To be annoyed at my neighbour?

[PeachHog]

Moved into a lovely semi detached, private rented, 18 months ago. Have 2 kids 7 and 10, it's fair to say that we've not been the quietest family. Like many we argue most days, kids play loudly, and we probably haven't been as aware of noise as we should have been. There's a single mother next door with a teenage daughter. DH put a dartboard up on adjoing wall a few weeks ago, however he didnt realise it would be heard by next door until we could hear her turn the music up whenever he was throwing darts.

However, this is what annoyed me - instead of coming to talk to us, she's went directly to the landlord to complain about the unreasonable level of noise and the dartboard! Landlord's now annoyed we didn't agree this with him first (we should have) and now im terrified we're at risk of losing our home. Aibu to think that even though we were in the wrong, she should have come to us first instead of going directly to the landlord? I had no idea she even knew him.

It's clear your walls are very thin if throwing darts causes nucence to the neighbours. I hope maybe the landlord would see that some kind of noise insulation would be a good investment.

Arguing loudly most days isn't really normal, especially if you're aware of the fragile nature of the noise barriers between homes.

You should not have to hear your neighbours shouting at eachother. It's very distressing. I know when your doing it it's just day to day. But people could get alarmed and think someone might be being harmed. It's not nice to have to think about your neighbours safety at all times.

I think try and speak to them politely and see if theres a resolution mutually. It's not your or their fault the walls are crap. But try not to get into a war with them over it.

Sounds like you have a DH problem and would be a lot better as a neighbour if he wasn’t there 😬

I can see why the neighbour approached the landlord rather than speaking directly to you about the noise. Raised voices coming from a property on a regular basis hardly sends out welcoming messages does it?

Did you pay the neighbour a visit when you first moved in to introduce yourself? If not, the neighbour has no doubt formed the opinion that you are not approachable and less inclined to respond favourably to being asked to keep the noise down.

You reap what you sew.

That's the one - it's been a long day - 😂

Number 1, go and apologise to the neighbour.

Number 2, get rid of the dartboard..

Number 3, get rid of the husband.

Peace is restored for all.

Sounds like a plan.

*Number 1, go and apologise to the neighbour.?
Number 2, get rid of the dartboard..
Number 3, get rid of the husband.
Peace is restored for all.
You forgot 4, teach the kids to play quietly in the home and also have consideration while playing outdoors for other people.

Shit neighbours are shit people. House next door to me is going up for sale soon and honestly I am dreading it. Absolute dregs of society out there sometimes.

If next door have been there a while they may have had many neighbours in your home so I'd go to landlord too ...also I'd be wary of getting abuse etc if I did it direct.
Just apologise and try to be quieter..
Dart board ...on another wall or a door ....if you are good ..otherwise isn't there a chance of holes from missies darts ??

Shit neighbours are shit people. House next door to me is going up for sale soon and honestly I am dreading it. Absolute dregs of society out there sometimes.

What a view on life!
I'd say it was pretty accurate.
We don't all live in lovely areas with respectful neighbours.
Many people have become selfish and self centred and dont give a shit for anyone else.
Of course there's lovely people about but there's also totally horrible ones as well.

Your neighbour doesn’t know you. She doesn’t know if you are aggressive, nasty or unreasonable - so she was sensible and went to the landlord.

you need to control the noise and manage your family life - a dart board is not helping to be nice to your neighbours !

I’m sure the OP considers herself a totally normal family and good neighbour. She had to be told that it isn’t normal to shout at your spouse every day, or have your kids shouting or chuck darts at your neighbours wall…

Lots of people think they are great. They’re actually a bit shit.

No you sound like neighbours from hell, you argue most days (not normal), your kids who are old enough to know better are loud and then you thoughtlessly stick a dartboard up on an adjoining wall. I’d be going to the landlord too and hoping he did get rid of you. If you share a wall then you should live respectfully of your neighbours

"Aibu to think that even though we were in the wrong, she should have come to us first instead of going directly to the landlord? I had no idea she even knew him."

So if you had know she knew your landlord you would have got your family to behave better? Maybe you will learn from this and have some consideration for other people in future. If I was your neighbour I'd want you out.

Those balls would be going to the charity shop, no way I'd keep giving them back.

If it was that relentless, they’d be chucked back over popped 🤣

If it was that relentless, they’d be chucked back over popped 🤣
Technically, if l don't return them, it's theft. If l return them damaged, it's criminal damage.
But otherwise it's up to me when l give them back. I had another one over the fence last night. Pitch dark and raining, and they're still hoofing footballs about.

Absolutely agree.

A couple of houses ago, we had truly terrible neighbours. After 5 years there, my mental health was in the bin. I can’t stress enough what an impact it had on me.

We’re in a lovely road now, and I dread the day any of our immediate neighbours decide to sell up!