Keep the magic or he should grow up now

[Glitterfish]

My DS is a lovely chatting outgoing boy but he is very innocent. He has just started secondary this year and seems to be settling in very well.

However in the last week he started mentioning Santa and asking where Elfie is. Now I thought he knew last year as he was talking about cost of his gift in advance and whether he should ask Santa or not and so assumed it was all over in terms of Santa but he was just keeping up a pretence (as kids do). He hasn't said much about Santa this year - one or 2 passing references but he was getting a bit upset yesterday and today that Elfie hadn't made an appearance yet.

What do I do?
YABU: Tell him now (and potentially ruin the magic of Christmas)
YANBU: Wait till after Christmas (although he may potentially mention something in school and face ridicule)

PS. We do have a very nice Elfie (wooden with handmade clothes so I don't mind it around :).

I think the conflation of ‘Christmas magic’ with ‘belief in the actual existence of Father Christmas’ is

a) false - much magic can be created, over many more years, by joyful play-acting of a beloved cultural story and

b) relatively modern, and increasing in prevalence. When I started primary teaching, it was entirely possible to teach a lesson on St Nicholas and the link to the story of Father Christmas. Or to teach the ReadWritePerform unit in which KS1 children write letters to Father Christmas and upper KS2 children reply to each child in role as Santa. I would hesitate to do either now, as so many parents work so hard to push the ‘faith / belief / truth’ narrative for their children.

I agree that it the conflation of 'Xmas magic' and 'belief' is far more prevalent now than it has been in the past.

I have 2 DCs at university, and a 15 year old.

None of them have EVER questioned whether Santa is real or not.

They're not stupid, and I'm 99% sure they know, but while they continue to never ask/say anything, I most certainly won't be saying anything either!

Appreciation of and engagement with an excellent story / myth, well told, is - as the popularity of Disney films of all kinds attests - a great pleasure all of itself. Appreciating Raymond Briggs’ Father Christmas does not require belief in his actual existence.

I do think that the total absence of any religious meaning in the cultural midwinter festival of Christmas has to an extent reinforced the (subconscious) need for ‘alternative belief’.

Like the Christians hijacked /appropriated existing midwinter festivals and traditions for their own new festival, modern secular consumers have sort of hijacked the ‘belief’ and attached it to Father Christmas.

So you all do the traditions etc, knowing that it's just a lovely pretend story and part of a wider tradition, which is fantastic.

To me (and I would imagine to most other people) those traditions and stories are a big part of what makes Xmas special, even though I know the stories are just pretend.

Exactly. The situation I personally find bizarre is where families drop all Christmas activities and traditions (other than a gift frenzy and a big meal) the moment their child ‘doesn’t believe’.

I was amused that the church cannily grabbed winter and spring celebration to explain Jesus birthday, death and resurrection.

OP are you glad you asked? 🤣

There are clearly a wide range of views on this topic so I would suggest go with your gut, do it with love, and you can’t go far wrong ☺️

Exactly, love trumps all.

To be fair, that was Constantine, and the Romans had form for appropriating and absorbing local religions and customs. That’s one of the things that made them so successful as an imperial power.

I wonder how forcefully they had to make their point?

Exactly. The situation I personally find bizarre is where families drop all Christmas activities and traditions (other than a gift frenzy and a big meal) the moment their child ‘doesn’t believe’.

I agree. We never made belief in Santa Claus a central part of our celebrations, so all of our traditions just continued as our children got older.

I plan to have a chat with my year 6 before she goes in to year 7.
Whether she knows the truth or not, I will still do a stocking etc for her.
We do Elf on the shelf here, and as she has a younger sister we'll still be doing it for a few more years yet - so she'll have the option of helping me create magic, or continuing to be surprised in the morning.
To be honest, I don't think she does still believe, and if she came to me tonight and asked me outright I would tell her the truth, no problem. But there's a part of me that dreads telling her, just in case.

I would never send her in to year 7 without clearing things up though.

I’m not saying they didn’t invade and conquer other places. But when they occupied, they absorbed local customs.

It's breathtakingly offensive to say that struggling to differentiate fact from fiction is a symptom of autism? OK. Clearly facts are unwelcome on this thread!

Noone wanted that gift! I would be really ashamed if that were me.

Ashamed of something you did at age 4?

Santa is very far removed from any tie to any saint. It would be different if I encouraged the use of the term st Nicholas or whatever, but the fat old man dressed in red, living with elves in the north pole, driving sled pulled by reindeer is not a Christian saint! He only has gift giving in common, also shared by easter bunny, the Reyes Magos, La Befana etc.

I celebrate pagan festivals, but am under no illusion that the majority people celebrating Halloween are not doing so as any kind of spiritual exercise.

Well we never had a big talk - DD is 13 and we all still keep the pretence of Father Christmas!! She doesn't believe but she'd never admit it 😂
I have drawn the line at elf on the fucking shelf this year though. That bastard has had me leaping out of bed in the wee small hours after forgetting to move it far too many times. 😂

Somewhat like the tooth fairy 🤭

Yep. Spoiling people's Christmas is nothing to be proud of. It would be one of those hideous moments I would look back on and cringe. I definitely would not be proud of it, or have it as a favourite memory.

I guess not everyone thinks that not believing in Santa "spoils Christmas"

Definitely @justasking111 😂 child figured that one out a long time ago I think but wasn't giving up a good source of income - her last 8 teeth had to be taken out in one go at the dentist!!!! That was expensive 😂

Not mine, all the way to 11 (my eldest, although i have doubts), my youngest (8) couldn't believe more!