To find school rule silly?

[Skymum36]

So DD is in year 1. Last year in reception we were allowed to take the children to their class as it was right next to the gate in the playground. However, from year 1 onwards, the classrooms go further into the school and we are supposed to drop them in the playground so that they can walk theirselves to the classrooms. I think it was introduced during Covid as parents with older siblings have said it’s only been a thing the last couple of years, however they have apparently kept it on to ‘promote independence’.
I would have no issue with this, except from the fact that DD and numerous other children seem to get really anxious about going in by theirselves and there are tears every morning, yet the head teacher/teachers will not let parents past the gate to make sure that they are ok. Another students mum told me that it was affecting her son’s morning to the point he didn’t want to go to school because it made him anxious in the morning. I find myself struggling at the gate every day now trying to convince DD to walk in but she just gets upset and refuses and asks me to take her, I then have to wait for a teacher to spot me struggling so that they will walk her in. There has been quite a few heated debates between parents and teachers from where they literally point blank will not let parents past (yet it’s fine on pick up?).
The thing is I know it isn’t that big of a deal to some, but the majority of them are still only 5 years old. DD is quite an anxious child, and I just feel like this little rule sets her up for the day wrong when it wouldn’t change a thing to just be able to walk them in.
Is it a rule in anyone else’s school? AIBU to think it just seems a bit unneeded?

I'm missing something. How is making a child do something for weeks when they're crying and saying they don't want to go in better than working with them to help them not want to cry when they go in?

If they are crying because they are unsure/feel like they "can't" go in without mummy/survive without her, just getting it over with shows them they are absolutely fine at the end of the day

You have to give them that success and show them that their worry about it was unjustified, but also they do need to learn not to make a fuss about a little thing. Young children need to be taught a sense of proportion. They are just going into school, not facing a battle!

Could you arrange to meet others at the gate so a couple of kids can go in together rather than completely on their own?

Not a silly rule at all. It's your job to make them 'unanxious' and understanding of this,or other , rules.

Right. But for a couple of sessions, then I'd be trying to reduce the distress for them, not just keep forcing them to do something until they give up crying about it.

This is a 5 or 6 year old in year 1, who was fine for all of reception year. We're into term 2 now. How long do you suggest making them do it and ignoring their distress to give them this wonderful feeling of success? They clearly need some support with this changed transition to make it easier for them! I haven't encountered a school with no known adult standing at the point that parents have to stop, to greet the kids and encourage them in, I can see why a number of them find it unsettling.

Always happened in my children's schools. We were only allowed to take kids into the classroom on the 1st day of term. After that, they all lined up on the playground when the bell rang.

No one is asking or expecting to go into the classroom or even the school building.

When you dropped your kids was it at an unattended gate out of sight of the playground they were meant to line up in?

I'd expect there to be a person at the entrance to the playground though to smile and say hi, stop kids walking back out or parents coming in and to pass messages to teachers?

Op said parents are not allowed past the gate but that there's not someone there to greet the kids or encourage them towards their classroom, they're expected to say bye then walk on their own round the outside of the school to their classroom door.

Sounds fine to me. It's always the parents that are more anxious about this stuff than the kids.

We live rural, so my 5 year old has been going to school on a bus since Day 1 by herself. I've never been at the school gate once!

Nobody greets our pupils at the gate as there are 3 different places they can enter the playground. They usually just come in the nearest gate then walk round until they come to the part of the playground where they line up. There are 3 different doors they come in as around 370 pupils.

I would say a twice a week battle with a 5 year old for a full 4 months, just for an extracurricular, is the very opposite of teaching a healthy sense of proportion.

At the nursery where I work, parents used to come in with them each morning but quite a lot would hang around way to long, and we’d have to basically force them to leave (some would be there around half an hour!) It caused a lot of tears and was frustrating as a staff member when you’re trying to get the day started. After lockdown, we had to have stricter rules including parents staying at the door on arrival. We noticed the kids were much happier coming in themselves and that rule stayed in place for the benefit of children. So I’m thinking maybe that was your schools process? But if it’s having the opposite effect, they definitely need to rethink that. I would ask to speak to the head teacher to find out?

we dropping the playground and teachers come out to the playground and the children line up and go in with them. I don’t drop off so can’t actually remember if this is first term only or the whole year round, but all ages groups (primary) have their teacher come out.

It certainly does!
It’s not supposed to but from August to end of October the staff are practically forming a human shield at the entrances into infant corridors. Similar swarming can be found at the entrances into school offices with some parents thinking their child should be entering early etc etc etc. Many very needy parents are out there with a complete lack of self awareness.

Our y4 didnt even have parents through in reception due to covid year.
I woukd say most kids have been going to nursery then reception so would be fine in y1. The ones who arent probably have something going on so more akin to school refusal. (Asd etc)
Or are struggling because of the work or unfortunately a too strict teacher.
I think the worst was when they lined up in playground as it was awful if you had younger sibling or a kid prone to want to run off or hate queuing up. And then alo other parents could see this

Standard primary school practice; my son is in year 11 now and it was always that way at primary school, from about the Summer term in reception onwards.
In nursery they lined up in the playground and walked in.

I don’t know if this would help your daughter.
One of mine was an “ I think I will come back home with you mummy” until a student teacher asked him if he might be able to help her out as she was a bit shy. He went in ( happily) and introduced other children to her. The next day she asked him if he could help her help children change their shoes. After a week of helping the student he ran in happily every morning to see what job he could do.

Aw that’s a shame, around here it’s after yr3 they do that, but is optional. Up to and including year 3 they want to see the parent drop and collect unless you sign a form (often they like to see the parent just in case). Most by year 4/5 go in on their own, only the odd yr4 child has a parent usually for the first term only. Yr1 that feels quite young for some and yes others run in no problem. Would be nice it’s optional for a bit longer to help the ones who struggle.

As the parent of a child who was anxious at around that age I wouldn't be happy with that arrangement either. Neither am I aware of any schools who do this where I am.

Surely its less hassle for the schools to let parents drop their children to their classrooms rather than have to deal with those anxious children individually?

My son's school do this. But I have never known any other school do this. I've worked in many schools and teach Yr1. I think 5 is too young to be walking themselves to the classroom door from main gate. Especially if it's causing anxiety and upset. Not a good way to start the day.

In Ireland they line up in the yard with the teacher then leading them in, parents can hover around until the bell rings if they want.
Generally parents are not allowed in the door, surely that's a safe guarding issue?

Ours are dropped at the classroom/corridor door (most classrooms have a door directly to the playground - around 7 or 8 don’t ).

This is one of the largest primary schools in the country and they manage the volumes ok.

All four of my children over the last 18 years have always walked in from the playground. The teachers don’t have time to accosted by parents in the mornings, which is what would definitely happen. Pretty sure it’s always been that way and for that reason.

Our primary all the rooms have doors off of the playground and parents bring them in and drop at doors..there are 3 different entrances you can use to get to the playground so probably safer for bring them to the door in this case. .
However kids who are going to be anxious, will be just beanxious at the door instead, so not sure it makes much difference. My eldest hates change and will cling and be anxious for the first few weeks of a new school year and a couple of days after every break and that's stood at his classroom door with the ta or teacher there to support him going in.

I don't think it really matters what the different arrangements are at various schools with wildly different layouts.

The important point is that a number of 5 year olds are finding dropoffs very difficult and making them just get on with it doesn't seem to be helping, it's now what, 12 weeks into the year. If it was going to work it would have worked by now.

I would expect any school, regardless of whether a child has recognised SEN or not, and whatever their normal procedure is, to offer support and flexibility for a child that is struggling with a particular aspect of the day.

If the teachers are welcoming the children at the gate, there's nobody to watch them inside the building.

@Skymum36 how did the rest of term go? I hope things got easier x