to think men shouldn't be midwives

[igglepiggle599]

Just saying, I have nothing against the male midwives themselves. I'm sure they're amazing at what they do and are lovely, kind, caring people. They themselves are not actually the issue I have.

I think many women are uncomfortable with the idea of a male midwife for any number of reasons, and there's a good chance that any given woman will automatically feel uncomfortable when a male midwife walks in. I also find it very disingenuous when people say that they can simply request another midwife. I'm sure that's often true (though maternity units presumable don't have an infinite supply of midwives at any given time, so there's at least a hypothetical scenario in which this wouldn't be possible?). I don't think it's fair that women should be put in a situation where they have to speak up and say that they want a different midwife, particularly when they are extremely vulnerable and possibly in excruciating pain. I'm not a particularly shy or passive person, but I would find that conversation very difficult even when not in labour. I might panic in the moment and wonder whether that amounted to some kind of breach of equality laws, or I might be in such a state that I just didn't want to risk any kind of conflict. Ultimately I would end up with a birth that may well be smooth from a medical point of view but somewhat tainted emotionally, as I would know that an aspect of the situation made me uncomfortable and I hadn't felt able to say anything.

Also, is midwifery even the kind of profession that would actually benefit from gender diversity given that women are the ones who give birth? I'm sure these very talented, compassionate men would be just as valued in a different branch of nursing. Obviously there are male doctors who can end up delivering a baby, but somehow it feels different for men to train in a role that is so intimate.

Very much open to different perspectives.

Indeed she is! It's not a "valid" viewpoint - it's like something out of the dark fucking ages!

Really? None of the midwives who saw me (in hospital and at home) for 5 days realised why I couldn't breastfeed. All told me that they had children of their own.

It took a breastfeeding consultant I saw as an emergency to find out that DD was tongue tied.

I want support from a medical professional who has the knowledge, I don't care what is between their legs.
I am not saying that male midwives or doctors have better knowledge but being a female healthcare professional does not automatically makes you a wonder woman.

Childbirth was never for me a magical experience only to be shared with females, it was for me a semi-medical procedure to get the baby out of my body.

No not necessarily. The best midwives are those who are dedicated, highly trained and experienced.

Are you saying that a heart surgeon can only be effective if he's had a heart attack???

It isn't the case. Not sure it ever was. I had a wonderful breast exam with a male technician who wasn't exactly a spring chicken and a subsequent breast examination with a male consultant. They were both absolutely wonderful and it would be a real shame to not have them working in the clinic due to some outdated customs.

There's no reason why I would have an issue with black midwives, and I obviously don't. In contrast I have used several posts explaining why I would/do have an issue with male midwives.

The women who visited me at home following my births were bitchy and gossipy in the extreme. A complete drain on my already limited energy. I knew if they were prepared to gossip about other women they were visiting to me, then I’d be included in the gossip by the time they got to the next house.

So long as they are qualified and good at their job then really there doesn’t need to be a choice available!! Surely the NHS is stretched enough as it is without having different options of the sex of your midwife.

I had a male midwife for part of my labour with 2nd, and he was excellent. Very knowledgeable, caring and listened to me, much better than the female one I had.
But the female obstetrician I had was better than the male.
I dont think we can say that how good someone is at their job is linked to their gender.
We have a right to express a preference, whilst acknowledging that it may not be possible to grant this due to the needs of all the women giving birth at the same time.

I’ve given birth 3 times, by far the best midwife I had was a man!!! Absolutely fantastic, so calming, especially since my husband had been rushed to another hospital in an ambulance!

@GreenSkiesAtNight I struggle with the logic about a midwife being better at their job for having had their own child; that would be like saying a cancer nurse who had had cancer would be better? Or a surgeon who had had their appendix removed would be better at appendectomies? It’

I think @Lincoln24 nailed it. Midwifery can be a horrible, bitchy environment. The only male midwife I ever experienced (as a student midwife) was wonderful and he changed the dynamic for the better.

Comments about nefarious motives are laughable, midwifery degrees are ridiculously difficult, time consuming, and emotionally draining. There are far easier ways for perverted men to get access to vulnerable women.

Having said all of that, I firmly believe that it should be a woman’s choice, and a simple tick box on notes would do that.

When I was born there was a trainee male midwife in the delivery suite and I was the first birth he had ever witnessed. My mum remembers he got very emotional. I came out screaming so I hope I didn’t put him off his chosen career!

I’ve not had children but I have had a lot of bladder procedures so have had numerous male doctors peering down at my nether regions and it’s honestly never bothered me.

A male midwife wouldn’t concern me personally but I’m quite chilled out about that sort of stuff.

This thread is updating really fast so you probably typed that quickly not thinking. I get what you're trying to say but it's a horrible analogy as black women are women (obviously).

I don't think male midwives should be banned.

However, if a woman in labour does not feel safe, it has a significant impact on her birth. It can slow the progress of the birth, and lead to her having interventions. If a woman doesn't have the confidence to say she doesn't want a male midwife, that could significantly change her birth experience. Is that fair on her?

Bothered me not one bit.

Does this mean it would be unacceptable for female health professionals to treat anything male-specific related?

Who’s getting a free service? I only know people who’ve had midwives paid for through taxes or insurance.

Chief midwifery officer?

I don't think you should have a problem with a competent midwife, male or not

Midwife is not covered by the equality legislation in the way that a Catholic priest is. Please look up the Equality Act 2010.

I've never met a male midwife myself so I feel like this is very much a non-issue in the UK

However, women are completely within their right to refuse a male midwife. When I had my first baby I was 22, suffered with severe anxiety and was terrified - I said I didn't want any students (that wish was respected). Now I'm 29 and having my 4th baby and more than happy to have students and I also wouldn't care less if there was a male midwife delivering the baby.

So, by that token, a mental health counsellor won't be effective if they haven't had mental health issues themselves?

A teacher who hasn't got any children shouldn't be teaching...

Would you ever listen to yourself!

By chance, I had one midwife who was at each one of my three births. She had her first baby after I had my last. She was totally professional and caring. I don't think having her own child would have made her any different. What tosh!

Makes a lot of sense, I know it’s just a sort of knee-jerk bias.

I'm not saying a cancer doctor who'd had cancer would necessarily be better than other cancer doctors but yes, I totally believe they would be a better cancer doctor than they had been before they had cancer.

@GreenSkiesAtNight
I didn’t have any relationship with the complete strangers at the hospital that delivered my first.

Does anyone? Here in the UK, unless it’s a Home birth.

In terms of c sections I think it’s a bit different. I’ve had one of those as well and to be honest I have no idea who was down that end behind the curtain except someone I spotted eating a sandwich watching on! ( Think it may have been one of the paediatricians ? ). Nevertheless the point is, for me anyway, I don’t feel a C-section is as personal as a vaginal birth given that the babies aren’t born from there.

My male midwife was fabulous - I couldn't care less who's got their hand in my cervix when I'm in labour so long as they've trained to do so.

My female midwife was an uncaring piece of shit, my male midwife did nothing but reassure me

Well that's just it, isn't it? A personal preference. You can exercise your personal preference at any point. It really doesn't mean men should be banned from the profession as a blanket rule. I have a personal preference for a male midwife and you are proposing to rob me of my right to choose (not that I currently can choose but at least I am in with a small chance of getting what I prefer).