For not wanting our friend couple to bring baby over to our house?

[Samatha09]

Hello dear people, my good friend (lets call her Ava) had her first baby for 11 months ago. A sweet baby girl. Me and my partner used to invite ava and her partner over for dinner and game nights, movie nights and vica versa (before baby). Now we have mostly gone at their home, my and my partner prefer that. Also they have everything the baby needs at their home, changing table, dining chair, toys ect. We also don’t have a childproof home. Decorations at floor and that. Since i know they let baby crawl around to explore.

Don’t want baby to ruin our stuff like get spit up or for the baby to eat or choke on something. I kinda feel like they getting disapointed on us, but she also implies that it won’t be easy to play board games or watch a movie with baby around. So this may sound very asshole like but me and my partner don’t see the point of inviting them over if its all gonna be centred about the baby. Also i said to my friend that we don’t always need to have dinner at her home whenever we come over. We don’t expect dinner tbh.We also bring with us some snacks and sodas over.

Also i think its easier for them than having to bring tons of stuff over for the baby

I have 3 children and I completely agree.

Once my children were beyond that stage I had zero interest in keeping my house child proof.
When they were small we had people at ours.
Pre children we often brought take out to friends as repayment for previous meals.
Their baby was down and asleep, no paying a babysitter and we arrived with a gorgeous indian takeaway and wine.

It really worked.

When you choose not to have children then you really shouldn't be expected to child proof your home.

Her friends need to get that.

If you want to keep the friendship go to their house but offer to be the host ie: Order and pay for a takeaway or similar. It is probably easier for them in their own home at this point but tell them your reasoning.

Is this Chat GPT or something?

Chat GPT would be better written

It’s got us all frothing, though

Agree as well @AloneLike
If they can’t get a childminder then they could bring a playpen.

This reminds me of a friend visiting with their little one ( we had no kids ) and the dad went through the cupboards to find cooking pots and wooden spoons for them to play with because we hadn’t provided toys 🤣🤣

I would just end the friendship an let them find some real friends.

That is ridiculous. Your home sounds hazardous to adults never mind babies 😂 maybe tidy up luv.

It's just a baby, not a pack of wild dogs 🤣

I had one DC when I was very young (followed by another when I was very old).

My friend had two DC in relativity quick succession. Her youngest was 7 years older than DC 1, so I was well out of the baby stage when her youngest was a toddler.

I moved to a new house (it was rented) and she came with her toddler to look around. It kind of annoyed me as she turned up uninvited and she knew that I had another, mutual, friend visiting at the same time.

It was safe for such a youngster, as I'd barely unpacked, so there were no ornaments, etc, for her to find.

My friend didn't tell me she was toilet training the toddler, she didn't bring a potty even. Her DD was also still in a pram.

Our mutual friend was heavily pregnant and sitting down, so toddler friend came in to chat. I kept saying I was worried about leaving her DD in the kitchen, but she said she was fine and had toys.

We heard a hell of a bang, friend rushed to see her DD. I followed a few minutes later, after she called out to say everything was fine.

She had the pushchair up against the other internal kitchen door (there were two), but the door was now open and pushed against the door, with the door stay keeping it open - fine.

She was bringing her DD into the front room with us, when her DD suddenly peed herself on the floor by the front door - a floor I had new carpet laid the day before. Due to this she rushed off to get her DD home and changed, and left me to entertain pregnant friend and clear up a whole load of urine soaked carpet.

Pregnant friend and I went into the kitchen to further inspect the noise we'd heard, and I closed the door - which is when I noticed the NEW door was broken. The front panel of the door had been ripped off, I found the wood in the bin. I can only guess the pushchair had somehow been wedged under the door and when pulled it broke off. Friend had kept the door open to stop us seeing the damage.

I did confront friend about it, but she denied it, although it was fine before she arrived and random bits of wood don't put themselves into the bin.

I had to pay for a new door as it was a rented house and the doors were fitted prior to me moving in.

One day that Baby will grow up and pay your pension.. just saying!

I understand the OP, I wouldn't want to have a baby/toddler crawling round my house, grabbing stuff either.

You'll be on tenterhooks OP not able to enjoy yourself, watching the kid all the time.

Sometimes you just want/need adult time.

how rude!

It’s fine Op. But you need to accept they won’t be being UR if they chose to stop putting the effort into your friendship.

Oh FFS.

That baby while growing up will be the beneficiary of many benefits and societal infrastructures that the OP currently is paying for.

The new mum probably doesn’t get to go out and socialise much, she might be isolated - she will value your friendship and company just now.

In similar circumstances for about 6 years I used to alternately take food and cook for them in their home - worked brilliantly for all of us. Mum got a rest and good company and guests washed up.

Or let them come to yours as a one-off, sit back, relax - and leave parents to be on their feet and on alert for the duration - they might realise themselves that it’s easier at home.

Maybe think about offering them support and, y'know, being a decent friend rather than whether their kid will make a bit of a mess of your precious home.

Sounds like you aren't that fussed about doing that though, so better to just bin them off and find new friends.

What isn't? Keep digging.

Aye, and we’re paying for their care and education as they grow up. It’s the social contract.

You appear to suggesting that childless people must do everything requested of them by parents, in gratitude for them raising a future taxpayer, which is clearly bonkers.