I’ve just caught up. Oh, I’m so so desperately sorry Laura about your poor boy and his absolute dick of a father (that initially autocorrected to sick and yes - a pile of sick is about right too!). What utter bollocks about his friends, he will be even more exciting to be friends with when he’s in shorter supply! His dad is just clutching at straws to hurt you and because he’s desperate for you to fail. What a despicable human he is. I think that as he’s such a highly abusive man, your children must have some coping mechanisms to deal with him (even if he’s not outwardly abusive to the children) and they may have followed your lead a bit also. So they may feel they have to walk on eggshells and pander to him. It doesn’t mean a huge part of your youngest isn’t desperate to be with you on some level and knows his dad is bullshitting him, it’s just hard to go against what this controlling man says. I know my son is much more worried about his dad’s feelings than mine - frustrating at times but you’re the safe person who will always have unconditional love for them. Don’t lose sight of that although I know it must be horrendously hard not seeing your youngest. No matter what he repeats from his dad, I know he will be feeling that too, keep texting/talking little and often. Be the calm, reasonable voice in his ear. You’re so wonderful, articulate and kind and your son will be missing that even if his dad is messing with his mind just now (or trying to).
do you know if you qualify for legal aid? That might be a good starting point for some advice.
The panic attack sounds really scary but also really understandable that you are going and have gone through so much. having this indirect contact again with your ex and knowing he’s harming your son in this way is bound to be really hard for your brain/body/mind to deal with. I remember seeing something that said when you’re going into a panic attack try and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Just to anchor yourself in the physical.
and please please don’t feel you have to be endlessly positive on these threads! You have made it through so much but we all get there are battles left to fight and we are here for that as well as the crafting, green coats, cats and positivity! There are plenty more hugs left to be given out all round as needed 🤗
oh and I loved the pics you posted on the last thread! It all looks so lovely 💕.
@Apolloneuro that’s so lovely you saw wicked! I’m desperate to see it and trying to work out a time around babysitters etc 🤪. Good to know it’s definitely worth it 😆. Hope you’re feeling ok and the urine infection gets sorted soon.