To be annoyed at my neighbour?

[PeachHog]

Moved into a lovely semi detached, private rented, 18 months ago. Have 2 kids 7 and 10, it's fair to say that we've not been the quietest family. Like many we argue most days, kids play loudly, and we probably haven't been as aware of noise as we should have been. There's a single mother next door with a teenage daughter. DH put a dartboard up on adjoing wall a few weeks ago, however he didnt realise it would be heard by next door until we could hear her turn the music up whenever he was throwing darts.

However, this is what annoyed me - instead of coming to talk to us, she's went directly to the landlord to complain about the unreasonable level of noise and the dartboard! Landlord's now annoyed we didn't agree this with him first (we should have) and now im terrified we're at risk of losing our home. Aibu to think that even though we were in the wrong, she should have come to us first instead of going directly to the landlord? I had no idea she even knew him.

There is a house near me where I hear arguing nearly every time I walk past.

I give them a wide swerve and wouldn't want to discuss anything with them, let alone tell them they were making too much noise.

She’s probably hoping you get evicted and she has a quieter life.

Or a reverse, no one can be this selfish surely and expect sympatĥy

So would you have behaved better if you'd known she knew your LL Op? After 18 months of daily rows, kids screaming and now a dartboard I don't blame her at all.

If you're arguing every day she probably felt nervous to come and talk to you in case you yelled at her OP!

I had shitty neighbours like you once. I went round and spoke to them politely asking them to keep the noise down a bit. They were forever arguing, kids screaming. I was told to fuck off and get a life. That is why your neighbour did not come and speak to you OP. After that I only spoke with the landlord and the environmental health department of the council. The tenants were eventually evicted after six months of hell for me and a damaged property for the landlord. It is supposedly so hard to get rental properties nowadays. Yet some tenants still can’t behave like decent human beings. A dartboard! Unbelievable!

Only the deeply thoughtless or the deeply entitled would nail a dartboard to a party wall. I’d be fuming too

Arguing most days isn’t normal, especially not loud enough to be heard by neighbors. It’s better for neighbors to go to the landlord directly in situations like this where they might be worried about speaking ti neighbors who are like this. You did something wrong by putting up the dartboard without permission, you acknowledge this and are now annoyed you’ve been found out by the landlord. Don’t blame your neighbors for this.

She was likely intimidated because she can hear shouting everyday. I'm not surprised she went straight to the landlord.
The dartboard was totally thoughtless and selfish.
I lived next to neighbours like you once with a football on a party wall, we sold after only four years it was miserable living next to them.

We have a family renting next door to us now and I'd not hesitate to contact their landlord were making unnecessary noise daily

Good lord, I can't believe it wasn't obvious the thud from a dartboard would reverberate through the wall. My son has a dartboard in our detached garage about 3 metres from the house and you can hear the thud from inside the nearest rooms.

If neighbours argued most days I wouldn't ask them to be quiet either. Too risky.

Most people who give no consideration for those around them would think nothing of telling someone to fuck off when they politely ask you to keep the noise down, been on the receiving end of arsehole neighbours like you four times now over the years, first in our council place growing up, two private rentals and one owned property. Your sort just never seem to fuck off and leave us all alone, antisocial noise makes peoples lives miserable, and your are like cockroaches when it comes to getting rid of you, nearly impossible.your neighbour was right to go straight to the landlord, if you were agreeable you wouldn’t be on here saying how affronted you are, you would be saying how sorry you are. Also a landlord won’t take kindly to a dartboard ruining their plaster.

Sort yourselves out, I wish we could put you all together in a caravan park to fight it out!

you sound like a neighbour from hell

I'm not usually on the bitter side things however, after dealing with a very similar family for years who frankly made our lives hell, I'm inclined to agree with the above.

This has to be a reverse?

PeachHog
Aibu to think that even though we were in the wrong, she should have come to us first instead of going directly to the landlord? I had no idea she even knew him.

That made me laugh. Would you have been a bit less unworried about your antisocial noisiness if you had known she knew the landlord?

Hey, maybe she didn't/doesn't, just went to them in desperation even though she didn't know them at all.

By "arguing" do you mean, shouting at the kids to shut up or stop fighting, or do you mean you have an actual argument with someone every day?

I don't actually remember the last time I raised my voice, so a high volume of shouting, etc, is definitely not normal.

If it's shouting at the kids, then you need to consider alternative ways of getting your message across rather than just shouting at them. My friend's DH used to just go straight to shouting at the kids if they weren't doing something they should. He soon learned that the kids stopped listening and he had nowhere further to go beyond shouting.

Shouting should be the absolute last resort.

And at no point should anyone ever consider putting something up on an adjoining wall that is going to make a noise.

I too am really hoping this is a reverse and OP is actually the neighbour who complained to the landlord.

I used to have arsehole loud neighbours and totally lost my temper with them one day and confronted them. They were such arseholes they just laughed in my face, went back indoors and turned the volume up.

You can be certain that I just reported every incident straight to their landlord after that.

I imagine your neighbours thought process went something like "Aibu to contact my neighbours landlord? My next door neighbours are pretty loud, the kids I don't mind too much, but the mum and dad argue all the time and play music really loudly. The dad has just installed a dart board and honestly it's just too much. I'm a bit scared to approach them as it's just me and my teen DD, and Im a bit intimidated because of their loud arguments. I've lived here for a while and know their landlord. Aibu to contact their landlord instead of risking an argument with dart playing dad?"

Putting a dartboard on an adjoining wall is completely taking the piss, and very difficult to believe that you didn't consider the noise.

If I was the neighbour I would think you were hugely inconsiderate and that any attempt to tell you would turn into confrontation hence going directly to the landlord

OP sorry but you're the problem here! It's not normal to argue every day, you don't have dartboards in someone else's property whether you're paying rent or not. Be respectful to your neighbours, or just move into a detached house and preferably in the middle of nowhere

She probably felt intimidated if you're noisy and arguing every day (which isn't normal). You acknowledge that you've been nightmare neighbours, instead of fretting about how she raised the issue, work on being more considerate before you end up being evicted.
The landlord has possibly given neighbours their details and asked them to report any issues directly, we recently went to a holiday home where the owner messaged upon booking to say no parties or excessive noise after 10pm, and that he had a good relationship with surrounding neighbours who would report any antisocial behaviour to him.

I have a dartboard in my house , the wall is destroyed around it , I'm also a landlord and would not like to have to repair the damage from something unauthorised. If I knew about it I'd be more forgiving . I'd expect the neighbours to complain to me if there was an issue that they thought couldn't be resolved by talking to the tenant . I don't think it's an evictable offence so I wouldn't worry about that but your life would be easier if you got on with your neighbours.

Why the classist hatred and the reference to a caravan park? Just because OP is a noisy renter doesn’t mean she is a chav. Have you not heard of the Bullingdon club? Maybe she and her dh are both just careless toffs.

This is a reverse, has to be!!!