Is this sufficient for 3 kids?

[Newnamenewnamenewnamenew]

apologies it’s long.

Posted before got a bit of a wake up call in terms of my budget. id love another child and time is ticking for me age wise, so it’s starting to be now or never. The question is can we afford it. I’d like a bit of impartial help when everything is laid out, because sometimes if feel like yeah, our income is fine (I’ve put it on that min income calculator thing online and we’re a few hundred quid up a week)

Ive worked really hard with DH do a budget, it’s below. We have 2 dc, is a third viable here? This is the here and now too, we have scope to get better jobs in the medium term and bolster our earnings. We have a small 4 bed house right now and a 7 seater car, so the ‘big’ things are already taken care of. Though we’d likely need to upsize in the future.

our gross income is £110k per year base. Bonuses can vary between £10-£15k, last year was a good year and we got £20k but that’s not the norm. 3-5% annual pay rises.

monthly income 6,400 salary + £170 (child benefit)
our living expenses (mortgage, car insurance, life insurance, food, fuel, household bills) £3130. Our mortgage is £1350, I’m confident this will go down when our fix is up though.
child savings £170 (CB)+ £100
£180 credit card (0% not too many more payments this is a mix of some work on the house and a root canal I needed)
£60 mobile phones
£500 childcare (this will reduce to about £350 in the new year)
hobbies- £75 (dance, football and swimming)
£90 car insurance
£100 days out
savings £1000
that leaves us then about £1000 which we then split equally between us and the basically give ourselves a personal allowance of about £100 a week, basically £800 a month for personal stuff. We buy kids clothes from the personal allowance as well as stuff for ourselves, haircuts etc.
which should leave about £150/£200 for us to use a sink fund for any unexpected events, if there’s none then it gets saved.

for another child we’d save the additional child benefit for that child plus an additional £50 a month. Worked out that way in the investment account that they have it could be about £25k at 18, to use for uni/ whatever (it’s the same as what we do currently)

private school isn’t a priority for us, we’ve several grammar schools around us and if that’s not a viable option we live close to one of the best state schools in the area.

we like our holidays but I shop around and I’m confident I can find holidays for 5 for not too much more than we pay now (I’ve checked)

what do we think?

I think this is probably my question.

i love my holidays, my Disney holidays too, this is something as a family we love. But I’ve seen lovely family holidays in our budget.

we like to go away twice a year and then have a uk break and a city break.

i don’t think we could go to Florida as often but they do have 5th sleeper rooms, and then there is Paris for plugging a gap. It seems doable with some compromises (Davy Crockett ranch for instance)

This. Our income is far far less than yours (£45k) but we will probably have a third child. We have a smaller house, smaller car, less hobbies ect but ultimately you've just got to decide what you want your family to look like

Not arsey or goady (tone is hard to convey via message/text) but what do you want for your life?

We earn more than this and get full child benefit. You don't lose any child benefit until one of you earns over 60k and that's after any pension contributions.

You sound financially savvy and that you know your sums, makes a big difference in your favour tax wise having x2 earners with your total salary rather than x1 high earner, and you then hit the 60% equiv tax rate 100-125k
how are your pensions looking? Do you have decent monthly contributions? Also do you have enough in savings to lean on in case of redundancy etc

Are you really expecting people to go searching for another thread of yours? 😵‍💫 (edit - I read ‘read’ as past tense but maybe you mean ‘go and read it’…. Anyway…. Not gonna happen sorry 😂 provide context in op if necessary! (Don’t mean this in a mean tone just quizzical!))

You can certainly afford it financially. Can you sanity wise though? 😅 I have 3 and it’s a lot! I was a SAHM and now only work about 1.5 days a week and the logistics of everyone’s schedules, clubs, social lives is mad. Love it but it’s a lot of plates to keep spinning!

Its hard to summarise really but things like, we don't have abroad holidays, don't save money for the kids, rarely have meals out, probably won't be able to buy our kids a car. For some people these things are essential, for us they're not. I had a similar childhood growing up too, we had some treats but we did not have a lot of spare cash. I was happy however, and so I am happy to replicate that with my own children. I don't feel like I'm missing out as I never had these things in the first place

ETA - didn't mention the things I actually do want 😆 I'm a SAHM to two pre school children at the moment and it's what I've always wanted. I love our UK holidays, we do have some days out (e.g national trust) we have a modest but homely house, I have time for some hobbies (mostly craft/home based). Yes sometimes I wish we had more but I would rather have the kids

Ultimately we'd all have more money with fewer children, it's just deciding where your personal limit is 😊

@Newnamenewnamenewnamenew you've posted about this recently haven't you? I'm really not sure you're going to get any different answers today than you did on your other thread.

We work in the private sector so redundancy is always a risk. We both work for ftse 250 companies , dh 100, so i wouldn’t say his role is more secure but he’s been there longer, the package is more generous and there’s normally scope for redeployment.

myself, I recently went through redundancy and walked away with 12k (hence why I said bonuses were larger last yr) luckily I walked straight into another role. Where I am now is a critical function to the business so pretty safe, regardless id be looking at a similar payment and I wouldn’t be choosy about my next role, I’d work in a supermarket if it came to it.

pensions, gah i need to get my head out of my ass and consolidate mine. But we both have 14-15% largely through employer contributions and a further match contribution, so we’re ok there. I also can’t see ourselves fully retiring, until 70, taking a step down to part time and an easy role but I think having something to get out of bed for is powerful. I will also have an inheritance of about £500k.

I did on my old thread and fuccck it was brutal, it was like no you can’t afford it, you’re shit at budgeting and shit at life (mild exaggeration on my part there) but it was a kick to get a solid budget going

it was conditional past, like man if you’d have read that other thread…

it is a lot to keep spinning now but social lives and activities pretty much have to be kept for the weekend, at least whilst they are young, that’s our reality. In life I’m the forgetful mum friend

I did on my old thread and fuccck it was brutal, it was like no you can’t afford it, you’re shit at budgeting and shit at life (mild exaggeration on my part there) but it was a kick to get a solid budget going

That really wasn't my memory of it! It was the same as this one, it depends what lifestyle you want. No amount of budgeting will change the fact 3 kids is more expensive than 2.

Yeah. They definitely get more tricky and complex the older they get! But then I guess eventually they will then be going out independently once they’re teens if you live somewhere not remote, so these things go in phases, just like the nursery years.

I think it comes down to lifestyle, as another PP said, as obviously you can afford to have another child on paper. And not just your lifestyle - the lifestyle you want your kids to have too. Eg time for play dates, clubs etc - hard around 2 full time jobs. So lifestyle should be a massive consideration, not just the finances.

It sounds like you’ve got it all covered, with solid careers including good pension contributions (partners employer contributes 3%! ) many consider / have a 3rd which a lot less financial security than you, I would be feeling very comfortable in your position (also debating a 3rd but a SAHM so it’s much more risky financially and I worry about being able to cope with x3!)

What you are really asking is whether you can maintain your current standard of living with 3.

What do you want from life? What's most important to you?

You can make budgets and look logically all your want but realistically, of course you can afford another child with your income. So do you want to?

We have 3 and we were on less than half your income when we had our children. Less expensive area I assume given your mortgage as ours is a heck of a lot less but still. Mine are all teens now and we still earn a little less than you but we're close in income now. We have a nice house, nice holidays and enjoy ourselves. They are a joy. But there was never a doubt about the third, before we had them it was just that he didn't exist yet rather than whether we would or not.

This, I think this is way more important than the money aspect.

My friend was in a similar position and they had a third child who was born with various disabilities (they had no clue). It completely turned all their lives upside down and although the 2 older children are wonderful with him, they've had a very different childhood since he was born. Not just from the money aspect, but the time and sacrifices of not being able to go to places, having to turn down invites to things etc. because it just doesn't work from a practical perspective.

Not saying this would happen to you of course, but regardless your time is going to be split more with more children.

Money-wise it seems that you've done your sums and can cover everything at the moment.

I'd just suggest that time-wise it might be different as the DC get older. Can you manage when you have to try to juggle football, dance, swimming lessons, rugby, parties, drama class, music lessons or whatever else your DC might be into? When they are little it's easy but in my experience it's harder as they get older and want to do different things.

Also, as a PP mentioned, teenagers are very expensive. School trips, food bills, driving lessons, tech, clothes, trainers, hobbies, university, uniform... the list goes on and that's before you factor in adult prices for holidays, days out etc.

For example OP, any chance of you both going down to 4 days a week. A few families I know do this. One person takes Mondays off and the other Friday for example. Frees up those days for the kids’ after school activities/chill time/family time and reduces any nursery bills!

Yes it’s enough.

We already both do 4 days a week but we do it as 10 in 9 so an alternating lieu day every other week. We did it to reduce bills but it works so well, can’t see us going back to normal hrs

Right now you won't get child benefit for a third child but this may change.

It reads like you want another child, so have it.

No you can get child benefit for 3+ children it’s child tax credit you can’t get if you’ve got more than 2

What do I want?

to live a good life, make memories, have good holidays

My only regret in life is not having a third child. But the teenage years are tough and I might not have managed to keep working full time if there'd been three. Also don't just assume it will be one degree. There may be Masters and PhDs too.

However, you comment @Newnamenewnamenewnamenew that you can't imagine retiring before 70. I might have said the same at 40. At 64 I have to pace and get much more tired. Planning to retire next year.

My kids are 11, 9 and 3.5. We had that gap between two and three because we couldn't look after three small children, childcare fees and just for our sanity.

My 11 year old does soccer on Monday nights, rugby Wednesday nights, Taekwondo Thursday nights, rugby training/matches Saturday mornings and soccer matches on Sundays and swimming on Sunday evenings.
He recently started competitive swimming so training is going to be another day of the week as well.

My 9 year old does taekwondo on Thursdays, rugby, soccer, swimming on Saturdays. Come Saturday evening, we're all exhausted.

My 3 year old doesn't do any activity yet. She's due to start swimming when she turns 5. Technically she only costs us clothes due to being a different sex.

I would budget for a cleaner and even get some laundry (bed linens) laundered externally to reduce the workload.
A few people have said up thread that three kids is a different ball game and I agree. My house was quiet with two but not anymore.
Come next year, I'll have one starting primary, one in upper primary and one starting secondary. Wish me luck!
I didn't mention the financial aspect as it seems to be covered already. Goodluck with your decision.