to think men shouldn't be midwives

[igglepiggle599]

Just saying, I have nothing against the male midwives themselves. I'm sure they're amazing at what they do and are lovely, kind, caring people. They themselves are not actually the issue I have.

I think many women are uncomfortable with the idea of a male midwife for any number of reasons, and there's a good chance that any given woman will automatically feel uncomfortable when a male midwife walks in. I also find it very disingenuous when people say that they can simply request another midwife. I'm sure that's often true (though maternity units presumable don't have an infinite supply of midwives at any given time, so there's at least a hypothetical scenario in which this wouldn't be possible?). I don't think it's fair that women should be put in a situation where they have to speak up and say that they want a different midwife, particularly when they are extremely vulnerable and possibly in excruciating pain. I'm not a particularly shy or passive person, but I would find that conversation very difficult even when not in labour. I might panic in the moment and wonder whether that amounted to some kind of breach of equality laws, or I might be in such a state that I just didn't want to risk any kind of conflict. Ultimately I would end up with a birth that may well be smooth from a medical point of view but somewhat tainted emotionally, as I would know that an aspect of the situation made me uncomfortable and I hadn't felt able to say anything.

Also, is midwifery even the kind of profession that would actually benefit from gender diversity given that women are the ones who give birth? I'm sure these very talented, compassionate men would be just as valued in a different branch of nursing. Obviously there are male doctors who can end up delivering a baby, but somehow it feels different for men to train in a role that is so intimate.

Very much open to different perspectives.

Are you really asking this?

No I was suggesting that’s where you could put your requirements

So, let's assume there is an overwhelming majority of women who do indeed object to having a male midwife. They do, I note, have a choice of requesting a female midwife. Why is that that the minority of women who are comfortable or even prefer a male midwife shouldn't be allowed to receive the care they prefer? They are already at a disadvantage because they do not have the same opportunity to request a specific gender. They will not have any option to exercise their right to choose if we get rid of male midwives altogether. What is your opinion on that?

Wow that's an amazingly insensitive and victim blaming and shaming post, as well as misogynistic. I actually gasped reading that.

My female midwife fell asleep at the end of my bed after telling me I needed to push during a failure to progress labour.

To be honest I stopped letting female nurses carry out smears for me decades ago. They were not competent, they did not respect my dignity, and they were not gentle.

You are incredibly naive and should never have responsibility for safeguarding.

All down to male midwives?

This comment is absolutely terrifying. Are you really that ignorant,

You think women who have been sexually assaulted can never have future sexual relationships, get married and have children unless they’re also happy for a stranger to touch their genitals in a clinic setting?

Not at all. I was making the point that my primary concern is having the best person for the job. Therefore when I book my next smear test, I will actively choose to book with the person who caused me least pain. It just so happens that he was male.

Choice is the key. I’d like the choice of who I’m treated by.

i know it’s appalling. Genuinely shocked and depressed to see attitudes like this.

I had a male midwife when I gave birth to my daughter 40 years ago and he was great.

Men

WTF have I just read?!

Because they are in an obvious minority. Do you really think that the number of women who would prefer a male midwife even compares to the number of women who would opt for a female?

It's simply impossible to accommodate every preference, particularly when the number of midwives that match that criteria is low. You have to focus on the ones that affect a significant number of people.

I believe the onus is on those uncomfortable with male midwives to make that known and request a female one, even if that is a difficult conversation for some to have, over barring men being able to become midwives.

So How would you feel if a female midwife was looking after you and was gay?? op

I've already answered this. Fine.

Ah, the homophobes have arrived.

Oh FFS! Are you seriously asking this? Unbelievable!

A GAY female midwife is not a MAN!

Give me strength FFS!

.

There's enough creepy Doctors, so why would I take the risk with a male midwife?

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/feb/07/gp-manish-shah-sexually-assaulted-24-patients-given-three-life-sentences

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/12-years-for-gp-who-filmed-sex-assaults-on-female-patients-with-james-bondstyle-watch-8628393.html

I am not sure what you mean by that.
I used to work in a kid's hospital and did various courses on safeguarding. None mentioned male staff being an inherent danger.

It's difficult.

I must admit that I don't really understand why men would want to become midwives. Midwives are not doctors, they don't step in and help after 30 hours, as people on here are describing. Midwives are there to support and help the woman to give birth. People are talking as if giving birth is just another medical procedure, but it really isn't. Active labour is, well, active! Whether you cared about a man examining you or performing a procedure on you doesn't really relate to the question of how able women are to actively birth a baby if they feel unsafe. How the woman feels is a massive part of the birth going well. And it just is the case that many women in vulnerable positions might not feel comfortable around men.

There's no point acting like we don't live in a society where men make vulnerable women feel uncomfortable. Of course they do. Many of us have had the experience of suddenly feeling unsafe in the presence of an unknown man. There's strong cultural norms against getting undressed in front of men. And for many women, the main source of affection and hands on help outside of their family is from women, in friendships and extended family.

I am one of the women who said no to a male midwife being in the room. He was training. My midwife asked me if I minded a trainee be present, and said that he hadn't seen a birth yet. As soon as I heard the male pronoun I said no. But I'm not sure they would have asked me if he had been qualified already.

Again, these people already have an opportunity to state their preferences. So no, I don't see how everyone else should be deprived of their right to choose.
We could open a wider conversation about other minority groups dealing with other societal issues. I am sure your answer wouldn't be "you are in a minority so just lump it".

I'm amazed at how many people have had a good experience with a male midwife given there's less than 200 of them covering the whole of the uk. Whatever else you say about them, they're clearly grafters who get about a bit to have so many satisfied customers on this thread alone.