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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be VERY concerned about unattended 7 year olds?!

329 replies

Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:36

I am actually gobsmacked. For once in my life.

I have just been reading another thread and a couple of people have said that they allow their 7 year olds to walk to school on their own WITHOUT making sure that they go in the gates.

HELLO?!!!

DD is 8. There is NO WAY on this earth would I allow her to walk to school on her own!

Worst case scenario:

DD walks to school by herself. I don't see her go in. Some arsehole snatches her. I don't know about it until AFTER school, because the school don't ring me to say she hasn't arrived. Cue police/newspapers/radio/manhunt.

I feel very strongly about this! It's madness!

Fair enough, allow them to walk HOME from school (then you KNOW that they have arrived!), but PLEASE think about what you are doing!

OP posts:
mymama · 30/04/2008 12:33

Haven't read whole thread.

The age of dc walking to school alone/staying home alone always seems to fire up.

Queensland Police in Australia have ended the debate here. A law has just been introduced that a child under the age of 11 must not be left alone.

Penalty is up to 3 years imprisonment

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 30/04/2008 12:36

Mymamma - sounds reasonable to me!

OP posts:
prettybird · 30/04/2008 12:42

It's not that black and white mymama:

"PARENTS who abandon their children while they gamble, go to the pub, shop or even work face three years in jail under a controversial new law set to go before State Parliament this month.

The law will apply to parents of children aged 11 years and under.

Police will decide what is an "unreasonable amount of time" that children have been left unattended ? whether it be at home, in a hotel room, a car or on the street ? before charging parents. "

The law being proposed (I googled it and coul;dn't see if it was actaully passed yet, but as it was only going bfore the Cabinet on 14 April, I doubt it) is to deal with people who "leave them in a vehicle or at home for extended periods while they gamble, work, shop or conduct other activities,"

Article Here

prettybird · 30/04/2008 12:46

Sorry - pressed "post" before I meant to.

So it still doesn't deal with the issue of letting kids walk to school - or leavning a on older kid for a short perios of time.

Interestingly, the official Queensland Governemtn advice site is far more pragmatic and talks about the importanc eof knowing your child and giving them approproaite short periods of independence as a learning process - but it makes no reference to specific ages. here

JumbleJack · 30/04/2008 14:21

SmugColditz My 14-year-old was snatched on her way home from school. I didn't find it funny

FAQ · 30/04/2008 15:18

ok just for Iamthedoctor about to leave to get him

NOW

FAQ · 30/04/2008 15:20

back

FAQ · 30/04/2008 15:21
  • and I didn't leave straight away as I'd lost my key - and stopped to talk to a mum on the way back !
jofeb04 · 30/04/2008 15:24

lol FAQ.

duchesse · 30/04/2008 15:30

If the child's school had a list of who arrives by which means of transport, which is not uncommon, I would be very surprised if they did not ring very quickly should a walking one fail to turn up and there is no corresponding parental phone call.

I think YABU. You do not know the children, school or route concerned. You cannot extrapolate from your situation to those of others. There are plenty of schools around here where a 5 yr old could walk to school unaccompanied, and have done for centuries.

bogwobbit · 30/04/2008 15:45

I have only 'skim-read' this thread but yes, I think the OP is being unreasonable. Fair enough don't let your 8 year old walk to school but please don't judge others in the way you have.
My ds has walked to school on his own to and from his childminders since he was 6. Admittedly we (and the childminder) live very close to the school and there is a lollipop man to help him cross the road and lots of other children walk, but his older sisters also walked a 5 - 10 minute walk from the age of 7.
Yes, there are cases of children being abducted on their way to school. In fact there was one a couple of years in Livingston in Scotland, and very sad it was too but there are also cases of planes being blown out of the sky and destroying houses below them and of people choking to death on fish bones. All of them are very rare though and shouldn't stop people living their lives because of fear of them happening.
Look at your child, look at your area, weigh up the risks and if you think it's appopriate whether your child is 7 or 14 or whatever let them do it after you have prepared them for it.
As for not knowing whether your child has arrived safely or not at school, I can understand that worry. My understanding is that most schools now have a system in place to notify parents if their child hasn't turned up within an hour or so of school starting. I know we certainly have a system at ds's school because when he was off sick recently, I forgot to phone up to tell them and I got a call from the School Secretary at 9:20 asking where he was.

MehgaLegs · 30/04/2008 15:46

Blimey FAQ - you are close.

SmugColditz · 30/04/2008 16:03

My 14 year old mate died from choking on a crumpet.

I still serve crumpets.

Jennylee · 30/04/2008 16:04

round here there is a little P1 who walks to school himself and is not across from the school it is is couple of sreets/crossings and no way of knowing if he got there, I think that is a bit much, but if you live on the same street as the school I don't see the problem and here the school call you if your kid has not arrived and you have not called the school to explain reason for absence by 9.15. But the op sounds a bit silly, the woman lives right near the school for goodness sake.

Jennylee · 30/04/2008 16:06

streets even

Original poster
Iamthedoctor · 30/04/2008 16:08

How many times have I said that a; I didn't realise that she was that close, and b; it wasn't meant as a personal attack?

FAQ, I am amazed!

OP posts:
pagwatch · 30/04/2008 16:22

FAQ - how often are you late
DS1 is five minutes from the door of his school and he is often the last to arrive .
But doesn't FAQ's situation show that blanket rules are very rarely sensible?
I really wish we would respect other caring parent's decisions more.
On a Friday my DS1 walks his sister ( aged 5) to her school before walking back to his. A couple of the parentrs were until they met him - and then they asked when I will let him babysit !But from the way DD is I think i will have her in reins soon .

Children vary enormously - there are cghildren in this country acting as carers for goodness sake. We should be a little less dogmatic.

silvercrown · 30/04/2008 16:32

A few years ago I had watched my daughter go into the school but I was called at about 10.30am to say she wasn't in school - I thought that was way too late to raise the alarm and I completely freaked out as I know she went in but had visions of her hiding and then leaving the school by herself - they double checked and she was there - god knows why she was missed off the register. That was a frantic few minutes whilst I waited for them to check again..

WilyWombat · 30/04/2008 17:07

"in the UK the school is supposed to phone home/contact parents if a child doesn't turn up at school" Is that the case? I went to a meeting at DS Infants & Juniors school and the headmaster said "it is YOUR responsibility to ensure YOUR child gets through the gate safely and we will not be phoning if they do not arrive"

DS1 is quite capable of walking to school on his own at 7, I reserve judgement on whether DS2 will ever get his head out of the clouds long enough to be safe to do anything on his own

For me, even though the children attend a village school I am afraid the roads are just TOO busy to let them walk on their own. It is only a 5 minute walk but we have to cross 2 roads, in theory the speed limit is 30 but in reality people go far faster and small children are incapable of judging distance or speed in the way an adult can.

And as for the fact that the school run is no more dangerous than it was when we were at school - sorry I think that is rubbish, in the past most areas had a "local" school which children could walk to - the distances alone people have to travel to school makes it necessary to drive. More families now have 2 parents who work so the school run is done on the way to work - also necessitating the use of more cars. So the voume of cars is heavier, the speed of cars is faster and people these days dont give a t*ss where they park.

FAQ - I am green with envy - I wish the hell of the school run was over that fast for me, still im guessing you get morons parking outside your house?

I wouldnt criticize anyone else for what they do...as long as they dont do it to MY child.

pagwatch · 30/04/2008 17:18

My DD and I usually walk to school and she will be able to walk on her own when I think she is old enough. We live in the middle of a large town but she only has one road to cross and that is one with traffic lights and a proper crossing.
DS1 also walks to school of course as he is big and school is close.
And we have a drive with a gate and no stopping outside so no moron issues here ( well only the usual).
I am quite looking forward to when I can be a slattern and wave the other two off as I put DS2 in his taxi in my dressing gown...I may even take up smoking so I can do it with a fag in my mouth.

FAQ · 30/04/2008 18:34

I'm quite often late , he's always on time for school, but I can't be arsed (even if I'm not in a rush because I'm taking Ds2 and 3 with me) standing around so he's often the last to leave the classroom

It's not usually too bad outside the house, one of the teachers often parks outside my house (the staff car park is tiny and not big enough for all their cars) and she knows to leave enough space for the pushchair - and of course she gets there before school run, and leaves afterwards

Bridie3 · 01/05/2008 08:38

I love my slattern days! When my husband's at home to run my son into town, or when he has holidays, and it's just my daughter at school, her taxi stops right outside our house to pick up her, our neighbour's boy and another little boy down the lane. No need to take off the dressing-gown. Bliss. Because I work from home I could almost stay in said dressing-gown until the taxi returns at 3.30pm but even I can't bring myself to be quite that slovenly.

I'm working in school this morning and have to get dressed properly. Yikes!

prettybird · 01/05/2008 08:48

It would appear that there is a policy in Scotland of calling if a child does not appear in the register without prior notice of absence.

However, we do also appear to be more relaxed about "going home" time. Even from P1 (equivelent of recpetion, although they tend to be slightly older in that the youngest would be at least 4.5 - and may of those would be held back by their parents anyway and only start in P1 the following year, when they would then be the oldest), the kids, at least at ds' school, are just let out as a class. The teachers do watch and know who normally comes to collect, but there is general melee in the playground as parents and the out of school carers pick up the kids.

Scotia · 01/05/2008 19:25

Yes prettybird, that's my experience too. I'd never heard of the teachers not letting children leave unless their parent/authorised person collects them until I read of it on here.

prettybird · 02/05/2008 08:45

Interesting about the difference Scotia. Many people on here would have absolute kittens at the "lax" way that kids are "released".

They would also have no problem with even P1 kids walking home. That's what the Lollipop men are there for.