Keep the magic or he should grow up now

[Glitterfish]

My DS is a lovely chatting outgoing boy but he is very innocent. He has just started secondary this year and seems to be settling in very well.

However in the last week he started mentioning Santa and asking where Elfie is. Now I thought he knew last year as he was talking about cost of his gift in advance and whether he should ask Santa or not and so assumed it was all over in terms of Santa but he was just keeping up a pretence (as kids do). He hasn't said much about Santa this year - one or 2 passing references but he was getting a bit upset yesterday and today that Elfie hadn't made an appearance yet.

What do I do?
YABU: Tell him now (and potentially ruin the magic of Christmas)
YANBU: Wait till after Christmas (although he may potentially mention something in school and face ridicule)

PS. We do have a very nice Elfie (wooden with handmade clothes so I don't mind it around :).

"The English tradition of personifying Christmas dates back to the 15th century. In the medieval period, the pagan Saxons honored the Frost or Winter King, who was associated with Odin. As Christianity became more dominant, this figure became associated with Christmas. In the 1400s, he was known as Sir Christmas, and later as Captain Christmas."

He then merged with the Dutch Sinterklaas and now Santa and Father Christmas have become interchangeable in our minds.

Btw, it is a myth that Coca Cola invented the red robes, although at one point he was sometimes in green and sometimes in red.

I agree with this. And I think that, in fact, it stimulates imagination in hopefully a positive way to do "make believe," knowing that you are essentially acting a out a play.

Imagine how heartbroken he would be if someone started to bully him cause he thought santa was real. He'd be upset. This is better coming from the parents.

Yeah, if it need be said, there’s cheer and charm and sense of place and connection to shared pretenses like Father Christmas, and enjoying all those things doesn’t demand maintaining a literal belief in myth.

The daughter isn’t old enough to get it yet, but I can’t wait to introduce her to the Lord of Misrule tradition in a few years’ time.

But Haddon Sublime did shape his image as a jolly fat man in Coca Cola advertising.

Sundblom

Another one thinking he surely doesn't actually 'believe' and just wants your Christmas traditions! You could try involving him in it, take turns to set up the elf? I began getting my mum stockings from about 6 or 7 when I realised she was doing mine (I remember finding it strange before then that she was left out when she'd been much nicer than my brother) But both our stockings were officially from Santa until I moved out

This is how my parents did it, and I never felt that I missed out, or that Xmas wasn't special.

When I hear about kids questioning whether Santa is real and the parent really trying to convince the child that he is, and saying that you don't get presents if you don't fully believe, I do start to wonder who exactly the whole pretence is for.

All these naysayers. Well at the cinema I've seen Wicked, Moana is on this month. Grandchildren have loved both. I'm sure there's parents out there explaining that there's no such place as OZ, and Te Fiti, Maui, Moana are an invention. As for Willie Wonka, well that's beyond the pale.

My response to misquote Charles Dickens is "Bah humbug" to these misguided sanctimonious realists. And "God bless you one and all". To the magic makers. 💖🎅🌟

I agree!

I'm also a bit surprised that that poster thinks going to a private school means a child won't be bullied. Independent schools can be brutal for bullying.

I think he probably knows. I never had that conversation with my Mum as I worried my stocking would stop!
He probably just enjoys the traditions rather than believes in them anymore. I wouldn't say anything.
My DS is Year 8 and I haven't said anything to him, I know he knows.

Since when do kids believe everything they see in a film? Do you really give them that little credit for intelligence?

I loved watching the Little Mermaid as a young kid, but I never believed that it was real. And I certainly didn't need to believe it in order to enjoy the film. The same went for Oz, Dumbo, Willy Wonka, Pinocchio etc...

Especially the small homely ones in my experience. May the odds be ever in PP's daughter's favour...

Then you should have removed your child from that school.

I don't have a child. 🤷‍♀️

But I know that private schools are not immune from bullying. Paying money is not a magic bullet.

(That was a very strange response btw - surely anyone with sense knows that bullying can happen in any kind of school?)

The idea that someone can only enjoy and get pleasure from something (Santa, elves, fantasy films etc.) if they 100% believe that it is real is batshit crazy.

Everyone can enjoy fiction and fantasy while knowing full well that's it's not real life. As a PP said - children figure this out when they are very young.

The autistic insinuation is breathtaking in it offensiveness

Wicked is a PG, and the guidance for PG films talks about them being suitable for children of 8 and upwards. It would be very surprising if an 8+ year old child didn't yet understand that fantasy films are not true, and that the events depicted didn't actually happen in real life.

You don't have children so... I don't expect you to understand.

Ah yes, of course. Not having children obviously means that I've never met one and don't know any 🙄

Did you believe that the Wizard of Oz was fully real when you were 8 years old? That the cowardly lion was a real lion, and the tin man really made out of tin? Were you devastated when your parents broke the news to you that it wasn't real?

Children are very good at (and should do lots of) imaginative play. But that doesn't mean they believe it's real. They can immerse themselves in, and get enjoyment from fantasy worlds while fully knowing that it's only pretend.

Because no one who doesn't have children can possibly understand them? 🙄

As I’m pretty sure you also understand, conflating myth with fiction that is presented as fiction is a specious comparison. Have a bit of intellectual respect.

Apologies @Glitterfish for the derailment of your sweet thread

I've always thought this was the best (if slightly one-sided!) summary of the Wizard of Oz.

Thankfully we all know it isn't real, because it would be horrifying if it was. 😂