Is this sufficient for 3 kids?

[Newnamenewnamenewnamenew]

apologies it’s long.

Posted before got a bit of a wake up call in terms of my budget. id love another child and time is ticking for me age wise, so it’s starting to be now or never. The question is can we afford it. I’d like a bit of impartial help when everything is laid out, because sometimes if feel like yeah, our income is fine (I’ve put it on that min income calculator thing online and we’re a few hundred quid up a week)

Ive worked really hard with DH do a budget, it’s below. We have 2 dc, is a third viable here? This is the here and now too, we have scope to get better jobs in the medium term and bolster our earnings. We have a small 4 bed house right now and a 7 seater car, so the ‘big’ things are already taken care of. Though we’d likely need to upsize in the future.

our gross income is £110k per year base. Bonuses can vary between £10-£15k, last year was a good year and we got £20k but that’s not the norm. 3-5% annual pay rises.

monthly income 6,400 salary + £170 (child benefit)
our living expenses (mortgage, car insurance, life insurance, food, fuel, household bills) £3130. Our mortgage is £1350, I’m confident this will go down when our fix is up though.
child savings £170 (CB)+ £100
£180 credit card (0% not too many more payments this is a mix of some work on the house and a root canal I needed)
£60 mobile phones
£500 childcare (this will reduce to about £350 in the new year)
hobbies- £75 (dance, football and swimming)
£90 car insurance
£100 days out
savings £1000
that leaves us then about £1000 which we then split equally between us and the basically give ourselves a personal allowance of about £100 a week, basically £800 a month for personal stuff. We buy kids clothes from the personal allowance as well as stuff for ourselves, haircuts etc.
which should leave about £150/£200 for us to use a sink fund for any unexpected events, if there’s none then it gets saved.

for another child we’d save the additional child benefit for that child plus an additional £50 a month. Worked out that way in the investment account that they have it could be about £25k at 18, to use for uni/ whatever (it’s the same as what we do currently)

private school isn’t a priority for us, we’ve several grammar schools around us and if that’s not a viable option we live close to one of the best state schools in the area.

we like our holidays but I shop around and I’m confident I can find holidays for 5 for not too much more than we pay now (I’ve checked)

what do we think?

Sounds like she wants her cake and to eat it. If she wants another one she might have to cut back on Disney or maybe not as it seems they are wealthy enough and this is a bit of a stealth brag.

If you really want another child go for it. None of the reasons you listed should stop you, the house is even big enough for each kid to have their own room so don't worry about it being small.
Jeez when I think of some of the people I know having their third child and their circumstances 😳 trust me if they can do it you definitely can.

Good luck op 🤞🏻

Yeah that’s true, it’s a small 4 bed, 2 doubles and 2 single bedrooms, open plan downstairs. Yes we could make it work long term, but we’d probably upsize

£47k now, similar to DS.
Up to about £65k for Reader/Associate Prof
Above £75k for Prof
Around £100k for Dean
£120k plus for SMT

I wouldn’t call a 1st degree, Masters, PhD, many degrees. All are relevant for the career trajectory. It isn't just about money. DS is doing a job he loves, following a passion in his research, publishing AND, as far as he is concerned, getting paid for it. He's also got a role at an excellent uni in the North of England where that £47k is worth twice as much as it would be in London.

Young people have to work for nearly 50 years nowadays. It isn't all transactionally about money. Someone very famous once said that wealth and passion go hand in hand and nobody makes a fortune doing what they don't love.

You obviously can afford a third in terms of housing/feeding/clothing…But, we earn significantly more than you and stopped at 2 and glad we did! Teenagers are so so expensive. It’s never ending. We live rurally so car/driving lessons is essential, holidays, eating out, clothes, hobbies, Uni, house deposits and on and on. Now i know people will be along to say you don’t have to pay for that stuff, their kids did it on their own with a part time job, which may be true but I want to help my children. They do have part time jobs but it’s minimal with studying. I don't think homeownership particularly is achievable without family help these days.

For me a third turned out to be more logistics than money. Getting everyone to hobbies they wanted to do. 3 sets of matches on a weekend at different places. 3 sets homework. Navigating having friends sleeping over for all three.

OP have you considered why it is you want ala 3rd? Usually threads like this show which way your heart is going when you start to defend and excuse etc (not a criticism, I think threads like this help to expose your desire!) so you're worried about finances etc and presumably can see the benefits to stopping at 2, but what is it that makes you want 3? I think only then can you weigh up against what you will lose (ie money, lol). Just to check it is somewhat rational, because being broody can be very hormonal and not terribly rational, and also, temporary. I was very broody for a 3rd and probably could have written threads like yours back then, but we weren't as well off back then, now with teens (and more money) I am very relieved as I recognise it was just hormones for me, but that's the benefit of hindsight!

Yeah that’s about right and rings true to when I was in academia, but I will say it’s a lot harder to move up and get that promotion and generally a much harder slog in academia. It’s doesn’t make one better than the other. It’s just my experience and not an attack on your son. I’m really pleased he’s fulfilled and able to make it work!

I’d call a undergrad, ma, mphil and PhD many degrees lol. Definitely 2 or three too many (for me)

I don't understand why you've started another identical thread on this. I was on the other one and I think people were pretty straight with you, yes financially affording another one now is completely doable but don't forget they do get a lot more expensive when teenagers and also the third could have disabilities which would throw everything up in the air.

But from what I remember you basically said that financially helping grown up children was not a priority and it would do them good to have to pay for everything themselves. You seemed very sure that financially everything was sorted so why on earth are you asking the question again, did you not like the answers?

3 small toddlers/primary aged children - easy and cheap.

Once they hit teenagers it is a different story.

For example, when they were little I could get them xmas pjs from Primark for £8. Now they are in adult sizes its £15-20 for festive pjs. So at least twice the price, scale that up to every single item of clothing and it soon makes a massive difference.

You need to think about things like driving lessons and university. We will have 7 continuous years of a child in Uni wiht 2 of those years having 2 children in at the same time!

This is a post I'd take notice of. We had 3 on a third of your income so financially it's simply about your priorities. We prioritised kids experiences and activities so the enormous thing for us was ferrying them about every evening, particularly in the teen/pre-teen years. We had instruments, various sports going on, plus p/t work once they hit 16, which meant that we had a minimum of of one activity every day, usually 2 or 3, and on Thursdays we had 4. When DC2 got very serious about his main sport he had 10pm pickups 5 days a week, on top of the 4+ activities a week for the other two, which were mostly at more sociable hours. My life changed hugely once DC1 & 2 went to uni (they are still there, although DC1 has now finished and is working in his uni city). We now only have DC3 at home and they are down to 3 activities a week - bliss!

Obviously your kids activity levels are down to you, but the more kids you have, the more time consuming they are and the less time and energy there is to go round.

well, before I got a bit of a wake up call budget wise, because well our budget was off and wonky so actual affordability was up in the air.

no I definitely want to provide for my kids, hence why we save for them, at 18 they should have about £25k in their investments that if they go to uni away we’ll fund with that (my advice would be stay home and use the money later but it’s up to them)

I wish I could answer that in a profound way, but all I can say is that I really yearn for another child. I’d always envisioned 3. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m so blessed to have what I have and I need to remind myself at times, that I’m now living the life that I once dreamed. I admit I’m not probably being the most rationale about it, hence why I want to check the finances are ok. Because then we can work everything else out.

I can list off the benefits of stopping at 2 and that’s what I’ll comfort myself with, if for whatever reason it’s not meant to be. I am worried I’m too old for another child or I might not conceive, we’ve been trying for 6 months now. But it just doesn’t stop the want or the yearning. My children would also love another sibling

Except it IS most definitely arsey and goady.

Perhaps in your partner's field you need a Masters to do a PhD, I certainly didn't.

Plenty on income and outgoings. A little surprised actually that your savings aren't higher and you have credit card debt at all (even if small) given you qualify for child benefit and therefore the 110k base must be a split between you which keeps you under the threshold, and therefore you're not taxed on that as highly as a single income 110k. I think you actually have room to save more in prep for a third and to have a cushion moving forward

my field

Except it’s not and the poster who I was replying too didn’t interpret it that way

i think you should go for a third. its clearly what you want and your finances can handle it.

i dont think you've allowed enough for kids hobbies, but not everyone priorities clubs the same way. I spend a lot more on my 3.

good luck, it'll all work out in the end!

You can afford it on paper but are you allowing for larger car for instance, also your holiday figures are completely unrealistic, they are running at £1000 + per person sharing one room but leap up a lot for 5 because of needing a suite at 4*

I am just going mention other considerations with having 3 children which are not financial. I have 3 but due to having twins after my first. So we were thrown into having 3, so had to just make it work. But I would say additional issues with having 3 children are

• Activities and holidays not set up for families of 5. Lots of activities (I.e. swimming, rides etc) require 1:1 child to adult ratio which means we can't go. We have for example been refused entry into center parcs swimming pool due to this ratio issue.
• Adults are out numbered by the children and so all my children miss out on 1:1 time.
• Also on this it can make bedtime a bit of a juggling act when they all want time/attention.
• GP's cannot cope with all 3 children at one time for any length of time. So they will have max 2 at a time.
• Need a larger car

I have 3 and we have a third of your salary and make it work, you just do. And if you struggle financially and have to cut back on holidays etc then so be it. But it’s not all about finances. I wouldn’t change my set up for the world. My third was a bit of a surprise, we had stopped at 2 but had a random naughty night and along came a baby 🤣
What I struggle with more than anything is having my enough time for them all. At the minute, it’s hard juggling all the different school bits, listening to them read, learning phonics, getting them to different clubs. Mentally I used to be very organised and knew exactly what was on the school calendar. Now I’m struggling to remember who needs what and when. I just worry sometimes that I’m not enough for them all and it will only get harder as the youngest gets older. And I have a supportive and hands on husband. Just something else to think about, it’s not all about money.