Caused a scene in a cafe today. Now wondering if we were unreasonable

[pennytoffees]

I'll start off by saying I'm welsh, born and bred and speak the language as does my entire family.

We visited (my mother and I) a local cafe today and had such an awful experience. We haven't been there in years but don't remember it being that bad. We don't sound welsh and spoke to them in English so they obviously assumed that we were tourists. They were very cold towards us.

Anyway, we placed our order and another staff member brought the food over to us. We asked for some sauces to which she replied "go and ask her" and then pointed to the woman at the till. There was a queue and we didn't want the food to go cold so asked her if she could get us some. She gave me a filthy look but reluctantly handed them over. I just want to add that at no point did she say that the sauces cost extra so we just presumed that they were free like most cafes/restaurants. It turns out that they weren't (to be honest I think it's pretty greedy charging customers for sachets of sauce when they've spent £14 on a meal and I don't know any other local businesses that do it but thats another argument). We would have paid with no issues had she explained that to us.

The main issue is that she came over to a couple sat behind us and started talking about us in Welsh thinking that we didn't understand. Funnily enough they asked for some sauces and she gave them for free but when we asked it was an issue. The only difference is they were clearly locals. At this point we'd had enough so I asked to speak with the manager and she asked me "why, is there a problem?". I said "yes but I'm not discussing it with you". Anyway, he came over and I explained what had happened. She was on the other side of the counter and came over and said "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you". She wasn't close enough to hear us talking so obviously knew what she had done wrong and was just trying to cover her tracks.

He apologised and we left it at that, didn't even finish our food as we felt so uncomfortable. To be honest I don't think he knew what to do but after reading the reviews online, it's clearly a regular occurrence and he doesn't care how his staff behaves or treats customers. It was embarrassing as everyone was looking at us. We don't like confrontation or causing trouble but felt we had to confront her. I believe we would have been treated differently had they known we were welsh. I was actually embarrassed to be welsh to be honest. They forget it's the tourists keeping them in business.

AIBU? Would you have confronted her or just walked away?

I'd list all the times that people were rude to me in England, but it'd take too long. What the hell, people? Getting attitude off a waitress happens, you don't cross an entire country off your holiday list because of it!*

*Although if you're like this then please do avoid Wales. I am a firm believer in people only visiting places where they respect the local area and the language they speak. Diolch.

Sorry but I don’t understand your point about condiments??
My comments, should you wish to check my thread, have been related to feeling welcome in Anglesey.
But you’re right about the 20 mph, banning of dogs in some areas and generally making tourists feel unwelcome.

No i don’t understand why the Welsh don’t like English people today based on 1000s of years of history that has nothing to do with any English people alive today. The actions of my ancestors are not my fault and it’s unacceptable and xenophobic for anyone to dislike a whole group of people based on what their ancestors did.

This is why I would never step foot in Wales. I can’t imagine why any English people spend their hard earned money there. We can’t avoid our taxes going there unfortunately.

😂

Good. Please never come.

Perhaps in England we should start viciously loathing Danes for the Viking invasion. Its small minded, small country syndrome.

😂😂

We can’t avoid our taxes going there unfortunately.

Or your water supply.

I've not found that when travelling around various counties on Europe. I found if you try to talk to people in their own language just a bit, just enough to ask for a coffee or something, the they're really receptive.

If you just talk loudly them in English, then Understandably they get resentful. It's not about not liking the English, it's about showing a bit of respect as a tourist.

Its small minded, small country syndrome.

Now we’re into full blown hypocrisy, and it’s hilarious. If Wales has this, it must be because it’s highly contagious.

Erm maybe because as clearly shown by a lot of the replies on this thread, the attitudes of those ancestors are still alive and well amongst some English people today!

Mae fy ngwr yn Saes! Mae wedi byw yng Nghymru cyhyd, mae e’n teimlo fel Cymro nawr!

Sothach llwyr.

@KimberleyClark , Sais nid Saes.

Ymddiheuro 😳

Diolch. Perlys yw saes.

Far too much pebbledash in Wales

But to be honest, quite a lot of places across the UK have that "you're not from around here?" vibe to them

Agreed.

There is a difference between the general and the specific though. I am Scottish albeit lived in England most adult life. And even with rampant nationalism (which presumably increased under SNP), I cannot believe Scots would behave like that to English people especially in a tourist area. There is a world of difference in being vile and rude personally vs booing the English football/rugby team in banter.

Then again very few Scots speak Gaelic!

So now you are saying it’s acceptable to dislike an entire nation of people based on the attitudes of some of them?

like many people in this post have done - with one waitress and some flipping hp sauce !

You’re not the arsehole and and that’s not a scene! Make sure you write a bilingual review

That doesn’t mean it’s acceptable.

Don't think i said it was acceptable ?

some places they visited that were slightly more off the beaten track switched from speaking English to Welsh when they walked in.

This is what we do. We learn Welsh but never ever speak it until we see any non-Welsh speakers. Then we talk about them so they can't understand.

We don't live our daily lives speaking Welsh, watch Welsh telly, read Welsh books and websites, etc. The language has been kept alive solely to piss off the English.

France is just the same. They all speak English until they clock that you're not French. Spanish, German, Portuguese, Poles, Finns, they're all at it.

** I am joking.

You’re going to be in big trouble at the next ‘Troll the English’ top secret international meeting for sharing that!