Is this cheeky? Giving child a lift?

[Bubblegirly]

My DD aged 8 does a class every week and has for the last two years. Last week I ran into an old friend who I haven’t seen for around 3 years. She was bringing her DS for the first time. It was nice to catch up etc and we said see you next week.

ive just had a message asking if I can take and drop home her DS tomorrow as she is struggling to fit everything into her day. I’m like WTF? I only met DS last week for the first time. I’m going to say no but is this cheeky? It really feels it? It’s only his second week and I don’t want to set a precedent

@GreenButterBlackBean that's exactly how I feel. We're none of us totally self sufficient, I don't get this "everyone for themselves" approach, and certainly not the anger and bad language.

This. At 8 they are still young enough they do want their parents if they get hurt or upset.

If it was a friend with illness or difficulties with another child I absolutely would go out of my way to make it possible.

This is good. It establishes that if lifts are given it has to be reciprocal.

Hurt or upset? She has the mum's number in case of emergency.

how would your child not be a priority?

Goodness, who knows when any of us may need a helping hand. Not everybody has family who they can ask to help out. No wonder so many people are reluctant to reach out, with replies like yours.

Helping hand, getting to medical or dental appt. I’ll help
Poor planning regard an activity. Nope, that’s bad planning and I’m not a taxi
FWIW I fit actives around a FT role that includes unsocial hours and I don’t ask others to sort lifts or accommodate me

"Hey it was so great to see you last week. No problem picking DS up this week as a one off but I can't bring him home as we are going to Gran's/shopping/Istanbul immediately after."

I just feel a bit sad for them tbh. Hopefully people around me will continue to feel comfortable to ask me for help when needed. It’s a nicer place to live.

Obviously their panicked exit meant they didn’t anticipate they’d be gone so long. Probably expected dad would return home shortly. The priority was the pg woman was having a miscarriage Maybe they literally ran out the house . Panic and adrenaline impact judgement

I think I would do it the first time but if she asked again the next week I would say "Sorry can't do it this week, hope you find someone" so as not to start a habit.

Threads like this are the reason us anxious millennials tag “…it’s fine if not xxx” to the end of every message in which we ask for the tiniest thing!

@Zone2NorthLondon "
I’d say no because I’m not a taxi, I don’t want the hassle of accommodating another child who’s mum can’t be arsed because she’s too busy,but expects someone else to step up"

"Step up? You do know that she's not asking the OP to give her child a piggy back to the club? She's (in case you missed it) going there in her car anyway!

This

Yes it’s an expectation that someone else step up and drive her child as she too busy
Other mum wants the reliability and convenience of someone else collecting and dropping off her child because of her own inadequate planning
yea, that’s most definitely a step up. Chancer

Activity lift sharing makes life much easier if it’s shared. I’d do it this week and then see if you can alternate.

Perfect response.

If you want someone to do you a regular favour why wouldn't you offer something in return, instead of saying you need it because you are busy?

If they lived near/on route I'd collect them and take them home.

If this was expected weekly I'd not be able to, but I'd do one offs.

My sanity survived a tricky year with my youngest in and out of hospital vastly helped because others took my older children to events, their hobbies etc...

when i had my sudden catastropic and hugely traumatising mc, i had 2 children and my first priority was that they were ok and not left alone or whatever.

It is beyond belief that anyone would ignore a child of that age no matter what was going on - certainly not to the extent that they were home alone for several hours.

Or a simple "NO - because I dont want to"

It’s not a tiny thing to take another child to and from an activity every week.

I'd say something like 'I won't be able to help regularly, but I think I can do this week'.

That way you've made it clear that you can't commit, but you've banked a favour, and should you have a problem one week, you've can ask her in return.

She said ‘tomorrow’ not until all eternity. Jesus.

tbh i would have replied in the positive for this week and immediately followed up with "would you prefer to alternate weeks doing both ways, or shall we do it where one of us drops off and one picks up. We can alternate that"

Sales training comes in handy sometimes