To be annoyed at my neighbour?

[PeachHog]

Moved into a lovely semi detached, private rented, 18 months ago. Have 2 kids 7 and 10, it's fair to say that we've not been the quietest family. Like many we argue most days, kids play loudly, and we probably haven't been as aware of noise as we should have been. There's a single mother next door with a teenage daughter. DH put a dartboard up on adjoing wall a few weeks ago, however he didnt realise it would be heard by next door until we could hear her turn the music up whenever he was throwing darts.

However, this is what annoyed me - instead of coming to talk to us, she's went directly to the landlord to complain about the unreasonable level of noise and the dartboard! Landlord's now annoyed we didn't agree this with him first (we should have) and now im terrified we're at risk of losing our home. Aibu to think that even though we were in the wrong, she should have come to us first instead of going directly to the landlord? I had no idea she even knew him.

You're a noisy, argumentative family with so little thought for the neighbours that you put a dartboard up on the war adjoining her living room. That's why she went to the landlord. Because you're not reasonable people. I know you think you are, but you've admitted that you're noisy.

I heard my neighbours arguing once, in my whole life, and it was about 20 years ago when I lived in a semi. Elderly couple having a row about their grown up son. First and ONLY time I’ve heard any neighbour arguing. I’m not sure what planet op is on if she thinks arguing most days is normal-makes me think she perhaps needs marriage guidance-and super nanny for her unruly kids!
and the dartboard thing is just utter ludicrous!

You could be right!

This has to be a reverse surely.

It's either a reverse or a wind up. Nobody could be that stupid.

Of course it's a wind up. Plop and run after dropping an OP with so many froth triggers. What else could it be?

I'm extremely happy you're not my neighbor, OP

But why??
lonely?
attention seeking?
just enjoys being a nuisance?

@PeachHog - as @MissUltraViolet said:

”Be more respectful, apologise to her. Make sure she knows that it is absolutely fine for her to approach you in the future with any other problems.’

hopefully you can then be on good terms and sort this kind of thing out easily

however he didn’t realise it would be heard by next door until we could hear her turn the music up whenever he was throwing darts.

You clearly aren't aware of any noise you make so I'd imagine your neighbour didn't want to stand at your doorstep wasting her time trying to explain about noise to two grow adults that think arguing is the norm.

You didn't think anything of it, that the two could be connected, especially as by the sound of it it wasn't a regular occurance from them and only happened so they could try to block out the thudding of your making.

You just continued to use the dartboard whenever it suited you.

I would.

Bully for you. Many wouldn't.

If you’re a screaming shouting arguing family, I’m not surprised they went straight to the landlord. They were probably nervous of you!
Go round and apologise would be my advice.

And FYI - we have a couple of rentals, the neighbours all have our contact details for situations such as this.

You too. Many would.

Semi detached house and you chose to install a dartboard on a party wall. And it didn’t occur to you that literal thuds into the wall would be audible next door? Or to ask the landlord who is likely to sustain damage to his property as a result? Honestly some people have no clue.

This!

Ok, there's been a lot to get through, and a lot to reflect on. Yes I've been in the wrong, hold my hands up. And the dartboard was DH idea/insistence that it would be fine. I don't get much of a say once he's something in his head! I guess my aibu was thinking they could have just come and mentioned ehat a disturbance we were being, but yes after hearing arguments regularly then I suppose I'd be hesitant also. I'm just worried now that our every action is going to be scrutinised while ill of.course work on calming the house and noise down. Dh and I don't get on, he doesn't do much at all with/for the children, but that's another story. I definitely have high stress levels but Will work towards this not impacting on NDN. Thank you all, appreciate your candour.

I think this is the single mum neighbour writing as if she’s the nosey one with a dart board

Ment to say noisy

This. ^ No emotional intelligence or common sense at all. Completely clueless. I feel sorry for the OP's neighbour! And as many posters have said, 'arguing every day' is not normal at all.

That said, I would not wish for you to lose your home @PeachHog

You need to sort out your attitude - and your family though. If you DON'T, then you will lose your tenancy! Apologise to your neighbour, and your landlord, and start behaving better!

.

Good luck coming up with some resolution, OP. Sounds like the noise complaint is the least of it. Not easy to respond to a MN pile-on, taking it on the chin.

Great response OP. You’ve recognised that maybe your neighbour was not being unreasonable.

but I hope your DH isn’t too much of an issue. Arguing every day is not normal at all. Hope things improve - maybe you’ll have a friend in your neighbour??

I love that you’re shouting, arguing, playing darts etc and you’re worried you might lose your home, yet it’s all somehow your neighbours fault 🤣.

Be a less shit neighbour, perhaps?

Nor do we.

A dart board and constant “duff duff duff” would be extremely annoying. It’s just inconsiderate to nail one to an adjoining wall.

However if you’re tenants who pay on time and look after the house then he’d be a fool to kick you out (and would find it difficult anyway) over a dispute which can be easily overcome.

I'm trying to remember the last argument in this house. It's not normal to argue so frequently. The dart board on the wall in a rented house sounds pretty rough and noisy, to be fair. I wouldn't contact you directly either; I would potentially be afraid of an argument. It sounds like they are dealing with it as peacefully as they can.

I'd be tempted to send a card through the door, apologising for any noise; no hard feelings.