to move DS into his own room so DH can move back into our room?

[2point4kids]

DS2 is 10 weeks old now. He is sleeping in a moses basket beside my bed.
DH has to get up early for work so has been sleeping downstairs in the spare room every week night so he doesnt get disturbed and be tired for work.
He generally sleeps up in our room at the weekend and I sleep downstairs to get a break!

DS is down to 1 night feed now but its probably gonna still be quite some time before he sleeps through..

I'm thinking of moving him into his own room soon so that DH and I can both sleep in the same room again...
I know you are supposed to keep them in with you till 6 months old but...It feels like we never see each other at the moment! he isnt home from work till about 8/8.30pm and I am usually in bed by 9pm (knackered!)

AIBU?

[TheFallenMadonna]

IME they quickly learn to sleep through it

[Cappuccino]

I tell you what it is fine being so magnanimous about letting your dh's off being awake in the night when you only have the one baby

when you have no 2 and you have to run around after a toddler all day you will start having serious conversations about who is working harder during the day

[beansprout]

Um, I have a 3.6 yo ds too. Does that count?

[posieflump]

definitely agree with Cappucino on that one!

[Poohbah]

I haven't slept in the same room as hubby very much since DS was born, over 2 years ago. Everyone is happy and gets as much sleep as possible.

Your baby's safety is paramount and they are only 10 weeks old. Babies are less at risk of cot death if they are in the same room as you.

DS was really sick one night aged 8 months and I really feel that he would have choked on his vomit had I not heard him as he was near to me.

Don't confuse being intimate with sleeping in the same room. You can still meet up for shags you know.

[Psychomum5]

my DH has never not slept in with us with a newborn in the house.....never!!!!

he was there with us from the start....was his baby too....and he is a builder who often works long distances away and needed to do 5am starts....and he still slept in his own bed.

all of ours have been in with us for at least 3mths, (and that was DD1 who moved out the earliest).....all the other were over 1yr before going into their own room.

in fact, DD2 slept in our bed for the first 6wks, and she was 5wks before DH realised......sooooooo

he is either a damn good sleeper, or I am too insistant on him being with us as a family

[posieflump]

when dd was tiny if though dh was at work fulltime if one of us was up in the night with the baby the other had to get up with toddler ds at 6ish
I used to feed dd at 4.30am, just get back to sleep by 5.30 and then ds would start 'ds get up' at 6am I tell you it damn near killed us all

[TheFallenMadonna]

Not at 10 weeks we didn't Poohbah!

[Cappuccino]

I think I meant 2.4 beansprout

she seems to think that one night feed in a 10 month old is a big deal



it must be the first one, or she had The Incredible Sleeping Baby the first time round

[beansprout]

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

hmm i have a Q, if you do move LO into own room but you get a breathing monitor (one that sounds an alarm if they are still for 20 seconds) does that make it better? genuine question as this was my plan, from a few months old?

[Cappuccino]

I'm with psychomum

[Cappuccino]

ten week old, sorry

[Cappuccino]

no it doesn't nobody

it is just a way to sell monitors

[Cappuccino]

also if it is one of those mats they roll off and the alarm goes off and your heart stops

so my friend found anyway

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

hmm see i hadnt thought of that, i had one recommended to me, one tht is underneath them, i just want anything to ease the anxiety, even after six months! are they really not worth it?

[beansprout]

They sleep with you not because you can hear them breathing, (although it can be reassuring just to check) but as being with you actually helps to regulate their breathing.

[Cappuccino]

the only way you can ease the anxiety is not to have kids

sorry

[Psychomum5]

oh. I had one of those breathing monitors for DC5 (yup....t'was the fifth one that I panicked over the most!!!)

Oh, and he was still in our room then too!!!!.

well......it did give me peace of mind in one way as before I used to wake often just to ensure baby was still breathing, but then, I am panicking with mine in general thro illness etc!! I could sleep, I felt more cofident.

BUT

it will go off and add many grey hairs and wrinkle once the start to move, so in that sense, it is counter productive.

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

lol well thats direct and not an option!!! have read up on breathing regulation and i dont mind 6 months in our room neither will dp, was just wondering

[georgiemama]

DH is very unreconstructed male, not very new man at all (wasn't even at the birth) but DS slept in our room, in a moses basket and then in his cot, until he was six months old. DH didn't want him to move out even then, he liked him being there!

DH often slept through night feeds/nappy changes, which I had no problem with, but equally when DS would sometimes get colicky and grouhy DH would march up and down the hall with him, or fall asleep with DS on his chest (which they both loved).

Really, wussy males seem to abound - its not like you're demanding they see to the baby.

[Flibbertyjibbet]

My dp slept in another room for a couple of weeks after ds2 was born - and it was my idea!

He didn't need to be woken up in the night, not like he could have given baby a feed or anything. The better nights sleep he got, the better he could look after me while I was knackered and frazzled.

And tbh I quite enjoyed being able to roll about wherever I wanted without my very tall dp taking up far too much of the bed for a change.

[meep]

One of the reasons they say to keep your baby with you in the same room is that the baby regulates his/her own breathing by hearing you and this is meant reduce the risk of cot death.

I haven't read any of the research on this, but have to say that once I had heard this there was no way that dd was moving into her own room unril 6 months.

In the end she moved to her own room at 8mo - we were all quite happy sleeping in the same room and it did make night wakenings less of a stress as I could just reach through the bars of her cot and rub her tummy till she settled.

I think you have to do what you feel comfortable with. Even though dh and I shared the same bed we did still seem to sleep in shifts during those early weeks!

[halogen]

I think it seems pretty unreasonable of your husband not to be prepared to cope with one night waking, especially with such a tiny baby. If he's anything like the majority of husbands I hear about he'll soon be able to sleep through the entire thing without a murmur. Our daughter was in with us until 7 months. She woke once or twice a night for most of this time. My partner works pretty hard, too, in a job which involves quite a lot of hard physical work, leaves the house at 9 and doesn't usually get home until 11pm but he never once complained or suggested that he should sleep elsewhere and thank god he didn't. I would have been really upset. Why should anyone have to choose between what's best for their baby and having their husband close by where he belongs? Both is best.

[mumeeee]

Why can't your DH and the baby both sleep in your room? But you are not being unreasonable to move the baby to his own room.