to think men shouldn't be midwives

[igglepiggle599]

Just saying, I have nothing against the male midwives themselves. I'm sure they're amazing at what they do and are lovely, kind, caring people. They themselves are not actually the issue I have.

I think many women are uncomfortable with the idea of a male midwife for any number of reasons, and there's a good chance that any given woman will automatically feel uncomfortable when a male midwife walks in. I also find it very disingenuous when people say that they can simply request another midwife. I'm sure that's often true (though maternity units presumable don't have an infinite supply of midwives at any given time, so there's at least a hypothetical scenario in which this wouldn't be possible?). I don't think it's fair that women should be put in a situation where they have to speak up and say that they want a different midwife, particularly when they are extremely vulnerable and possibly in excruciating pain. I'm not a particularly shy or passive person, but I would find that conversation very difficult even when not in labour. I might panic in the moment and wonder whether that amounted to some kind of breach of equality laws, or I might be in such a state that I just didn't want to risk any kind of conflict. Ultimately I would end up with a birth that may well be smooth from a medical point of view but somewhat tainted emotionally, as I would know that an aspect of the situation made me uncomfortable and I hadn't felt able to say anything.

Also, is midwifery even the kind of profession that would actually benefit from gender diversity given that women are the ones who give birth? I'm sure these very talented, compassionate men would be just as valued in a different branch of nursing. Obviously there are male doctors who can end up delivering a baby, but somehow it feels different for men to train in a role that is so intimate.

Very much open to different perspectives.

Oh, you would have a fun birth with my best friend who was born with a vagina and is now a hairy bearded man with a deep voice. I'd love to be a fly on a wall in that delivery room.

Hahahaha, it's probs not the first question you would ask (were you born with a vagina?) when you are in labour, as people born with a vagina about to bear a child know

I'm going to suggest that male midwives would be a positive change to midwifery in general.

Women think differently to men, men are far more sexually driven, far more visual. And most assaults are committed by men.

Women of course don't see any other reason for being a midwife as to help and care for women and babies. Men do not have this natural maternal instinct. So yes it is suspicious that they'd choose to enter this profession.

It is sensible as women in a very vulnerable time - of giving birth to want to protect ourselves and feel comfortable. It's not silly to dismiss these real concerns.

I wonder why everyone who works with vulnerable people has to get a disclosure check then?

This

Actually I think it does, if it's just blind prejudice, but you do you. As I say, I'd rather have access to a male midwife than no midwife, seeing as there's a plethora of them just waiting to be recruited.

I think women should have a choice. Some may not be comfortable with a male midwife for perfectly valid reasons, and this should be respected. I don’t think that’s a reason to completely ban male midwives though. Personally I wouldn’t have cared. The male doctor that helped me while I was giving birth was the only one who was nice to me. The two female midwifes had for hours been calling me lazy and telling me I was doing everything wrong. I felt extremely uncomfortable with them and the fact that they were female made no difference.

Which male midwives are also subject to???

Now that would be a turn up for the “ban male midwives” brigade 😭

I had female midwives that weren't that great tbh. I was left pushing for far too long, one told me my baby was totally bald (I'd been shown his hair on a scan a week before) and argued no she could see the top of his bald head. Turned out he wasn't coming out because he was face up and was actually his forehead 🫣 only when the male obstetrician came in did things progress and I was rushed away to have his delivered by forceps.
I had bleeding at one point in pregnancy,and another male obstetrician had to check my cervix with a light shining up me, it was slightly embarrassing but in the end it's their job, I don't really care.

Omg why are people so angry that some women don’t want a male healthcare worker in certain situations?? How does it affect you? honestly it’s so weird.

Im fine that some women are happy with a male midwife so why does it matter that I’m not personally comfortable with it?

I think that is incredibly insulting to men who have chosen to work in this field.

Personally, I have no objection to make midwives but I do understand that some women do find this difficult.

I never understand why midwifery is a separate profession from nursing. It’s not really like occupational therapy or physio

No, she is a hairy bearded woman with testosterone induced induced vocal changes.

I couldn't have given a flying shit only that you chose to air that in a public forum. You do you.

I'll never need a midwife again lol, but I thought society was moving forwards not back.

Why do you think that is?

I think the clue is in the job title, ergo Wife.

It was a role that developed in history, of women who were only qualified by virtue of their own birth experiences.

I would go as far as to say move away from the medical model of child birth and midwives should be required to have themselves experienced birth.

Medical supervision for sure, but not medicalisation.

I don't care if it's insulting, it's common sense. Ask any man about men who'd go into midwifery as a profession.

With my first child I went to a birthing class run by a district/hospital midwife from Basildon hospital - I was so scared after I was tempted to jump out of the car on the way home, there can be some really rubbish female midwifes.

I don’t care. It is not about them.

For the same reason as female midwives are? Why do you think that is?

Your friend is still a woman, an adult human female. Beards and a deep voice don’t make your friend a man.

Absolutely crazy suggestion. Do you expect the doctors and nurses you see to have experienced every ailment they have treated? Sorry doc, you’ve never had a broken leg, you couldn’t possibly understand. Midwives need to be trained and knowledgeable, not harking back to an individual experience.

That's not my view but you are entitled to yours. However, this doesn't really resolve the conundrum of him attending your birth and what sort of proof you may require of his gender.
Not to mention whether you requiring any proof would actually be considered legal. I highly doubt you'd just take "her" word for it in any case.