To be VERY concerned about unattended 7 year olds?!

[Iamthedoctor]

I am actually gobsmacked. For once in my life.

I have just been reading another thread and a couple of people have said that they allow their 7 year olds to walk to school on their own WITHOUT making sure that they go in the gates.

HELLO?!!!

DD is 8. There is NO WAY on this earth would I allow her to walk to school on her own!

Worst case scenario:

DD walks to school by herself. I don't see her go in. Some arsehole snatches her. I don't know about it until AFTER school, because the school don't ring me to say she hasn't arrived. Cue police/newspapers/radio/manhunt.

I feel very strongly about this! It's madness!

Fair enough, allow them to walk HOME from school (then you KNOW that they have arrived!), but PLEASE think about what you are doing!

You know what REALLY winds me up??? People who say "oh yes I did such and such when I was seven but that was thirty years ago and things were different then".

NO THEY WEREN'T!!!!

WHAT exactly was different then???

There were no more abductors, sex offenders or "baddies" then than there are now.

Perhaps there more children on the streets bu that's only because parents didn't swallow all this paedophile on every corner crap that the media peddle.

If you don't let your child have a little bit of independence what is going to happen when they are teenagers and are finally allowed out on their own? They won't be streetwise at all.

Yes bad things might happen, but statistically your child has more chance of being killed in the car than by an abductor.

orangehead on Tue 29-Apr-08 22:48:35
"I dont understand why some people are so adamant that thier child wont be abducted. The town I live ther has been five attempted abductions of school children in the last 6 months, fortunetly all the children managed to get away. "

In the town where I live there have been countless car crashes in the last 6 months.

Elephantsbreath on Tue 29-Apr-08 22:58:25
Why are so many people on this thread angry and sarcastic with op?

Possibly because the OP was written in VERY inflamatory language? It wasn't a discussion, it was an attack. So I think a counter-attack is reasonable.

Oh, and the attempted abductions shouldn't be compared to car crashes that actually happen- they should be compared to the near misses, where somebody is nearly but not actually killed in a car.

Despite the fact that we don't have a car and my children only travel in other people's cars very rarely, they have both been in cars that have had accidents. Dd was fortunate to escape without injury, but her CM was injured when a car drove into them on the way to school. We all know people who have been seriously injured in car crashes. I only know of one person who's been abducted, that was 76 years ago and she escaped without harm.

If the papers published the horrendous details of your average car crash, the sort of thing that happens to families every week, then I think we'd all feel differently about the risks of travelling to school. But how often do you get a 4 page cover of all the grisly details?

In our area, the council have done a lot of work to encourage people to walk to school. The result is that children who are walking to school walk up with a group of friends who would certainly notice if they went off in the wrong direction.

I'm so relieved that the overwhelming response on this thread is that children should be encouraged to walk to school. Thank God for commonsense.

actually i might arrnage for dd1 to walk to school with the boy round the corner. he is the only child from her school who lives over this way.

I live opposite DD's school. She's 8. Isee her across the road, then off she goes. I don't see her go in teh gate.

HOWEVER

1. She is sensible.

1. There are lots of other parents going there who watch out for other kids. When mymohter (who lives 100 miles away) picked DD up one day, 4 different Mums asked who she was!

1. School DO ring if a ch ild doesn't turn up

I walked to school by myself when I was 5. As someone has already pointed out the number of child abdusctions has NOT increased over the last 40 or so years. So my dd is in no greater risk of being abducted than I was.

DD (7) has asked about walking to school by herself and I said she could. But then she decided she didn't want to, fair enough. I'll wait till she's ready.

She will be fine, no roads to cross and plenty of other parents and kids about.

So refreshing to see that most posters allow their children freedom.

It's so sad to see how much many primary school aged children are restrained.

I wouldn't let mine (8 and 5) walk to school on their own, but that's because they have to cross a main road with no crossing patrol to do so. Your child is about sixteen billion squillion times more likely to be hit by a car than abducted by a perv. Obviously this is a proper figure and comes from a scientific study.

UQD ? quite ? and around us most of the cars that contribute to the busy-ness on the main road at that time of day are busy driving children to school who live less than 1 mile away.

We?re lucky ? - our only main road has a lolly-pop lady and my dd doesn?t have to cross it. She walks by herself.

More concerned here that my 18 yr old doesn't turn up at school when she should.
Unfortunately,cannot do very much about it.
She is 18,and as she is legally an adult,she can make her own (stupid) decisions.
Oh,she does drop DD2 off at her school on the way though. Perhaps that is careless parenting on my part?

Like MamaG, I live just over the road from school. DS (8) has started going on his own. Considering we've been crossing that road and back together about 3000 times for school alone, plus all the other times when not for school, I think he's had enough rehearsals.

Ooh a good judgey thread and I missed it! Bugger.

Please bear with me. This may be a long post (due to drinking copious amounts of wine and missing the last couple of pages).

RE: Schools calling home if child doesn't arrive in the morning;

DH and I discussed this alot last night - and actually, I REALLY don't think that it should be the responsibility of the school to call if a child doesn't arrive. Teachers are there to teach, NOT to spend time checking up on kids that haven't arrived. IMO, it should be up to the PARENTS to call the school or get their kids to school safely.

KAZ33 Thanks for your input - just goes to show, had he not made it home (thank God he did), you wouldn't hav known about it for a while.

FAO EVERYONE

My point about child being snatched was only ONE of the dangers I wanted to highlight. You all keep saying about the dangers of cars. EXACTLY!! KIF - What a ridiculous arguement! Of course there is a difference between a 7 year old walking to school and a 17 year old. Never heard anything so laughable.

May2decmber -Yes, my DD is going on a residential trip for a night. She is very excited.

Cory "Most house fires occour while children are in bed, with Mum and Dad at home". You are probably right. More chance of child getting out alive, though, than if they have been left on their own in the cot whilst Mummy pops nxt door to get DS from school, huh?

Colditz - "why is FAQs child less safe while she is next door that while she is pegging the washing out?>"

Because, Cold, she is MUCH more likely to know that something has gone wrong in the house! And, presumably, can carry a baby monitor into the back garden? I don't care whatANYBODY says, leaving an 11 month old baby unnattended is out of order.

Seeker We fly at least twice a year. We only travel by car when we have to, but purely because we love walking so much. Wouldn't dream of driving to school. Too many kids around.

Silent terror I think that an 18 year old taking a younger sibling to school is perfectly acceptable.

I think thats it. I was awake All night last night, questioning my parenting skills. But then I thought "sod it. At least I am doing all I can to keep DD safe'"

Thank you to all of you who stood by me on this!

well I never take the baby monitor outside.

For starters if it would be a pain in the arse if they're awake downstairs as I'd have to go upstairs, bring the monitor down, plug it in where the downstairs one is, make sure the batteries were actually working in the downstairs one and take it outside with me.......

FWIW when DS2 was a toddler (but still had afternoon naps) I did used to take the monitor with me to pick up DS1 though as, being a toddler, he was more likely to wake up and try and climb out of his cot (he never did).

And I wouldn't really know if something had happened while I was in the garden = especially if DS3 was asleep in his cot at the front of the house upstairs.

In Germany children start school at 6, and thy are expected to make their own way there and back. (In fact plenty of 5yo in the last year of kindergarten are expected to go to and from KG by themselves). To complicated further, German schools finish at different times each day, and if a teacher is absent the lesson may be cancelled and the children sent home without notice.

I'm not saying this is ideal, or that German parents don't complain about some aspects of it, but it is the norm and everyone accepts it. It would be very unusual for a 7yo to be accompanied to school or picked up by a parent. The UK-norm that children should be accompanied at all times until they are secondary-age is a cultural phenomenon rather than having any specific objective basis. I don't suppose Germany has a significantly higher level of child abductions or traffic accidents than the UK.

Go figure.

oh DS1 isn't going to get hit by a car going to school, impossible........

FAQ I was assuming that you took the monitor out with you. I must admit, though, that I didn't always have the monitor downstairs when DD was tiny.

I really do find it hard to believe, though, that you get to the school, collect your son, and get home in all of two minutes. Just doesn't seem feasible to me! In my experience, DD is ALWAYS last out and you can guarentee, when I am in a hurry, the teacher will want to talk to me!

How is impossible, FAQ? What if DS1 decides to go wandering?!

Doctor, our local authority does the telephoning from a central switchboard. Once the register is taken, it is submitted to the council's education department and the telephone calls are made.

This system was implemented because of the tragedy of Rory Blackhall that I mentioned in my post further down - because seeker asked about children abducted on their way to school, but no-one has commented on it - where no-one knew he was missing until his grandad went to collect him at the end of the school day. His mother had dropped him off close to the school and he didn't arrive.

I know it's not their responsibility to do this, but it's a good thing and I'm not against it.

Scotia - You are right, it IS a good idea. But I really think it is unfair for parents to expect it. It is THEIR responsibility to make sure kids get in safely.

Well that's true of course, but I'm not sure it was done in the first place because the parents expected it. It's going to be a real pain for the school secretary to take 300 phone calls from parents to check whether their child arrived at school. Much easier to contact the twenty or so parents whose children have not turned up without the parents contacting the absence line beforehand.

Actually that's another thing we have, so parents can contact an automated line before school begins. That way the office knows if a child is not expected on that day.