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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH pisses around toilet

263 replies

PissoirPissedOff · 28/11/2024 21:20

We moved into our new home and the first thing I did was to clean the bathroom, including disinfecting the toilet area which was covered in mouldy spots. Within about an hour, DH had pissed all over the rim of the toilet and the floor just under the toilet had a small puddle of piss. I have asked him not to do this, just to wipe it dry when he misses the bowl. He says this is not his job.

I'm not particularly OCD about this sort of thing, I just like a clean bathroom and would prefer to clean it just once a week rather than daily/hourly.

I AM being unreasonable = This is beyond the scope of what is expected of a normal male in his own home.

I am NOT being unreasonable = Why can't he just make that small effort (quick wipe with tissues) so that I don't have to clean the toilet every day, and to save me getting my toes wet in a puddle of his piss?

OP posts:
Fernticket · 28/11/2024 22:41

Thatnameistaken · 28/11/2024 21:34

He's vile, I'd match his vileness by cleaning it up with his toothbrush...

THIS!
Your Husband is a bloody disgusting dirty git!
I don't know how you have kept from strangling him. If he was mine, he wouldn't be able to pee standing up by the time I had finished with him🤬

Toastghost · 28/11/2024 22:41

Animals belong outside

ThatTealViewer · 28/11/2024 22:42

PissoirPissedOff · 28/11/2024 22:38

He knows I clean the bathroom once a week and doesn't see why it can't wait until then.

So, it’s your job? ‘What men do’ is ‘make a mess involving bodily secretions and expect their skivvy to sort it out’? Why doesn’t he clean the bathroom once a week and deal with a week’s worth of urine?

Seriously, why are you tolerating this nonsense? You cannot think this is acceptable? You must recognise the magnitude of the disrespect you’re being shown?

helgel · 28/11/2024 22:42

Just use his towel and put it back on the towel rail.....every...single...time.

BurgundyBear · 28/11/2024 22:42

PissoirPissedOff · 28/11/2024 22:35

Because it's what men do, apparently....?!?!!

No man I’ve ever lived with.

edit - pissing & missing is rank.

Neggroni · 28/11/2024 22:42

PissoirPissedOff · 28/11/2024 22:38

He knows I clean the bathroom once a week and doesn't see why it can't wait until then.

🤢 🤮

Zebedee999 · 28/11/2024 22:43

PissoirPissedOff · 28/11/2024 22:35

Because it's what men do, apparently....?!?!!

Nope. Men I know that cannot aim straight SIT DOWN. It's what decent men do in the home.

Breadcat24 · 28/11/2024 22:43

suggest he gets a medical exam if he has a spray nozzle instead of a jet.

HeadacheEarthquake · 28/11/2024 22:43

Has he always done this? If so, why would you marry that

Balloonhearts · 28/11/2024 22:45

Have you told him that no men don't do this. Toddlers do this. My 4 year old knows to wipe if he misses.

Does he expect you to find him attractive when you're literally wiping up his piss like his mother? I would spell this out for him and then if he still doesn't get it, I'd end the relationship because it absolutely smacks of disrespect towards you.

Zebedee999 · 28/11/2024 22:48

Balloonhearts · 28/11/2024 22:45

Have you told him that no men don't do this. Toddlers do this. My 4 year old knows to wipe if he misses.

Does he expect you to find him attractive when you're literally wiping up his piss like his mother? I would spell this out for him and then if he still doesn't get it, I'd end the relationship because it absolutely smacks of disrespect towards you.

To be honest there is no reason boys can't be taught to sit down in the home. Outside the home at urinals or in the wild up against a tree then fine stand up, but in the home sit down!

Concernedfriend2023 · 28/11/2024 22:48

That's absolute madness. My 7 year old cleans up any splashes without ever having to be asked. And I wouldn't describe him as a particularly helpful child 😂

RampantIvy · 28/11/2024 22:49

Why can't he aim properly? DH is 72 and never misses.

Do you think there may be a medical reason that he misses?

If he can't aim properly he needs to sit down.

Radiatorvalves · 28/11/2024 22:49

I live with 3 men (well DH and 20 and 17 yo. None of them fo this. And the 17 yo is the laziest boy. Nor does my 80+ yo dad who has water works issues. He sits down.

tell DH this is NOT NORMAL. What does he do at friends’ houses? Gross.

Notaurewhy · 28/11/2024 22:50

PissoirPissedOff · 28/11/2024 22:35

Because it's what men do, apparently....?!?!!

@PissoirPissedOff How long have you been together? Did he do this when he visited at your respective houses? I'm presuming that you've "dated, created a relationship and taking it to the next level and this is a new house for the 2 of you together? Or I may be wrong and you have lived together before and this is a new family home?

BreadInCaptivity · 28/11/2024 22:50

If he won't clean up after himself and thinks it's your job then my response would be either:

  • divorce
  • agree to clean his piss but the manner in which I do so would be mine to choose. This would involve using his favourite clothing as a cloth, his towel to dry everything and his toothbrush as a scrubber. I would also use his aftershave as a room freshener.
SuchiRolls · 28/11/2024 22:51

Call his mummy and tell her she needs to come and get her toddler and clean up his piss. I’m petty so I’d prob leave something that looks like blood on the seat for him and give him the same answer he gave you when he says it’s disgusting. Unbelievable!

gamerchick · 28/11/2024 22:51

What is with the pee threads tonight anyway?

RampantIvy · 28/11/2024 22:52

This would involve using his favourite clothing as a cloth, his towel to dry everything and his toothbrush as a scrubber. I would also use his aftershave as a room freshener.

Love this Grin

PissoirPissedOff · 28/11/2024 22:52

HeadacheEarthquake · 28/11/2024 22:43

Has he always done this? If so, why would you marry that

We used to live somewhere that he pissed off the balcony into a forest. Quite honestly, I've just realised, I think he's adapting to living indoors! I'll show him this thread in the morning. Fingers crossed 🤞

OP posts:
WineIsMyMainVice · 28/11/2024 22:54

Dotto · 28/11/2024 22:39

He's a thick, disgusting pig. And what are you going to do about this?

So if he’s going to do this once/twice or 3 times a day, he thinks this is a reasonable length of time to allow that a mount of piss to build up a stink/filth over a week, waiting for the weekly clean? Your bathroom is going to absolutely stink!!!
The worst part is that he still expects YOU to clean it!!! I’ve seriously heard it all now…. I pity you if you put up with this.

thequeenoftarts · 28/11/2024 22:54

Title: Sit Down, Buddy

(Verse 1)
He’s a grown man, but he can’t seem to see,
Left the toilet seat wet like it’s a mystery.
Mom never taught him how to clean up right,
Now we’ve got a bathroom mess every night.

(Chorus)
Oh buddy, you gotta sit down—
Lift that lid without lettin’ it drown!
Wipe it up before you go away,
Don’t leave that wet mark for another day!

(Verse 2)
Small in size but big on fuss,
When he takes aim it's just not his plus.
But standing's not an option; it's all outta reach—
So why can't he learn from this little speech?

(Chorus)
Oh buddy, you gotta sit down—
Lift that lid without lettin’ it drown!
Wipe it up before you walk away,
Don’t leave that wet mark for another day!

(Bridge)
It ain’t hard; just grab some paper roll—
A quick little swipe is good for the soul!
No need to be messy when you're doing your thing;
Respect the loo and let cleanliness sing.

(Outro)
So come on now and take heed of my song —
Time to grow up; let’s right this wrong!
With a simple act of kindness – oh so sweet,
You’ll make the throne fresh for everyone who seats!


Hope you enjoy this light-hearted tune!
Copy
×
"Toilet Seat Blues"

(Verse 1)
In a little old house, on a Saturday night,
There’s a guy named Dave, he just can’t do right.
He walks in the bathroom with a confident stride,
But when it comes to aiming, he’s got nothing inside.

(Chorus)
Oh, small penis blues and pissing on the seat,
Mama never taught him how to clean up his defeat.
When you gotta sit down and take care of business fast,
At least wipe that seat down before you leave at last!

(Verse 2)
He's got the throne all to himself tonight,
But every little drop turns into such a plight.
With no tissue handy and his aim so poor,
Every time he stands up there's puddles on the floor.

(Chorus)
Oh, small penis blues and pissing on the seat,
Mama never taught him how to clean up his defeat.
When you gotta sit down and take care of business fast,
At least wipe that seat down before you leave at last!

(Bridge)
Sitting like a champ but making quite a mess —
Dave's proud of what he's got but it gets worse than less.
“It's not my fault,” he says with laughter in his tone;
But even kings must tidy up their very own throne!

(Verse 3)
Now friends come around for beers and good cheer;
They see toilet troubles—what really brings fear—
“Dude!” they shout out as they enter this scene:
“No one should have peeing woes so obscene!”

(Chorus)
Oh, small penis blues and pissing on the seat,
Mama never taught him how to clean up his defeat.
When you gotta sit down and take care of business fast,
At least wipe that seat down before you leave at last!

(Outro)
So raise your glass high if you're feeling me too,
Let’s help our friend Dave find some cleaning crew.
A small lesson learned while sharing these tunes —
Keep your throne nice ’n’ tidy or you'll face doom 'neath full moons!

sweetpickle2 · 28/11/2024 22:55

I know people are quick to jump to LTB on here but I would genuinely divorce him over this.

At the very least there’s no way I’d be able to have sex with someone who did something so gross and treated me with such little respect.

fashionqueen0123 · 28/11/2024 22:56

PissoirPissedOff · 28/11/2024 22:52

We used to live somewhere that he pissed off the balcony into a forest. Quite honestly, I've just realised, I think he's adapting to living indoors! I'll show him this thread in the morning. Fingers crossed 🤞

What?!? Why?

hoxtonbabe · 28/11/2024 22:56

fashionqueen0123 · 28/11/2024 22:56

What?!? Why?

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving 🤣