to think men shouldn't be midwives

[igglepiggle599]

Just saying, I have nothing against the male midwives themselves. I'm sure they're amazing at what they do and are lovely, kind, caring people. They themselves are not actually the issue I have.

I think many women are uncomfortable with the idea of a male midwife for any number of reasons, and there's a good chance that any given woman will automatically feel uncomfortable when a male midwife walks in. I also find it very disingenuous when people say that they can simply request another midwife. I'm sure that's often true (though maternity units presumable don't have an infinite supply of midwives at any given time, so there's at least a hypothetical scenario in which this wouldn't be possible?). I don't think it's fair that women should be put in a situation where they have to speak up and say that they want a different midwife, particularly when they are extremely vulnerable and possibly in excruciating pain. I'm not a particularly shy or passive person, but I would find that conversation very difficult even when not in labour. I might panic in the moment and wonder whether that amounted to some kind of breach of equality laws, or I might be in such a state that I just didn't want to risk any kind of conflict. Ultimately I would end up with a birth that may well be smooth from a medical point of view but somewhat tainted emotionally, as I would know that an aspect of the situation made me uncomfortable and I hadn't felt able to say anything.

Also, is midwifery even the kind of profession that would actually benefit from gender diversity given that women are the ones who give birth? I'm sure these very talented, compassionate men would be just as valued in a different branch of nursing. Obviously there are male doctors who can end up delivering a baby, but somehow it feels different for men to train in a role that is so intimate.

Very much open to different perspectives.

I agree with this. I completely understand and respect why women might not want a male midwife but I also think there can sometimes be a perfunctory approach within all women teams and it would be good for all midwives, whatever sex, to check on the patient’s comfort and consent. No guarantee that a female midwife is a good one.

I must have missed the memo i just wanted whoever was capable to do the job they were trained for

I get tired of this is endless men all bad women all good thing

Being female does not make anyone better suited not had a better bedside manner and the female only idea gives even more to women are only good for breeding thing

I've had internal exams by male gynaes. Couldn't care less about the sex of someone doing a clinical procedure.

A midwife is different as there's a relationship built up over the course of the pregnancy and during labour. Pregnancy is a woman thing. A good midwife is someone who best meets the needs of the women, not the needs of DEI.

What?

It's "free at the point of use". You'd be paying whether you are using it or not.

So because she has a (valid) viewpoint that contradicts yours she's 'sexist and narrow-minded'
Of course she is.🙄

Got to be a Hairy Hand.
No one could be that stupid otherwise.

You don't think a midwife would be a better midwife after having her first baby?

I had a horrific miscarriage abroad and ended up in hospital on the verge of having to get a blood transfusion.

My male doctor was one of the nicest people I have ever encountered in all my life - I was in the depths of despair feeling extremely sorry for myself and he really helped me. He explained the operation I had to have and checked in on me regularly when I came around.

I think it's ridiculous to say men shouldn't become midwives/doctors etc in same way its ridiculous to say women shouldn't work in tech or be mechanics.

I gave birth in the USA where they don't have midwives deliver the baby, but nurses who look after you, then an OBGYN (gynaecologist basically), pops up at the end to tell you how and when to push and catch the baby. I don't say deliver, because my body did all the delivering. Mine was so horrible and callus and another male OBGYN had to come in the day before and speak to me and support me, as she was fighting me over some of my decisions. He was so lovely, empowering and supportive and I wished that I'd been able to choose him as my OGGYN. I wouldn't have cared at all about him seeing my bits in that situation. There's other women present anyway. He even came to check on me and dd in the recovery ward off his own back, whereas my own OBGYN didn't. I couldn't choose because it wasn't the hospital I had had my prenatal care at. I switched hospitals for the birth because the original hospital experience was ridiculously traumatic.

Although I respect that all women have different preferences and should have the choice. I think the issue is we aren't educated in the fact that we are allowed to change doctors/midwives if we are uncomfortable. The nice male OBGYN certainly educated me on holding my ground with my choices and that I was in charge of the delivery, not the nurses. Perhaps, looking back, he was also hinting on my ability to ask for a different practitioner, but I didn't pick up on it at the time.

This.

My friend ended up with PTSD after an awful birth in which there was a female midwife who was borderline verbally abusive towards her.

I had a male doctor who came in to monitor my first as I think they were worried about little ones heartbeat, though they didn't tell me, and he was really bloody amazing, so encouraging and lovely. Had to stitch me up after a tear and made me comfortable, informing me of everything he was doing as he was doing it etc.

YABVU. You don't extend your opinion to male obstetricians or male fertility doctors. I've had excellent care from male NHS personnel for fertility issues, pregnancy and birth.

You say that women are better because they have babies. Dies that mean female midwives who haven't had children should be excluded too?

What a ridiculous attitude.

Same
I went through quite a few.midwives during my 1st labour and were dreadful. If settle for a competent caring one regardless of gender.
Ime men have always been more understanding with all things fanny related. Worst smear I ever had was by a female gp.

Nowhere did I say that women are better because they have had babies. That literally has not featured anywhere in my argument at all.

I think it’s dangerous for midwives to assume just because they’ve given birth they know everything about birth. Anecdote is not data. Every birth is different.

YABU and big up again to the Male Midwife maybe more now at Lister Stevenage

There's lots of evidence that diversity on workforces improves decision making.and problem solving and encourages innovation and different perspectives. I think one of the major problems with midwifery as a profession at the moment is it is stuck in particular ways of thinking that it just cannot seem to move away from despite widespread public criticism and several major scandals. There just doesn't seem to be any challenge within the profession, it's very self-congratulatory. I genuinely think the perspectives of male midwives (and, I hasten to add, not just male - other forms of diversity too, particularly ethnic) would start to shift thinking.

In labour you don't care (or notice) what midwife you have!

I had a male doctor stitch me up afterwards, didn't bother me.

This example is exactly where it becomes problematic for me. I don’t have an issue with male midwives but women should have a right to choose female midwife without having to have a reason and without any judgement from anyone.

If he can’t understand or respect that then he’s in the wrong job.

Yes, obviously they need the training too and unless she's a moron she'll understand that her experiences, while having a lot in common with other women, will be unique to her but of course you can be better at providing a service to someone if you have had need of that service yourself.

This is a really interesting point - I didn't think of this. Thanks for bringing it up!

omg how sour?

Do you feel the same about male undertakers?

This thread! I have woken up back in 1964!!

The two female midwives who dealt with me obviously had a compassion bypass and were two of the nastiest people I've had the misfortune to deal with. Almost 18 years later I still remember how I was treated. I wouldn't have cared if they were male or female if they'd have shown even a tiny sliver of kindness.

My female gynae also minimised my issues and the first doctor to take me serious was male. He showed understanding and actually seemed like he cared. My female gynae's attitude was some women have bad periods deal with it. The male listened and discovered adenomyosis, endometriosis, fibroids and PCOS. Quite a bit to deal with and definitely not normal.

What what?

TF!!!