Is this sufficient for 3 kids?

[Newnamenewnamenewnamenew]

apologies it’s long.

Posted before got a bit of a wake up call in terms of my budget. id love another child and time is ticking for me age wise, so it’s starting to be now or never. The question is can we afford it. I’d like a bit of impartial help when everything is laid out, because sometimes if feel like yeah, our income is fine (I’ve put it on that min income calculator thing online and we’re a few hundred quid up a week)

Ive worked really hard with DH do a budget, it’s below. We have 2 dc, is a third viable here? This is the here and now too, we have scope to get better jobs in the medium term and bolster our earnings. We have a small 4 bed house right now and a 7 seater car, so the ‘big’ things are already taken care of. Though we’d likely need to upsize in the future.

our gross income is £110k per year base. Bonuses can vary between £10-£15k, last year was a good year and we got £20k but that’s not the norm. 3-5% annual pay rises.

monthly income 6,400 salary + £170 (child benefit)
our living expenses (mortgage, car insurance, life insurance, food, fuel, household bills) £3130. Our mortgage is £1350, I’m confident this will go down when our fix is up though.
child savings £170 (CB)+ £100
£180 credit card (0% not too many more payments this is a mix of some work on the house and a root canal I needed)
£60 mobile phones
£500 childcare (this will reduce to about £350 in the new year)
hobbies- £75 (dance, football and swimming)
£90 car insurance
£100 days out
savings £1000
that leaves us then about £1000 which we then split equally between us and the basically give ourselves a personal allowance of about £100 a week, basically £800 a month for personal stuff. We buy kids clothes from the personal allowance as well as stuff for ourselves, haircuts etc.
which should leave about £150/£200 for us to use a sink fund for any unexpected events, if there’s none then it gets saved.

for another child we’d save the additional child benefit for that child plus an additional £50 a month. Worked out that way in the investment account that they have it could be about £25k at 18, to use for uni/ whatever (it’s the same as what we do currently)

private school isn’t a priority for us, we’ve several grammar schools around us and if that’s not a viable option we live close to one of the best state schools in the area.

we like our holidays but I shop around and I’m confident I can find holidays for 5 for not too much more than we pay now (I’ve checked)

what do we think?

realistically that’s all we can afford to save right now, £1000 for us plus £270 for the kids and then between £100-£200 as a sinking fund (admittedly there are bits that come up that mean it’s normally £100) but In total that’s £1370

credit card I did that thing of I don’t want to take £1000 out of my savings for a root canal I’ll put it on my card and pay it off. Maybe an error but it’s manageable. Yeah we both work FT I thought I put it in my OP, apologies I didn’t.

i would be really open to budgeting advice, all the big ticket items I’ve listed.

I always think it’s crazy when people are entitled to child benefit and they just use it to save, you obviously don’t need child benefit if it’s just to be saved

Does she NEED to think about driving lessons and uni? My parents never paid for me to go to uni or have driving lessons (I'm early twenties before someone mentions it being different these days) and neither did most of my friends parents. They may not even want to go to uni.

Op has a house big enough for each child to have their own room and a pretty high income. There are people on their fifth kid in circumstances half as good as ops doing less overthinking on this.

That's probably what's wrong with the world though 😂

How much would you say is appropriate, atm they are little so they only do 2 activities each, but obviously this is because they are small.

how much would you budget for an older child on average?

By the time your kids are older, costs will have changed anyway. Either do it or don’t, and cut your cloth accordingly. You can’t be hyper prepared for everything.

Does she NEED to think about driving lessons and uni?
That's the point though isn't it, no one NEEDS to go on holiday, or after school activities but most of us have a list of wants for our children, likely longer than needs.

I don't think parents earning that much can ignore uni though, we're supposed to contribute. My DH was devastated when I told him 😂

probably at least £100 per child per month, but like the pp said - costs will change and you can't base your decision to have a child on whether you acn afford hobbies.

some are much cheaper. I pay around £90 a year for rugby including training & matches. conversely i pay £70 a week for horse riding, £90 a month for swimming & £300 a term for dancing. Each hobby has it's own pricing structure. music lessons or other sports will be more.

I can't work out your budget of £75 for hobbies either.

I pay £60 per child per month for swimming lessons. Then other activities are between £5-10 a week per activity. My 3 are all under 5. So over £300 per month to do swimming each and 1 activity each per week.

It’s like, how long is a piece of string OP?

DS’s cricket is £200 for sept to April and then what like £30 a month April to sept? Something like that? Then all the kit.

Theatre class is £330 a TERM 😭

Piano lessons £20 for half an hour, every week x2

But then Beavers things are like £8 for the most amazing activity day a child could ever imagine and their one off activities are like £1 or something. Can’t remember how much a term, not much.

Footie through school is maybe £20 a term, but if he wanted to do local club that’s £140 a season, then a weird amount of kids I know are part of a premiership academy which I’m sure is ££££

You really can’t predict a number, just see what happens and then see if you can afford it.

I see someone mentions the teenage years already. Childcare is a lot cheaper than teenagers. And I had both of them in full time nursery. It depends on where you live and that will affect what they ask.

Our children go to state schools but in an area where parents generally can afford things. I laugh when I saw a post complaining about £2 christmas contributions. Secondary sent an email giving us some figures to work towards. The most expensive is a special trip for £4300. That isn't linked to any subjects so DC won't be going. But all the other subject trips are around £1500. DC is interested in doing Geography and Music and the two trips are over £3000. Then there are trips for MFL. Even if your child is only going to one, this is around £1500.

Then all the kids have Apple Watch. DC was the last to still have a fitbit. Homework are done on laptop and communicated via emails and apps, submitted on Microsoft 365. You'll need to get them smart phones and laptops each.

They eat like adults. Many attraction entry tickets charge adult fees after 12. Flights are similar.

But having said that, I think you have enough money. But don't underestimate the cost of teenagers if you want to keep up with the Jones a bit.

I had a third child and then my husband left, and I was made redundant. 10 years in and I am fucking skint but really happy, and my kids are happy too. Don’t fret about the finances, sounds like you have loads compared to us and we’re living a good life with lots of joy and love. Go for it if that’s what you want.

@Newnamenewnamenewnamenew you allow your child to do it if you can afford it. DC is into figure skating. Private lessons are £27 for half an hour, and then you pay £10 ice time on top. So £37 just for a lesson a week. Mine are casual so they don't often go for extra practice. But if they are competive, you have to pay extra to be in the synchro team, exact practice ice time, compeition dresses. It adds up very quickly.

Swimming is cheaper and I think £25 per 30min lesson.

Music is cheaper and we pay £20 per half hour lesson. Exam fees are minimal. We have ensembles organised by the county music service which is like £40 a term.

Also two DC means you can drive them to wherever it needs to be for clubs. If you have three, then you'll have to say no to some of if you end up needing to be at three places at the same time.

If it is a struggle stop saving the childcare. We are thinking of a third on a tiny amount of income compared to you. I am sure you would manage.

That number is how much we spend at the mo, it’s £5 per kid per swim lesson, so about £40 a month and then £20 per month for dance and then £15 for the tots football

I think if you really wanted a 3rd DC you wouldn’t be pricing up swimming lessons and worrying about downgrading your Disney holidays. You have four bedrooms and a big car, you either go for it or you don’t.

Yeah this. This is boring now op 😅🥱 either do it or don’t, when it comes down to it a bunch of strangers on the internet aren’t really invested so it’s irrelevant what we think.

The more I read, the less I think you can afford it. Our DC are grown up now but at, say 10 and 7, they did:

DS: Tennis, cricket and rugby: probably about £350 a term. Additional coaching £25 for half an hour. A lot through private prep.

DD: Tennis, swimming, flute, drama: probably about £500 a term. DD took the music much further - grade 8 voice and some professional voice coaching: £40 per half hour.

The teenage years, throw in extras and school trips - £2000 a year between them, in addition to the above and keep yiur finger crossed nobody wants a pony ;)

Disney holidays were not a priority either socially or culturally.

You won't get child benefit for a 3rd child.

Up to you but would you want to compromise the lifestyles and opportunities for the two you have?

Can you support them all through uni? Maintenance loans will be minimal based on your salaries and part time jobs for students are like gold dust.

I wouldn't compromise my children's opportunities for another sibling but you do you

Yes they will. That applies to UC.

I guess this is where I am, if I sit down and really really mull it over I’m worried we can’t. BUT then I say well you won’t be on this salary forever, you’re young and can work up and will. BUT that’s not a given. BUT I really yearn for another that’s even IF I can conceive again (nothing is a given)

Just to echo the below yeah we will CB isn’t capped that’s child tax benefit

Yeah sorry, my mistake.

Principle still stands though of university costs and fewer opportunities for the kids you have.

I didn't make the jump from 1 to 2 on a similar salary to yours because of quality of life but everyone's different.