I just found my Christmas present and he’s messed up

[ChristmasCinchNotGrinch]

Ok, so I’m grateful I’m getting a present but I’ll have to say that my DH is pretty crap at gifts. I think he’s just lazy. He told me there’s no shops near his office and he wouldn’t know what to get me. Well a few years back I went to his office in London to meet him and I literally walked past some of the best shops in the country.

Anyway, he’s bought me some sports gear off the internet. That’s great as I do a lot of fitness. However I’ve just found the bag. I went into a cupboard and it was on a shelf and I looked.

He’s bought me a jacket and a pair of running leggings in XL and I’m a M. I thought maybe this is an American size or other so I tried them on. They’re 3 sizes too big.

The receipt says there are 30 days to return and that takes it to 30 Dec.

I’m a bit disappointed that yet again I’ve got a useless present, but more practically I don’t want to be outside the return period.

Should I tell him I found them and they’re too big (YANBU) or suck it up, (YABU) smile and send it back as soon as the post office opens after Christmas…….and swap it for something I really want from that shop ;)

Would the leggings look like your size to a man @ChristmasCinchNotGrinch? He may not realise how much they stretch.

I’ve bought leggings myself online and thought I’d never get in them just from looking at them.

I'm just not a fan of gifts, for exactly this reason. I genuinely don't see the point of a surprise, rather than something you get to choose for yourself.

Sadly, DH values the surprise above everything and genuinely would rather have decades of tries which completely miss the target for the occasional glorious success which lights up the whole world for him.

I much much prefer getting to choose. We try and compromise but ... what middle ground is there? I give him a list for me and spend ages agonising about what he might like.

Oh, wait ....

Yeah, buy him an xs jockstrap, ride it out until Christmas day and if it doesn't fit him say " I'm sorry that's the size I envisioned you"

"We both must make more effort to know one another's sizes"

I think you can say you've accidentally found them and you're sure they're not for you as the they're the wrong size, but you're checking just in case.

I can’t believe my comment got removed. Woke gone mad

They might delete the comment where I call myself fat in case I offend myself.

We gave up the surprise gifts years ago, we're not eight years old and frankly it's just not worth it.

I am brilliant at present buying (obviously) but DH just isn't. I email a web link and he adds a small surprise gift too.

Much better to have the discussion now, now reason you can't be civilised about it. He might be relieved!

Yes - get him a Neom voucher. At least your house will smell beautiful!

You have time to return them after Christmas, so I would do that.

I'd be happy for any gift. I wouldn't start a thread moaning about what gift I received and waste people's time.

Men can be so useless can’t they?. One year I really wanted a dressing gown. Sent husband the links etc. I think he shopped Christmas Eve and the only size left was 16 so I got that. (I am a size 10). I was so disappointed. Didn’t want to make a big deal of it and spoil Christmas Day. I really feel your pain.

I think after 30 years you can either accept crap presents each year or you can take charge and use a gift app- like Giftly- which links directly to the presents you do want and send it to him. He will never ever at this stage in life magically turn into a gift-god.

Be careful how you handle this . Very similar happened to me about 4 years ago and DH got me clothes that were 2 sizes two big ( from a shop that already comes up big) and an XXL top. When I would be a M.
I did not handle it with any good Grace at all. Was very disappointed. I had been away with the DC for 4 nights so he had plenty of time to shop properly.
He said my reaction meant he would not be buying me presents in the future. And he hasn’t.
( he is a very good husband apart from this so no need to Ltb but it’s still annoying )

Yes! Maybe for a book shop, Monica Vidner, Oliver Bonas, Neom, Hotel Chocolat, Tiffany’s...

I think you are better off without his gifts.

It's been deleted and I missed it, so can you have another go. I need some humour.

What! He bought you XXL top, when you’re a medium, because you let him know you were disappointed, he told you he won’t buy you a present ever again! What a complete overreaction from him, how is this a good husband, if this is the way he reacts.

Dh once got me pants that were two sizes too big. I said to him "um, thanks but these are the wrong size." He said "sorry, is it the next size up?" 🤣

Totally naïve about ladies sizing. He thought it was a waist inch measurement like men's... We had been married for about 15 years at that point. He now takes one of the girls with him if he is buying me clothes.

A prank is called for here. Clearly you need to buy him some in your size and give them to him. Yours will be too big and his will be too small and you can offer to swop 😂😂😂

Or wildly accuse him of having an affair with a larger woman 😂😂. You could actually
throw them in his face under that scenario 😂

See, I question this statement:
“Ok, so I’m grateful I’m getting a present …”

Why should you be grateful for some ill thought piece of crap? I’ve never understood it, although it seems oft repeated on MN so maybe it’s a middle class thing? If someone wrapped up a dog turd in a pretty bow would you have to be grateful just because it’s technically a ‘present’?

No. Don’t settle for shit off lazy men.

I would bluntly tell him to return them and to do better. No excuses.

@Screamingabdabz 😂 Exactly.

An XL in gym wear, esp expensive stuff, is like a 14, it's not big.

Can't believe how many men are buying their partners clothes, if mine tried it I'd get him sectioned. Lord only knows what I'd be wearing, it would be like one of those tiktoks where people buy each other the worst outfit they can find in a charity shop.

All the people saying "oh he's useless - how can he not know your size" - half the time I don't even know what size I am. It varies so much from shop to shop. Even in the SAME shop or they label different items in different ways.
Some of Primark's stuff is 10,12,14,16 etc. Some is S, M, L, XL, XXL etc. Some is 10-12, 14-16, 18-20 etc.
I frequently buy what I think is the right size but them find that actually a Primark Large is completely different to a M+S Large.
I was looking at clothes online and following a size chart. It didn't seem to be making sense - but then I realised it was the American sizes which are completely different.
Give the guy a break. Buying the wrong size doesn't mean he is completely useless.

How can he think you’re an XL if you’re a medium? I’d just tell him. He’s not worried about offending you by putting so little effort in and buying you clothes that are far too big, so why should you have to worry about offending him. Fuck that.