to think that DW could do ever such a little bit more around the house?

[Triathlete]

I know how hard it is to look after an infant all day, and I'm really glad that I was able to take paternity leave and help in those early weeks.

And I'm happy to take over fully when I get in from work - bathe, feed and put DS (6.5 months) to bed, cook for us, wash up, make her a cup of tea and let her put her feet up.

And DW does do stuff in the house, but only what suits her and what she likes. She makes a great deal out of "tidying your wardrobe" for instance, but I've never asked her to do it.

The one thing that I would like her to do is the vacuuming. We have a dusty house - allotment, garden, walks in the country and so on. When I was living alone I did it in the morning before going to work. It's only a small house - ten minutes doing one room every day and every room gets done at least once a week, and the place is cleaner, fresher and healthier.

The other week I worked hard on a friend's car in exchange for the loan of an industrial carpet cleaner, then I spent Saturday cleaning all the carpets - they came up beautifully.

But she won't vacuum. And I refuse to do it at the weekend - I cook, iron cothes, clean windows, bake bread and fix the car, but I won't vacuum. If I start to do it again, it'll be at 7am before I go to work. She can deal with the woken up baby then.

And then today, when I had to go straight out again to the supermarket after getting back from work, I asked her whether there was anything ready to eat. "No, I couldn't think of anything". Well honestly, boiling 4 potatoes won't win any prizes, but it would have been more than acceptable to a hungry, tired husband with a busy week ahead. What makes it worse is that she was on the fricking internet when I came in.

I'm pissed off.

Could you get a cleaner once a week for a couple of hours to hoover etc?

Clean drawers, that is. Helps if you put all the words in

www.thane.com/products/housewares/h2omop/h2omop.phpbuy one of theses seriosly they are great i hate hovering and sweeping the floors but this is brilliant

I can't beleive the way you lot jump to the defence of a woam who is obviously bone idle.

Is she a MNetter?

Is that the 'on the internet' thing?

Perhaps she was on Mumsnet posting a thread saying my DH is obsessed about me vacuuming - he wants me to do it every day.

You say you're pissed off, perhaps she's pissed off too. While you were working hard on your friend's car she was presumably looking after the baby. You talk about the industrial carpet cleaner as though it was a big treat for her. When in fact it was a treat for yourself.

i just asked dh whether he wrote this post - i am far far more likely to wardrobe sort for dh (he has never once sorted his own clothes) than i ever am to hoover. plus, i am nervous about waking our 8wk old - know its cause i'm a first timer. sure i'll be hoovering under her cot soon enough.

a couple of questions: did she give up work to look after your lo? if so, who used to do the hoovering? are you suddenley expecting her to do certain tasks you think fall into the remit of a SAHM?

i only ask cause i'm really surprised this has only just become an issue??? was it not an issue before you had a kid?

Message withdrawn

Assuming there is nothing wrong (like PND which would mean she needs help) then you shall just have to accept that she doesn't want to do it and that it doesn't bother her. You sound like a helpful man, but I have to say that if it really bothers you then you are going to have to do it yourself, for the meantime at least.

moondog - are you being serious? i can never tell with you!!

when ds was 6 months old he used to breastfeed 2 hours out of 3, and refused all solids! was a nightmare, i didn't get any housework done either!!

can't believe that they really need hoovering every day.

Oh FFS, invest in a roomba.

Problem sorted.

If you used to do it yourself when you lived alone, why dont you do it now?

Why have you abdicated this duty? Why do feel it should be delegated to your wife?

Looking after a baby all day is no walk in the park. Maybe she could do more, but, honestly - if you have such a hang up about hoovering - just do it yourself.

Or, get rid of your carpets and therefore the explicit need to hoover.

Now, now, Amy, that's considered porn in my house! DH spent weeks eulogising about his latest purchase here

Maybe floors are a male thing.

Yes I am!
Anything is possible with a little organisation.

I omved house (alone!!!) with a 3 week old breastfed baby and a 3 year old.It wasn't that hard.

Triathelete

Are you a journo?

I think moondog has high domestic (as well as dietary) standards...

Yes, babies are hard work.
However, basic housekeeping isn't.

no quite
I had a cleaner when dd was little and the house was still a bombsite
I don't do cleaning
well not much

but Moondog, what works for you might not work for someone else.

i mean - pat on the back and all that - but i know there's no way i could do all the housework triathalon is on about and look after a 6 month old baby and have some semblance of a life!

sure, i could have tied myself to the kitchen sink/hoover/delete as applicable but what's the point? it's boring and dull and i can think of ten thousand other things i'd rather be doing!

triathalon, if your dw is going back to work she may wish to savour this time with your baby, and may also not want to get into the habit of doing all the housework so she gets saddled with that and looking after the baby when she goes back (like i did!!)

This is a roomba. get it. let her use the internet!

No YANBU. I have a 4wk old baby and 2.3yo toddler and still manage to hoover and cook the evening meal, make breakfasts in the morning, put washing in and change it to the drier. (and I am ex breast feeding dd2)
She is being lazy!