To be VERY concerned about unattended 7 year olds?!

[Iamthedoctor]

I am actually gobsmacked. For once in my life.

I have just been reading another thread and a couple of people have said that they allow their 7 year olds to walk to school on their own WITHOUT making sure that they go in the gates.

HELLO?!!!

DD is 8. There is NO WAY on this earth would I allow her to walk to school on her own!

Worst case scenario:

DD walks to school by herself. I don't see her go in. Some arsehole snatches her. I don't know about it until AFTER school, because the school don't ring me to say she hasn't arrived. Cue police/newspapers/radio/manhunt.

I feel very strongly about this! It's madness!

Fair enough, allow them to walk HOME from school (then you KNOW that they have arrived!), but PLEASE think about what you are doing!

how were things a "LOT" different?

Less media coverage of things that have been happening since before any of us were even born???

Less awareness of "stranger danger"

What??

I was walking to school at 7.

If in FAQ's case the school is next door I dont see a problem.

What about a 14yo? It still only takes a second to bundle them in the back of a van.

I feel like writing is 12 foot high letters YOUR CHILD IS NOT GOING TO BE ABDUCTED ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL!!!!!

And, unless you intend to take them to the door until they are 18, sooner or later they are going to have to go by themselves.

And an 11 year old who has walked to school by himself or gone to the shops or to post a letter is going to find it much less stressful going on the bus to secondary school than one who has had his hand held to the classroom door until year 6!

Attitudes were different back in the old days but actual cases of child abduction is no more prevalant now to 30/40 years ago.

I walked to school and back at 7 but DD went to the same school and was taken and collected, which I sometimes felt was unneccesary, however, most other parents were there to collect and I didnt want to look as though I was neglectful.

You are probably right, Hana.

Sighs

Although, is a secretary REALLY there to check up on every child who walks to school by his or herself?

I even have MN witnesses as to how close my house is to the school....

Calling ItsMYMummy, ShelleyLou and Divvy

Iamthedoctor on Tue 29-Apr-08 18:48:59

"And ok, yes, 'I' probably walked to school on my own at that age. But that was nearly 28 years ago, and things were ALOT different then!"

How were things different? All statistics show that the abduction rate is no higher now than it was then.

In fact, the only child I have ever known personally who was abducted was my MIL and that must be close on 80 years ago. (she managed to escape).

Sometimes people speak as if it were the case that children must necessarily be less trustworthy than they were 30 years ago - more likely to run into the road or to decide not to go to school. I see no reason why this should be the case- unless we bring them up differently. I cannot see that my dc's are noticeably more foolish or less reliable than I was at their age- or than their Scandinavian cousins.

my DS started walking part way to school on his own at the start of Y3 - is a separate junior school and ot get DD to infants on time and walk him to school he would have had to be very early and waiting in the school playground, and DD would have to walk a lot further. I think crossing one road at the pedestrian crossing, and walking for all of 5 minutes on his own when there is heavy footfall in the area, knowing that there is no way DS would go anywhere other than school is a reasonable start in independence. In a couple of years I will let him walk further, and by 12 he will be expected to catch a (non school) bus on his own right across the city to get to the sports ground where the school sports day is held. If we don't start with a little independence now he will not do it later.

I'm not trying to say you are lying. I am just concerned that there may come a time when your child, for WHATEVER reason, may have NOT made it into school, and you wouldn't know about it. Although, hopefully your school is one that DOES call parents if child hasn't shown up.

Traffic is my only real concern (ok I get nervous when dd is really late home from school) and I am gutted that my younger dds will go to a different school and they won't be able to walk by themselves as there are 4 roads they will need to cross themselves and 2 of them have blind corners.

My eldest has loved the independence and it has really matured her, she is now also useful for popping to tesco to get various bits and pieces I need urgently (she is 11 btw) although I still do lecture her about which route she is to take so that she doesn't have to do russian roulette crossing the road in front of the shop itself.

Scotland revised its policy after a tragic case here. All schools I know of now phone home as soon as the register has been taken and there is an unexplained absence.

Many 7 and 8 yr olds are more than capable of walking to school.

i think that the atmosphere is so hysterical about children now that we are almost being blackmailed to endlessly check and check again that there is no single possible danger to our children for fear of being held culpable.
How else do children learn other than by practice. How do they learn to be independent, to be responsible without the inch by inch testing through everyday situations.
Of course we are fearful for our kids - but to decide that the way forward is thatthey should ever be watched, escorted with held hands for every minute until they are ..what ... 10 12 16? is just nonsense.
my eldest son was allowed bit by bit pieces of independence as he grew. I knew him, I understood his limits and i let him glory in the excitement of that first run to the letter box through to train journeys alone and ( last week) a date at the cinema with a girl ( ooh !).

Predatory paedophiles that snatch children off the streets remain rare. the number of witless, immature children who act like idiots the minute the vice like grip is loosened is sadly growing.

Just out of curiosity, do any of you (that have said that their 7/8/9 year olds walk to school on their own) leave them alone in the house?

TBH I think I think he'd probably make quite a fuss if someone tried to drag him round the barrier and into a car......so I'd heard him from the house, and other parents would see it too (not easy to "drag" someone into a car walking from my gate - or from where I can see from the front window) to the school gate without being EXTREMELY obvious)....

Just out of interest - would you let your 8yr old go round to your next door neighbour alone (assuming she had a friend that lived there) - or would you walk her round?

Things were not a lot different 28 years ago. You are sounding almost hysterical, doctor.

Iamthedoctor, yes I have on a few occasions taken DS2 and 3 to the local corner shop, or popped over to church with them to pick something (just across the road) and left DS1 alone for 10 minutes or so.

I used to walk a mile or so to primary school and back on my own, or in a small group of friends. It was brilliant! I felt so grown up, and the worst that ever happened was that we spent too much money on sweets.

I think that my mum walking me there for the first couple of years meant I was so familiar with the roads on the route that I never had trouble navigating the traffic.

Agree that fear of stranger danger is massively overinflated, and that kids need to learn independence. I also do believe that it's up to parents to know their child and how he or she will cope with such a journey. There was a piece in the Guardian a while back by a mum who had had Social Services called on her because she let her 7 year old son walk to school on his own, and it made me really depressed that her understanding of and instincts about her kid were seen as less valuable than societal pressure to coddle and conform.

YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABDUCTED ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!

iamadoctor, i almost did yesterday, but wasnt sure on dh timing at getting home from the hospital, so i dragged her to the school coughing with me to collect dd2. as it was, we passed dh on the way home, so she would've been alone for all of 3minutes.

My 8 year old does go to shop/friends (albeit just down the road) alone, but I know she has got there.

I KNOW I am overprotective. But a whole day is different to 10 mins up the road.

lol seeker.

Agree though that traffic is much heavier than it was 30/40 years ago mainly with mums doing the school run when the kids should be walking to school .

Our secondary school are too eager to ring and tell you when kids dont arrive for registration. More vigilant that the primary.

They rang me in Egypt when I'd gone to the bar to get a drink and DD was in the pool, left a message and used up all my credit and I couldnt top it up for two weeks. This was an authorised holiday. Then rang me another time at work to say she hadnt turned up for afternoon registration and she had gone on a school trip. Think the've sorted the new system now.

Seeker, please. There are other concerns that I have about allowing 7 year old to walk to school!

When my DS1 was 10 he had to take the train to school on his own every day and then catch the minibus - and when he got the train back he had to walk home from the station.

Amazing he made teenagehood really