very eyes,