to think men shouldn't be midwives

[igglepiggle599]

Just saying, I have nothing against the male midwives themselves. I'm sure they're amazing at what they do and are lovely, kind, caring people. They themselves are not actually the issue I have.

I think many women are uncomfortable with the idea of a male midwife for any number of reasons, and there's a good chance that any given woman will automatically feel uncomfortable when a male midwife walks in. I also find it very disingenuous when people say that they can simply request another midwife. I'm sure that's often true (though maternity units presumable don't have an infinite supply of midwives at any given time, so there's at least a hypothetical scenario in which this wouldn't be possible?). I don't think it's fair that women should be put in a situation where they have to speak up and say that they want a different midwife, particularly when they are extremely vulnerable and possibly in excruciating pain. I'm not a particularly shy or passive person, but I would find that conversation very difficult even when not in labour. I might panic in the moment and wonder whether that amounted to some kind of breach of equality laws, or I might be in such a state that I just didn't want to risk any kind of conflict. Ultimately I would end up with a birth that may well be smooth from a medical point of view but somewhat tainted emotionally, as I would know that an aspect of the situation made me uncomfortable and I hadn't felt able to say anything.

Also, is midwifery even the kind of profession that would actually benefit from gender diversity given that women are the ones who give birth? I'm sure these very talented, compassionate men would be just as valued in a different branch of nursing. Obviously there are male doctors who can end up delivering a baby, but somehow it feels different for men to train in a role that is so intimate.

Very much open to different perspectives.

Absolutely- however, the chief midwifery officer has always been a (brilliant) woman. Because women hold the positions of power in midwifery.

The fact that even some women would prefer not to have a man is reason enough to exclude men from this one job. Giving birth is a uniquely female experience and there is no good reason why men should need a career based in it, given all the countless alternatives open to them. The very best argument from women in favour is "I wouldn't mind" which is hardly a compelling reason when balanced against other women's preferences. I mean other than 'don't be sexist to men'...just...why?

Midwives perform a much bigger role in the woman’s pregnancy and labour overall than obstetricians. From all those pre-natal appointments, to monitoring you throughout labour, to helping the baby latch on for the first time and continued breastfeeding support thereafter, to checking birth injuries at home…

Consultants on the other hand tend to just swoop in, do their bit, and swoop out again. Much more like a typical interaction with a surgeon essentially. Although I’m sure some women would still prefer a female obstetrician over a male, I don’t think it’s really a comparable situation.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 nailed it !

That is the biggest load of baloney!!!

In the UK 1 in 4 women have been raped or sexually assaulted.

In a world where at least a quarter of women have had such distress and trauma from males, is it any wonder that many are just not comfortable or happy having a male healthcare worker for intimate procedures? It’s just a natural consequence 🤷‍♀️

I just don’t understand why so many women seem to get offended on behalf of men if other women dare say this and refuse to put up and shut up? Direct your anger at the fact this statistic exists! Not at other women.

if you said "just saying I have nothing against the black midvives themselves".

Where did you dredge that out of?

I had a male midwife. He was training so that he could return to the Carribean and help women there. He was wonderful... very calm. He spent a lot of time talking about fishing with my husband which was exactly what was needed to keep him calm... it let me get on with things.

In the case of my sister asking, it was met with the slamming down of a file and huffing and puffing while he stormed out. I'm not exaggerating either, a proper strop. It was absolutely not rudely requested either. It was in the notes from the first appointment. If he knew the reasons I think he would have been more understanding and sympathetic, but she shouldn't have to go into graphic and upsetting detail to appease someone else's feelings while in active labour. It definitely wasn't personal towards him or his skills. It did actually really upset her as well.
As I've previously said, I would be comfortable myself with a male midwife and don't think they should be excluded from midwifery. I had one horrendous female midwife!

The obs is actually hoking around in your innards, and you've no kaks on so....!!

If the man was having an intimate examination - yes of course, what a silly question

I had a male midwife after multiple female midwives checking on me he finally got things moving. Realised my baby was in danger and technically saved his life. I would have possibly thought it was a bit odd but all positive in my experience.

Having a penis and testicle is a uniquely male thing, and I’m sure there are plenty of men who would prefer that female doctors go nowhere near that area. Does that mean that women should be excluded from any job where they would have to examine or operate upon a penis?

My initial 'How do you know' was rhetorical. I didn't demand a strictly literal answer and when answering your question I gave the only information that I believed was relevant to the debate. I was making the exact same point - that I CAN'T know.

YABU, I don't agree any job should be restricted by sex. That's going backwards.

I had a male midwife on my first I had no issues with his professional support. I had a woman on the second. I honestly preferred him. He was more craic

I fully agree women should be asked and in a space a long way before delivery.

Bullshit!

This should not even be an "opinion". It's beyond ridiculous. They're scarce enough without excluding half the population!!!

And >99% of men have no desire to do the job. Lots of women wouldn't make good midwives, quite a few who are working in the field.

It depends on the woman. As you've seen from this thread, some women are comfortable with it and some aren't.

If a woman isn't comfortable then she can request a woman. Which is standard in healthcare anyway.

All men have big hands? All women's hands are smaller?

Seriously?

men can request another male for dignity/privacy etc it’s not an issue. The need for female-only care is much much bigger though as it’s a completely different dynamic.

I had a male paed, male doing my epidural, male obstetrician all in around delivery. Fine with that. I think a male midwife I'd be fine with too if it wasn't my first labour. I think it's the fear of the unknown when you have your first baby. Sorry but to be honest I'd not want a man delivering my first baby. You put it top of your notes. In fact actually they are teens. Had students at all of my births

I think the misogyny is on you.

This^^

The “but in that case what about lesbians” straw man arguments don’t really work either when women generally don’t rape/sexually assault other women.

Women should always be able to request a female doctor/nurse for whatever reason - the problem is that a lot of women won’t feel confident enough to do that especially if they are young/in immense pain/in the hazy hormone-induced state that is childbirth/having just given birth.

Id have no problem requesting a female midwife but many women wouldn’t want to cause “a fuss”.

Aren't the vast majority of babies procured due to the intimate joining of a man and woman and arise from an act of love. That may be old fashioned but it's how mine came about and bearing in mind the intimate role of a man in making the baby I have no issue with a man helping deliver the baby. I find the thought of being touched intimately by a woman more inappropriate than by a man.

Oh I know that’s all very gross although just stomach and incision area were exposed
Its not the same as sticking there fingers / hands up your bits, flashlights and all

Vaginal for me was worse in terms of dignity, that’s all.