I just found my Christmas present and he’s messed up

[ChristmasCinchNotGrinch]

Ok, so I’m grateful I’m getting a present but I’ll have to say that my DH is pretty crap at gifts. I think he’s just lazy. He told me there’s no shops near his office and he wouldn’t know what to get me. Well a few years back I went to his office in London to meet him and I literally walked past some of the best shops in the country.

Anyway, he’s bought me some sports gear off the internet. That’s great as I do a lot of fitness. However I’ve just found the bag. I went into a cupboard and it was on a shelf and I looked.

He’s bought me a jacket and a pair of running leggings in XL and I’m a M. I thought maybe this is an American size or other so I tried them on. They’re 3 sizes too big.

The receipt says there are 30 days to return and that takes it to 30 Dec.

I’m a bit disappointed that yet again I’ve got a useless present, but more practically I don’t want to be outside the return period.

Should I tell him I found them and they’re too big (YANBU) or suck it up, (YABU) smile and send it back as soon as the post office opens after Christmas…….and swap it for something I really want from that shop ;)

They are defo for me. I am 100% sure. They are very specific to my training.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings as last year he got upset with me about what he bought. He really doesn’t listen. I wanted to go see a show and hinted massively about it. I then unwrapped a present which, I shit you not, looked like the T shirt for the group. I thought he’d bought me tickets plus got a T shirt to boot. It then unfolded that it was a silky scarf ( never ever worn one) with writing on it, and the way it had been folded looked like the letters of the group. I started saying OMG, it’s a T shirt and tickets to Xxxxx, and it wasn’t. He got upset that I didn’t like the present.

True story.

He's crap at presents? Bet he wasn't when courting you.

Bingo

Swap it now, he won't look in the bag until Christmas eve

Sounds as if he thinks you have a big arse, while really the jokes on him, because he IS a big arse

This is hilarious. (Sorry OP!) You’d think if he was really that hurt to realise how crap his gift giving was last year, he’d try a bit harder this year though.

Hopefully he hasn’t bought me a Slimming World subscription to go with it instead of a box of chocolates.

OK, so the real issue isn't the presents - it's the difference in presents since you were dating early days?

I share your hope.

For online purchased the return is usually from when you register it - so you have up to the 30th December to go online to say you want a return/exchange. Then you usually have a couple of weeks to actually get it back to them. Maybe double check on the website. But I'd just wait for the 'surprise' myself.

Tell him; and then just return it for what you want. Even if you give it to him to wrap up for Christmas Day.
As someone else with a wonderful husband who happens to be shit at purchasing gifts (who has similar parents to your husband), I’ve learnt to keep a list in my phone notes that I compile over a few months of things I want, including links and sizes then send it to him prior to birthday or Christmas and he’ll buy me something off the list. It’s still a surprise as I don’t know what I’ll get from the list but I’m never disappointed 😊

He bought you extra large clothes?
I’d buy him extra small condoms.

You came across the gift accidentally as he'd not hidden it well, so you're well within your rights to say you found it and it's the wrong size. If he's returning it anyway, tell him what you'd prefer, or at least, which shop near his workplace he should go to and what size you need.
Sorry he's shit at presents.

I’m not upset with his presents really. He’s got other very generous traits. I’m glad I found them and tried them on. I was massively disappointed when I saw them, but I’m over it now. I would’ve looked really disappointed if I opened them in front of him. If I go the return after Xmas route, I know now to go “wow, these are so great”.

I’ve been more organised in recent years. I need to tell him what I want. To be fair to him, he’s not tight. Whenever I say something like, I want a bottle of this perfume, he’ll buy it and also get the body lotion, hand lotion etc.

I do think my DH is on the spectrum.

You didn't offend me, your comment made me laugh, so thank you for that. I'm also a big fat heifer 🐄😄

I would find something that you really want in one of the lovely shops that he passes every day and then tell him exactly what to buy you .
Follow that up with “ I’m going to treat myself to some new running gear after Xmas ( in a size medium) so I won’t need you to get me anything along those lines !! “
Hopefully he’ll get the hint and return the naff gift for the thing you want .
Alternatively you could present him with the bag of oversized sports gear and accuse him of having an affair ( as clearly the items aren’t meant for you 😂)
Fortunately I don’t have that issue , my husband buys me the same thing every - single - year . I just smile, enthuse over it and then go and treat myself in the sales .

😅😅

I used to do all the shopping for my inlaws too, really thoughtful stuff that they loved. However they don’t like me and my DH said the same thing as yours, so for my mil’s big birthday she got a generic birthday card with cash. All the lovely mothers, Father’s Day cards, gifts/flowers and birthday/Christmas gifts are at an end. Only themselves to thank for that.

That's not a very nice way of describing someone who wears XL gym wear

I was quoting someone else. I am not a tiny person, in fact I am a bit fat.

YANBU he should know exactly what you like and what size you are. This is why I only give money to people because I can’t go wrong with that the only person who gets presents is my DH because I know exactly what he likes and what size he is just like he knows exactly what I like and what size I am. You need to tell him so that he can either return it and get the right size or give you the receipt so that you can get yourself something in the right size.

And? You said it. It doesn't matter what size you are it doesn't give you carte blanche to go round calling XL sized women names

Take them to a charity shop as a larger sized lady will love them.

Also if you have any luxury brands (maybe ask him for Prada) as with Vinted & Depop, I'm seeing less of the better brands in Charity shops, than there used to be... 10 years ago I picked up a lovely black Dior suit for a song...

Remember that Christmas is about joy of giving.

Why not just say "I found the extra large leggings in the Christmas cupboard; who is the extra large woman in your life that you're buying leggings for?"

You need to have a discussion with him that he pays so little attention to you that he thinks you're an XL when you're M.

This isn't about size, it's about him not even looking at you, or the tags on your clothes, to recognise what might fit.

Explain that the amount of effort he puts into gift buying directly correlates with how happy the recipient is to receive it.

Usually, zero effort equals zero happiness.

If he wants to make you happy he actually needs to try.

I didn’t write the comment. I quoted it.

And the person that wrote it also called herself a heffer as she’s an XL.