Apparently I'm beautiful NOW

[BlueSilverCats]

I have very slowly been losing weight. Mum has been making comments but I mostly downplayed it, not looking for compliments or mentioning it or anything.

Today she told me I'm actually beautiful now. Jeese... thanks mum. Only took 30 something years.

Every time she moaned at me for being fat it was always followed by "of course it's mainly about health". No , it's not. At least not to her.

FFS! YANBU what a bitch 😬

Obviously no offence as she's your mum etc. But she's not mine so it feels justified 😂

I think the boomer generation has some really ingrained and sad mentalities regarding weight. They’re a product of the messaging they grew up with.

I think the ‘boomer’ generation had a better attitude towards weight than younger generations who are ‘body positive’ and kid themselves that you can be fat and fit.

The size of some younger people is almost unbelievable. The ‘boomers’ will outlive many of them. Sometimes the gentle approach doesn’t work and you just need to tell your loved one they are getting too big.

I’d be as upset if my kids were obese as if they had started smoking.

The worst part about losing weight is that it soon becomes apparent who thinks you now have more value than you did before. Really messed up some of my relationships.

The boomer mentality is often centred around weight being linked to worth and not a genuine health concern, which is completely different to the ‘fat can be fit’ message and not really connected. It’s all about appearance.

Whether you agree that fat can be fit or not, everyone should agree that your worth is not a sliding scale of weight.

@IdrisElbow I was the opposite, as I had lost a lot of weight as soon as I gave birth (suffered with HG so didn't gain anything , I was 10 kgs lighter after) and she told me I never looked better. She also kept mentioning about how well I looked after birth for years after and I should get back to that. Sure, puking my guts out, fucked up teeth and at some point living on apples only. I looked anything but great! 🙈

WTF is it with everyone blaming "boomers" for everything today?! As a non-boomer I'm embarrassed for everyone with their shit ageist generalisations.

Well done on the weight loss.
Your mother is horrible to have said that to you.

Surely you mean 'some' of the boomer generation.

💯 this!

I agree that the weight issues of younger people are pretty bad. But I also have a boomer mother and I can relate to the way weight was always linked to worth somehow and that it really could make you feel like shit. I struggled with disorder eating a lot (still do tbh). It’s hard to break the cycle and still instil healthy ideas.

What an ageist comment ! Why does MN allow so many of them ? Racist or sexist comments would ( rightly ) be deleted but it seems that anything g goes when it comes to the “ boomers” .

Sorry 🥺

I'm on a weight loss journey myself. I often wonder whether, if i manage to achieve my goal, my estranged family will love me

I think that my weight gain and clear depression shown through my appearance helped make it easy for them turn on me

I wouldn't pay it any attention. Let her say it in front of other people, they'll soon put her in her place

Sadly it's a fact that when you lose weight, people will treat you better. But your mum shouldn't be one of those people.

Well done on losing weight op x

Edited for spelling

We’re allowed to talk in shorthand on internet forums. I’m not writing a report for Panorama.

So true. My dad is obsessed with weight. Literally the first thing he'll remark on when telling a story is that the person was slim and attractive when (or not) when it has nothing to do with the story. Completely judges people's worth on their weight. Definitely something to do with that generation.

I agree. I can't stand the term Boomer and I'm not even one. It's only ever used to paint older people in a bad light or put them down.

That's true.

It also seems to be true that you're at liberty to be ageist on MN.

Your offence is misplaced. Every generation has its social messaging and influences due to its cultural changes. They are not steadfast lines, but the understanding that each generation experiences the world differently from those before and after it.

Same with my boomer mum. Posted a picture online holding up an award, my mother's prompt comment "well done you've never looked so slim" 🫤 how, in God's name, is that the only thing to complement me on?? It's very much weight tied to worth under the guise of "I'm only worried about your health"

So true. If I lose a stone 'DH' actually deems me worthy of talking to. When I lost 2 stone he actually put an arm round me. Keep in mind at my heaviest I'm a size 10. He (and my parents) only approve of me when I'm a size 6, with no excess fat.

Her mum is unlikely to be a boomer if she is in her thirties, anyway unpleasant ageist comment. #notaboomer

Ouch - some of us maybe, not all of us. I wouldn't dream of telling anyone they look beautiful NOW. What a backhanded compliment!

Agree. The amount of male colleagues who suddenly became quite interested in me was dismaying.