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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be VERY concerned about unattended 7 year olds?!

329 replies

Iamthedoctor · 29/04/2008 18:36

I am actually gobsmacked. For once in my life.

I have just been reading another thread and a couple of people have said that they allow their 7 year olds to walk to school on their own WITHOUT making sure that they go in the gates.

HELLO?!!!

DD is 8. There is NO WAY on this earth would I allow her to walk to school on her own!

Worst case scenario:

DD walks to school by herself. I don't see her go in. Some arsehole snatches her. I don't know about it until AFTER school, because the school don't ring me to say she hasn't arrived. Cue police/newspapers/radio/manhunt.

I feel very strongly about this! It's madness!

Fair enough, allow them to walk HOME from school (then you KNOW that they have arrived!), but PLEASE think about what you are doing!

OP posts:
ranting · 29/04/2008 20:42

I do find it shocking though that a school wouldn't phone if a child didn't make it to school, the schools round here do.

Scotia · 29/04/2008 20:45

Kif, my dd will be 18 next week and her school does phone parents if pupils have not turned up to school.

OP, I do see your point, and used to be the same with my dds. My friend was the opposite way and always picked up her children at the end of the day but was happy to let them walk to school alone. By the time my dds were about 8, they were walking to school with their friends.

FAQ, I'm a bit confused by your posts - your ds can walk to school alone (understandable in your circumstances), but you have to leave your sleeping baby alone in the house to pick him up? Why can't he walk home himself?

FAQ · 29/04/2008 20:48

Scotia, because they don't allow the children to leave on their own

ranting · 29/04/2008 20:48

Look YB, if you are going to grind your axe with me, remember it was you who mentioned rape. I did NOT put words into your mouth, maybe you should re read my previous point. My actual words were 'By that logic'.

Mercy · 29/04/2008 20:52

FAQ, same here.

All children up to Yr2 have to be collected by a known adult.

Yr3 plus can go home alone.

unknownrebelbang · 29/04/2008 20:53

Can I add my voice to the chorus that states Colditz is hilariou.

And erm, teenagers often have worse road sense than younger children.

FAQ · 29/04/2008 20:53

he's at an infant school - only goes up to YR2, next year he'll be allowed (once I'm happy that he's settled and is confident doing it on his own) to walk home alone from the junior school.

Scotia · 29/04/2008 20:57

Ah, thanks FAQ, it's not like that here in Scotland, unless things have changed since my dds were little. The children are just sent out at the end of the day, even the P1s. I guess I'll find out when ds starts school after the summer

seeker · 29/04/2008 21:45

Does anybody know of a child who has been abducted on the way to school?

(I think Colditz is funny too. She's not making jokes about child abduction. She is making jokes about scare-mongering alarmist people)

unknownrebelbang · 29/04/2008 21:47

No.

Purely anecdotal, of course, but DH has never come across it either (other than domestic situations) and he's been a copper for almost 30 years.

mumeeee · 29/04/2008 21:48

I don't think that 7 year olds should be allowed to walk to or home from school.
I didn't let my children do that until they were 10.

Kif · 29/04/2008 21:53

I used to walk to school and back from about 8/9 y.o. . It was a twenty minutes walk through a residential area.

My parents 'paired' me with the neighbours kid, and our parents hammered into each other that we were always to walk together and the same route. We always stuck to this - even if it meant my friend had to go back into school and find a teacher one day when I was kept back.

Seemed like a sound idea to me. Harder to snatch more than one kid at once; someone to get help if you - say - felt ill; and someone to act as the voice of reason/snitch to reduce chances of mischief. Also more fun together.

Scotia · 29/04/2008 22:03

Yes seeker

Rory Blackhall

seeker · 29/04/2008 22:14

A tragic case - do we know what happened next?

Scotia · 29/04/2008 22:16

Not sure what you mean. His abductor murdered him and then hung himself - no relation to the child, just a wierdo murdering bastard.

Scotia · 29/04/2008 22:27

Here

Rory's murderer

Lollypopzmummy · 29/04/2008 22:28

I remember watching the documentory on the abduction on these two girls in the exact scenario that you have described Iamthedoctor so I don't think YABU at all, it happens so you would not be seen as a bad parent, or human being for that matter, to be concerned.
My girls are still a way off being this age but even then I still wont be letting them go to school on their own until I'm utterly sure they're safe (me being me they'd have to be martial arts experts and the school only 2 minutes from our front door! ).

KristinaM · 29/04/2008 22:32

hi iamthedoctor and welcome to mumsnet

IHMO YABU walking to school in the circumstances described is not a high risk activity

it is probably much safer than travelling in a car, which i assume you would not object to?

cory · 29/04/2008 22:47

Unless I am very much mistaken, far more children die in their parents' car than from being abducted by strangers. Being driven to school by Mummy or Daddy is actually one of the most unsafe things you can do. Though few parents see it that way.

And of the children who die in house fires, surely quite a few of those happen at night when Mum and Dad are at home?

There is a strange conception among us mothers that nothing can touch our child if we are there to protect it.

I have known mothers who sit beside their child in a parked car to keep it safe "in case somebody else drives into the car". Exactly how Mummy's presence would act as a protective charm is unclear.

orangehead · 29/04/2008 22:48

I dont understand why some people are so adamant that thier child wont be abducted. The town I live ther has been five attempted abductions of school children in the last 6 months, fortunetly all the children managed to get away. It is a real concern, Im not saying we should all be wrapping are children up in cotton wool but we cant ignore that these things can happen and should belittle someone for being concerned.
Btw are school doesnt ring if the child is absent

Elephantsbreath · 29/04/2008 22:58

Why are so many people on this thread angry and sarcastic with op?

8 yo isn't so grown up to be getting yourself to school and it just doesn't follow that somebody of 8/9/10 accompanied to school won't be equipped to deal with independant adulthood many years later

I'm with you doctor!

orangehead · 29/04/2008 23:00

that should be 'shouldnt belittle'
{should really read my posts first}

SmugColditz · 29/04/2008 23:13

Personally I'm being sarcastic because I enjoy it. I'm in a fouler tonight and as usual, Mumsnet bears the brunt.

I don't think "My children will never be abducted" - I think that the risk is statistically low enough for me to feel happy about my children walking to school before the age of 10. Saying that, I don't know.

Abnd the OP has still not answered the question put to her - why is FAQs child less safe while she is next door that while she is pegging the washing out?>

FAQ · 29/04/2008 23:20
seeker · 30/04/2008 06:26

Preumably you don't let your children travel in aeroplanes because of the risk of a crash. Or in a car.

Did you know that the year after 9/11 over 1000 more people died in car crashes in the States than the year before because they had perceived flying as too risky. So they drove - and died.

There has been one child murder on the way to school that anyone can remember in recent history. This is no reason to prevent children spreading their wings a little.