Caused a scene in a cafe today. Now wondering if we were unreasonable

[pennytoffees]

I'll start off by saying I'm welsh, born and bred and speak the language as does my entire family.

We visited (my mother and I) a local cafe today and had such an awful experience. We haven't been there in years but don't remember it being that bad. We don't sound welsh and spoke to them in English so they obviously assumed that we were tourists. They were very cold towards us.

Anyway, we placed our order and another staff member brought the food over to us. We asked for some sauces to which she replied "go and ask her" and then pointed to the woman at the till. There was a queue and we didn't want the food to go cold so asked her if she could get us some. She gave me a filthy look but reluctantly handed them over. I just want to add that at no point did she say that the sauces cost extra so we just presumed that they were free like most cafes/restaurants. It turns out that they weren't (to be honest I think it's pretty greedy charging customers for sachets of sauce when they've spent £14 on a meal and I don't know any other local businesses that do it but thats another argument). We would have paid with no issues had she explained that to us.

The main issue is that she came over to a couple sat behind us and started talking about us in Welsh thinking that we didn't understand. Funnily enough they asked for some sauces and she gave them for free but when we asked it was an issue. The only difference is they were clearly locals. At this point we'd had enough so I asked to speak with the manager and she asked me "why, is there a problem?". I said "yes but I'm not discussing it with you". Anyway, he came over and I explained what had happened. She was on the other side of the counter and came over and said "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you". She wasn't close enough to hear us talking so obviously knew what she had done wrong and was just trying to cover her tracks.

He apologised and we left it at that, didn't even finish our food as we felt so uncomfortable. To be honest I don't think he knew what to do but after reading the reviews online, it's clearly a regular occurrence and he doesn't care how his staff behaves or treats customers. It was embarrassing as everyone was looking at us. We don't like confrontation or causing trouble but felt we had to confront her. I believe we would have been treated differently had they known we were welsh. I was actually embarrassed to be welsh to be honest. They forget it's the tourists keeping them in business.

AIBU? Would you have confronted her or just walked away?

What kind of thing exactly? You pretend you can’t speak Welsh to try and catch Welsh speakers out and any very minor slight like in the op makes you want to not visit? Or are you another who believes Welsh people only start speaking the language when an English person walks in?

This kind of thing has happened to me zero times in 19 years of living in Wales, how unlucky you are! Glad you've found other places to visit 👍

So am I - thanks!

Funny how it happens to everyone else LOADS of times and has never happened to me!

Last time I was in North Wales I was in a cafe where the two staff were indeed talking to each other in Welsh. But they spoke to us in English and were pleasant.

People do not speak English and then switch to Welsh as soon as someone comes in. How do they magically know whether you speak Welsh anyway. It's a nonsense thing to claim. I wish people wouldn't troll MN with such nonsense.

I would've spoken up to that girl, not specifically about the sauces but about her rude manners. The sauces.....I know lots of places where you pay for them seperately, like @Ikea Restaurant? In pubs etc. there's often a basket with bottles of ketchup, mayo, mustard etc. and yes, those you can use for free. But this post is of course not about the sauces, it's about the way that snotty girl treated you. I think you should be honnest in your review of the place!

Ha ha - exactly!

Exactly this!

Dach chi'n bod yn afresymol a dw i ddim yn credu eich stori.

Mi ges i fy ngeni a'm magu ar Ynys Môn.

Yn eich post gwreiddiol mi wnaethoch chi ddisgrifio'r caffi fel un "lleol" ond yna dweud wrthon ni'ch bod yn byw yng Nghonwy a bod y caffi ar Ynys Môn. Dydy lleol ddim yn deugain milltir.

Mae Ynys Môn yn lle prydferth, poblogaidd a chyfeillgar sy’n dibynnu ar dwristiaeth. Fasai'n caffis yn ddim sy'n trin twristiaid fel yr ydych wedi disgrifio.

There isn't, that's the point. People make it up. Hospitality staff are there to make people welcome and serve them tea and cake or whatever.

Most are youngsters and they don't care what nationality you are or what language you speak.

I've never had a bad experience as someone with an English accent in Scotland or Northern Ireland (or indeed the Irish Republic) either.

Do you really listen to nonsense on the internet? Why not go and make your own mind up?

Exactly!

(PS asked Copilot to translate)

Cytuno cant y cant.

Many years ago I saw an episode of Pobol y Cwm (Welsh TV soap) on exactly this. It had a single Indian gentleman going into a cafe. The waiting staff were a nightmare. They were rude about him in Welsh and even put screens round him. He put up with this for the whole episode then got up to leave and addressed them in flawless Welsh

The history isn't medieval. By ANY stretch of the imagination

Cytuno cant y cant. Ma'r 'thread' 'ma (ddim yn meddwl bod edafedd yn gweithio?) wedi fy nghorddi.

With an attitude like this, we won't miss you

Ddim yn cofio hyn o gwbl. Ddim yn golygu wnaeth e ddim digeydd wrth gwrs. Mae sawl actor o leiiafrif ethnig wedi ymddangos ar Pobl Y Cwm dros y blynyddoedd.

Oh come off it. Everyone knows the switching to Welsh thing is a xenophobic trope used against Welsh people who are simply speaking their own language in their own country. Welsh people make fun of it.

I had a Welsh friend come and visit me in London and I sat in the pub garden while he went to get a pint. He came outside and said, “the funniest thing just happened. I walked into the bar and they all started speaking English.” 😂

I believe it about the sauces, though. You do often get a discount if you speak Welsh. It’s a bit like the informal tourist tax in Paris.

Didn’t even get to the end of the first page before the xenophobia started. 🙄

‘I will never visit a place after hearing that they charge for sauces, that you’re expected to get up from you seat to get’. I can see how reading this must have been traumatic, has anyone contacted Netflix to make a documentary?

’sa i’n cofio hynny chwaith? Dw’i wedi bid yn gwylio PYC ers yr 80au!

I have had lovely holidays in Wales but sadly there have been a few unpleasant encounters - I don’t think people are imagining it. This week though feeling desperately sad for Welsh people affected by severe flooding.