For not wanting our friend couple to bring baby over to our house?

[Samatha09]

Hello dear people, my good friend (lets call her Ava) had her first baby for 11 months ago. A sweet baby girl. Me and my partner used to invite ava and her partner over for dinner and game nights, movie nights and vica versa (before baby). Now we have mostly gone at their home, my and my partner prefer that. Also they have everything the baby needs at their home, changing table, dining chair, toys ect. We also don’t have a childproof home. Decorations at floor and that. Since i know they let baby crawl around to explore.

Don’t want baby to ruin our stuff like get spit up or for the baby to eat or choke on something. I kinda feel like they getting disapointed on us, but she also implies that it won’t be easy to play board games or watch a movie with baby around. So this may sound very asshole like but me and my partner don’t see the point of inviting them over if its all gonna be centred about the baby. Also i said to my friend that we don’t always need to have dinner at her home whenever we come over. We don’t expect dinner tbh.We also bring with us some snacks and sodas over.

Also i think its easier for them than having to bring tons of stuff over for the baby

There are many parents on mumsnet, many of whom have popped up on this thread, who think the whole world should revolve around their offspring. This is the second thread of a similar vein within the space of a few days.

It is sheer arrogance on their part.

Let's say this divine child has the famous Mumsnet nappy explosion or leaky nappy on your sofa?

When they had a child they signed up to have their stuff ruined. You didn't and all these people insisting you should be happy to have your possessions ruined if you're a friend of theirs are just unbelievably conceited.

And if your pals are like these vile posters on this thread laying into you, then you're better off without them.

Are you anxious about other risks or just a baby less than a year old in your home? Not a snarky comment - just curious

Except 71% think YABU

At that point surely they’d (finally) hire a babysitter.
I don’t know anyone who drag they rugrats with them to see friends.
Yes, (new) moms meet with other (new) moms, but most understand that people want time with their friends alone.

These comments so far are really bizarre.

Good luck maintaining the friendship.

It is a bit precious in my view.

Do they actually want to come over?
I never really baby proofed my own home, I just say no or lifted something higher up.

You sound a bit miserable about them coming over surely they gave hot the message by now?

I have a toddler and don't think she's being unreasonable at all.

I wouldn't assume to think that just because I have chosen to have a child that my friends and family need to invest in baby proofing their homes or should accept any damage he may cause. That's on me.

Brilliantly said.

They have a baby now so hosting has become a huge effort for them.

How can you help with that if you still want them to host? Could you cook dinner and bring it round to theirs? Offer to get takeaway for everyone and pay?

They will still have to spend ages tidying beforehand but at least won't have to also cater for you.

The only reasonable thing in your post is you acknowledging you sound like an asshole. I hope this couple have a wide circle and aren't reliant on you two for friendship.

😂 I’d ditch you if you were my friend.

We still have movie nights and games nights with my little one. Friends don’t move their homes around, you just watch the baby. It’s not difficult between 4 of you.

You don’t value the friendship, and they’re better off without you.

Let's say this divine child has the famous Mumsnet nappy explosion or leaky nappy on your sofa?

Don't be rude. These babies only shit unicorn confetti remember

Why? I have things in my home because I like them or because they are sentimental. I'm childfree by choice and certainly don't want some child breaking or damaging my belongings. Thankfully my friends were happy for us to go to them when their kids were small. We had one visit to us but it didn't work out well so the arrangement was we went to them and either took part of the meal (they were happy to cook) or brought a takeaway.

I totally get not wanting children in my house destroying it, but don't try to make out as if you are doing them a favour. You don't have the childproof your home for a visit, that's an excuse. If you don't want to lose them as friends you probably need to have an honest conversation and say you will bring the food and drink to their house every second time so they aren't always paying to entertain you.

I have no idea how the human race has survived as long as it has what with every home other than those baby proofed to within an inch of its life being an apparent death trap 🙄. It all sounds so over the top.

As others have said, I think you need to make a decision about whether you're willing to put the effort into continuing this friendship. Your tone sounds very resentful towards them. I don't have any friends who I would begrudge childproofing one room for. It really is a minuscule amount of effort - unless your house is overly cluttered/dirty? You mention that the child might find things in your sofa. Surely you clean under the cushions every now and then?

Anyway, I'd ask yourself why you have friends who you don't seem to like.

Surely it's less hassle to host at theirs than to pack up the child and everything she needs and go somewhere else? And why do they have to spend ages tidying, doesn't anyone say 'take us as you find us'? As long as it's clean I wouldn't care how tidy then place was!

😂😂😂😂

I'd have thought baby would bring toys with them. A pre owned playpen cost peanuts.

Or maybe the parents bring a playpen

I think it's precious to assume that other people should adapt their homes or accept your child damaging their belongings by virtue of being born... 😬

It's not necessarily a matter of being "a death trap." I don't want my nice sofa and silk cushions and expensive rugs smeared with shit, or baby food, etc.

Babies are too disruptive for some types of homes. The parents are the ones who made the choice to have the baby and they are the ones who therefore need to make the sacrifices, including being bored of socializing in their own lounge for the toddler years. It's not forever. If they want to get out, they can offer to meet at the pub.

This is the second “let’s call her Ava” post in a few days. Are you the one who can’t let go of a falling out between your mum friends?
Just wondering as Ava is not exactly a common name among women in their 30s