Or is this Santa post unreasonable?

[BusySyllabub]

The author of gentle parenting books Sarah Ockwell Smith posted on Instagram that it’s best to never pretend that Santa is real.

I did some research on this just to be sure and discovered research that indicated that very few children are adversely affected by the Santa myth.

AIBU to think that we are overthinking everything, taking the magic out of childhood, and that educators are now posting nonsense for clicks and engagement?

But its all lies according to you.
Doesnt matter how rare.

Though i think most of your arguments are really comparable to not saying anything about santa.

You're funny.

You made a point where it was insinuated there was a potential threat if the truth was told. I simply stated that I'm a case like that then it is protecting the person.

Lying about fairy tales isn't comparable no.

I know someone who was the youngest child in her family by some years, and when she found out, felt that the whole family had colluded in lying to her. She continues to have trust issues with her family forty years later, not just because of this, but certainly not helped by it.

So I would definitely avoid the line of older siblings being told not to tell younger ones.

I think it depends on the intentions.

Children by their nature are imaginative, they want to make believe! Just the other day a pupil in my class was telling me how when he went to Buckingham Palace and actually King Charles came out to talk to him and asked him to be king when he turns 12. You may be horrified to learn, I didn't tell him it was wrong to lie! I asked him of he would remember me when he is king and send a bar of gold.

Considering there has never been any studies or research into trauma from the 'santa lie' suggests that generations of children have actually been unscathed. And the fact that the huge majority of them do it for their own children indicates it was actually a very happy part of their childhood.

Is she saying people should actively tell kids he isn't real or just to not say one way or the other. It's hard to tell from the screenshot.

Most people don't actively tell their kids that the characters in storybooks are or aren't real, or the ones on shows and TV. I view Santa and similar the same way. The kids will decide what is magical for them far more than we adults can.

My kids went to see Thomas the Tank Engine when they were little, rode in the carriages, they were delighted, I thought it was magical - I never said he was real, never asked to explain it or have any talk on it.

We don't do Christmas, so I told my kids that Father Christmas was part of the other people's festive fun, and we don't try to ruin others fun or be mean about their holidays by saying things like it's just a story (or for one of my kids, go on about how much he hated the 'Christmas costume' and how too many people were wearing it in town when there is only meant to be one FC) just like we wouldn't want them to do it to us.

We did do tooth pixies. I did check when they were about 10 or so that they knew it was a game because they each talked like it was real to their younger siblings/kids, even coming up with strange explanations and going on about 'what would mum and dad want with our teeth?' in a way they didn't for books or shows, but they all knew & found my asking funny - more than one reminded me that that had read and watched The Hogfather. Not sure why it was tooth pixies caught their imaginations so much, but for them it was far more magical than I ever could have done intentionally.

😂

You are entitled to your opinion. Have a good day, Ms M. Superiority.

You want to apply intention as the scale to lying?

You described a child using their imagination. Not a social conspiracy that Santa appears to be. Hardly comparable.

And yes I would have reflected back, w query really that truly happened? To indicate that it was obviously a tall tale

How otherwise are you being inclusive to children who hold literal understanding due to ASD?

I am glad you find the truth funny 🧐

How delightful

So a 6 year old who knows the truth about Santa is meant to say what exactly when asked by a 6 year who believes "What do you want from Father Christmas?"

We praise children for being clear and truthful then expect them to execute mental gymnastics because someone's mum decided to perpetuate a patriarchal lie that rewards a magical man for the work of, let's face it, mostly mum.

It just shows how so much of the world is half-asleep and numbed by "tradition".

Terry Pratchett had it right: we need to learn to accept the little lies to believe the big ones. Truth. Justice. That sort of thing.

Anyone who has seen the joy on a child's face when they get up on Christmas morning and think that Santa has been, eaten whatever was left out, and brought presents for them, couldn't deny them the pleasure of this harmless custom. From what I've read on here, the parents say they don't want to 'lie' about Santa, it's all about them and how they feel. Not about giving their children an extra bit of happiness.

And before anyone tries to be witty, I know I'm not fun at parties. I'm not trying to be.

I said I found YOU funny.
You're aware that twisting words is dishonest, right?

I have news for you. Children waking up and seeing the surprises I bought them is also a source of joy.

"From what I've read on here, the parents say they don't want to 'lie' about Santa, it's all about them and how they feel. Not about giving their children an extra bit of happiness."

The hypocrisy of the statement above is hilarious. Because the issue is the parents lying and insisted the rest of us gets on board for their own feelings!

I didn't twist your words my dear at all.

I think there is a scale yes. I don't think all lies are morally wrong. I believe there is a the grey area and there is nothing you can say that will change my mind.

Also in my experience, lots of autistic children can believe in Santa and make believe stories for longer than their peers.

But the fact you are making up a child to justify being unnecessarily cruel to another explains a lot.

So there is truth, lies and in-between and that's what you teach children?

Given you claim to be an educational professional your capacity to comprehend is surprisingly lacking.

I specifically mentioned a child who had literal understanding. I did not reference all children with ASD. I did so because not all children with ASD are the same.

I specifically went on to state a child with literal understanding. There are many and I again question if you are happy that a child now has extra work to figure out your 'grey areas' ?

How is questioning your inclusion approach cruel ? So you don't do inclusive education?

@Nolegusta Poor thing. You stole that magical Christmas feeling from him 😥

The fact that you are now trying to insult my professional capability also explains a lot!

I shared a real experience with a child playing male believe and you inserted a fictional child with ASD to justify being cruel to him.

The fact that all children are not the same, is the grey area! I taught year 6 last year and the only child that still believed in Santa was a child with ASD. The whole class played along for his benefit. They clearly had a greater maturity than some adults do.

You will find many, many studies about the importance of make believe, role play and imagination for a childs development. Shutting that down is cruel.

You can make whatever assumptions you want about my professional capability. They won't get to me, but I do think it's VERY telling you are trying to insult me in such a way.

We do exactly the same!

Don't be ridiculous.

I believed in him till I was secondary age although my parents never went to particular lengths. Just gullible I guess. I don't feel betrayed but once I found out all the magic had gone. I do appreciate some of the fun things my parents did in the spirit of FC.

My happy childhood memories are about seeing loved ones, going to church, writing Christmas cards and walking out to post them with my mum, choral Christmas music, making mince pies, school plays and concerts, school crafts, church parties.

The actual presents were exciting as a young child but that waned by the time I stopped believing.

I think too much emphasis on Santa makes it very materialistic and could result in the disappointment many adults feel about Christmas.

Santa is part of my tradition with my kids but I don't expect them to actually believe in it for long, the 5 year old is questioning already.

You WANT your children to know the presents are from you. As I said, all about you.

The fact you are deflecting with a cry of cruelty when I ask about how you would approach the challenge of balance does make me question you.

I queried your approach to inclusion in a set scenario, you deem that insulting, interesting. The answer I imagine would blow open your grey area.

As all guidance to educators in my country is to always ensure the literal thinker are provided reassurance and clarity.Thus going against your grey area theory.

Conflating imagination and play with a societal expectations of a universal lie is not accurate. And not an appropriate comparison.

A child imagination engagement is at that level it includes plot holes and serves a purpose in development.The children are aware of their imagination and it changes as they develop more critical analysis skills.