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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to move DS into his own room so DH can move back into our room?

166 replies

2point4kids · 29/04/2008 21:13

DS2 is 10 weeks old now. He is sleeping in a moses basket beside my bed.
DH has to get up early for work so has been sleeping downstairs in the spare room every week night so he doesnt get disturbed and be tired for work.
He generally sleeps up in our room at the weekend and I sleep downstairs to get a break!

DS is down to 1 night feed now but its probably gonna still be quite some time before he sleeps through..

I'm thinking of moving him into his own room soon so that DH and I can both sleep in the same room again...
I know you are supposed to keep them in with you till 6 months old but...It feels like we never see each other at the moment! he isnt home from work till about 8/8.30pm and I am usually in bed by 9pm (knackered!)

AIBU?

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 29/04/2008 21:14

your dh is BU

not sleeping with you because ds is up in the night once?

oh poor lamb

beansprout · 29/04/2008 21:15

ds2 is 14 weeks and now things have settled down a bit, dh is just back in bed. Are the night wakings a noisy business? Could dh sleep with ear plugs? There are good reasons for the recommended 6 months, I would do what you can to keep ds in with you for a bit longer. Besides, you will only be running up and down the hall, so good for dh but rough on you.

beansprout · 29/04/2008 21:16

Aye, there is that. I have no sympathy for anyone getting a full night's sleep atm. I haven't had one of those for months!

Cappuccino · 29/04/2008 21:17

really?

people's husbands really go to sleep somewhere else in case they get tired?

really?

posieflump · 29/04/2008 21:18

yanbu
both of mine were in their own room since the day they came back from hospital
sometimes I slept in the spare bed in their rooms and sometimes I slept with dh in our bed and sometimes he slept in the spare bed
but often we slept in our room and they slept in theirs from week one

Cappuccino · 29/04/2008 21:20

baby 10 weeks old

wakes up

gets feed falls asleep

you do realise if you put him in another room you will be tramping around the house at 3 in the morning?

how is this more restful?

beansprout · 29/04/2008 21:20

Dh did for a bit. He has a very demanding job and I couldn't see the point of taking him hostage just because I was b/feeding ds2. Yeah, I could wake dh up and make him change a nappy but I would only be sitting there criticising watching, so couldn't see the point.

And, to be fair, he spent a lot of time looking after both boys so I could catch up on sleep, so it worked out quite well.

cat64 · 29/04/2008 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Cappuccino · 29/04/2008 21:21

but if you are bfeeding you make no noise

there is no slurping involved

beaniesteve · 29/04/2008 21:22

Can I ask a stupid question - are you supposed to keep babies in with you for the first six months?

I think I am in for a shock!

omy · 29/04/2008 21:23

Hi 2point4kids! My LO is also 10 weeks old. She has just graduated to a cot (in our room). DH was in the spare room but moved back into our (much more comfortable) bed 2 weeks ago. It seems to be working OK as LO only has one nighttime feed and DH is rather good at covering his ears with a pillow to block out the slurping noises! It is nice having him back in our bed though. I know what you mean about not seeing DH much.

Original poster
2point4kids · 29/04/2008 21:24

DS wakes up once, sometimes twice a night and is not incredibly noisy, but I do feed him in bed and turn the light on to make up the bottle etc..

I dont think DH is being unreasonable to sleep downstairs during the week... he does get up at 6am for work and isnt home till about 8pm... plus he makes me dinner when he gets in from work AND does the dishwasher/bottles etc before he goes to bed
He does the night feeds at the weekend too

Maybe the earpugs idea would work....

OP posts:
beansprout · 29/04/2008 21:24

It's not b/feeding that is noisy, it's the crying, unsettled baby.

CoteDAzur · 29/04/2008 21:25

YANBU. I don't know anyone who kept their babies in their room until they were 6 months old.

posieflump · 29/04/2008 21:25

beaniesteve - that is the currect SIDS advice

EffiePerine · 29/04/2008 21:26

Can't see why your DH can't put up with one night feed - not exactly sleep deprivation. Tell him not to be such a wuss!

wannaBe · 29/04/2008 21:26

well it depends. Your dh aside, do you want to move your ds into his own room? if no, then I certainly wouldn't move him just because your dh won't sleep in your bed while he's there.

I do sympathize with the whole waking up in the night thing if he is going out early, plus getting up and going out early has an impact on baby's sleep as well, but i think that dh is being a bit unreasonable to have gone to sleep somewhere else. I would have felt mightily pissed off if my dh did that.

EffiePerine · 29/04/2008 21:27

DS still in with us and he's 18mo (small flat so no choice)

at 6 months he was still in our bed (waking and feeding LOTS at night) so I recking a) in moses basket and b) one night feed at 10 weeks is bloody good

Cappuccino · 29/04/2008 21:27

yes beanie it is

but it is fine

it is far easier than wandering round the house after them

these dh's aren't made of very strong stuff

example:

In your room - small child wakes. you are near so hear him/ her quickly. you lean over, pick up from cot, small child sleeps. Small child snuffles, you place weary hand on small child. Small child sleeps. You stay warm and drowsy

In other room - small child wakes. small child gets angry enough to make enough noise to wake you in another room. you get out of bed, go into room, sit bolt upright feeding baby. baby sleeps. you go back to bed. you begin to settle yourself back to sleep when baby wakes again. it is alone and it cries. you shuttle back and forth across the landing, getting colder and more awake

beansprout · 29/04/2008 21:28

But how does it help to have both of you awake?

Ds1 was in with us for 6 months, but then again, there was a SIDS death in dh's family, so we were pretty cautious.

Cappuccino · 29/04/2008 21:29

2.4 get a nightlight

you can make a bottle up in the dusk

MamaMaiasaura · 29/04/2008 21:29

Ds is 17 weeks here. Dp is happy out of bedroom as he works long hours and doesnt get disturbed at night. Also happy as am co-sleeping for now. Plan to move ds slowly into bedsde cot and then dp will come back to room. We are very happy with this and dp is supportive of baby in our room till at least 6 months. Ds1 slept in room for first year and is fine in his own room now and has been since being moved there.

beansprout · 29/04/2008 21:29

Oh totally agree Cap - am not for the move the baby option. Way too much hassle.

Cappuccino · 29/04/2008 21:29

why do both of you have to be awake?

unless you prod him with a stick he can sleep through the whole thing

beansprout · 29/04/2008 21:29

Dh actually snores through the whole thing.