To want to change careers because I miss my working class roots?

[LSCC]

I'm from a very working class background and working class family. Just generations and generations of working class. I was and still am the only one in my family to go to university and I've somehow gotten myself through the doors into a very middle class career. I'm just so unhappy there. Every conversation reminds me of how different I am. I have assimilated in some ways - the only reason I started travelling abroad was because I was sick of how often travel came up in conversation. Corporate DEI and how important a diverse workforce is, yet one of the first questions you'll be asked is what school you went to - expecting me to answer with some boarding school that they may have played a netball match or two with, rather than a local comprehensive that was rated 'needs improvement' by Ofsted. Being asked where I ski? Erm... I'm polite and friendly with colleagues obviously, but going from those kinds of conversations to back around my friends and family is such a culture shock.

I just don't think this kind of pretence is worth it anymore, and when I look back on the different jobs I've had the happiest ones have been when I have been surrounded by people with a similar background to me.

Does anyone else on here from a working class background struggle with this?

expecting me to answer with some boarding school that they may have played a netball match or two with, rather than a local comprehensive that was rated 'needs improvement' by Ofsted.
How do you cone to that conclusion? This is your problem, not your colleagues
No-one cares if you played bloody netball or not, no-one cares if your school warranted an Ofsted poor report.
You are where you are because you have the skills and knowledge and you passed an interview. It's up to you to let your background just be that.

It was like this when I started university and then work several years ago - I had to work on the way I spoke to succeed at the interview stage.
I was under the impression that things had reversed and it was essential to have been to a state school (and even better if it was in east London) and sounded like Danni dyer (daughter not the east Ender's actor)

I’m middle class but I went to a bog standard comp and skiing would be my idea of hell (sport - which I’m crap at - in the cold). If someone asks you about skiing I’d say ‘I’ve never been very interested’ or similar. Just say you went to a state school. It does sound as though it’s the culture where you work but remember you’ve got the job because your employer thinks you’ll be able to do it, not because you went to a particular school.

I completely understand. I had this when I went to university (the first in my family) and experienced a lot of snobbery on my chosen course. It has left me with lifelong imposter syndrome although I've learned not to let that hold me back.

These days however, rather than shy away from it, I own it. I am loudly proud of my roots and vocal about the additional challenges it posed and how it creates barriers for others like me. I try not to be sanctimonious about it and don't think I am. But I think I've made a few people reconsider their privilege without actually telling them they're privileged and that's a good thing. It also helps to realise that everyone has their issues, no matter their class and we all have a lot more in common than we have differences. We're all people at the end of the day and finding a point of connection with colleagues smooths many a working relationship.

No but if you do both of these things there is a 99% chance you are.

Surely it's not demographic that stops you doing that, it's having kids.
Most young single people could do that if they wanted to (the aspiration, self belief, knowledge of opportunity is likely to be a limiting factor, not the absolute means)
Once you have kids you're stuck for several years unless you want to sacrifice their wellbeing for your career, or you have extensive family support

I have a similar background and also in a senior professional role in a big company. I don't find this at all. I'm very proud of my working class background, still got a strong accent etc. I take the piss out of my posh colleagues and I take the piss out of myself. No way in earth I'd want to change careers. I bloody worked hard to get here and enjoying the benefits of it.

Boarding school is upper class af though apparently only 0.7% of kids go there's nothing "middle" about it. Ops got to stop being paranoid if anything it's usually the snobs who feel out of place because they are such a small percentage of the populace. In fact they're probably more scared of you then you are them.
A lot of people are insecure about themselves and don't realise everyone else is too

I'm from a long line of agricultural labourers and never went to university.
I managed to get a good "middle-class" career and ended up as a director.
I have never been asked such questions.

I work in a very middle class profession and no one has ever asked me those questions, maybe just move to a different company?

I do kind of know what you mean OP. My company isn’t so much about where I went to school but about first class flights and fancy cars and their kids going to private school.
I kind of revel in saying things like ‘oh no skiing isn’t my bag’ (because it’s not) and ‘oh I don’t really know a lot about the VAT on school fees situation - my kids are at the local academy’
Im not being provocative because it’s true but equally I earned my place at that table without all the fancy stuff, same way you have without the private education and skiing trips.

The majority of people are not middle class, they’re working class. Of course only a small fraction of the population will attend boarding school or private schools, because those who can afford to do so are able to. It really depends where you live and your social sphere. Many areas are predominantly working class or predominantly middle class, and it is easy to feel out of place if you are the minority. It is the same in certain professions/jobs.

No you're wrong. Lawyers, bankers, doctors and accountants are all middle class professions, not upper class. My sibling is a judge, from a solidly middle class background, educated at state school, a long long way from being upper class.
The upper class is the aristocracy, lord this, lady that and the honourable other( hereditary titles only). Some may work in various jobs but by the nature of their background they are upper class.
If you're a plumber and earn 100k you're still working class. It isn't all about money, it's values, attitudes, etc.

It is possible to move class and that most often happens with WC becoming MC by education, particularly going to university, and by professional qualifications. It is also often the next generation of those people who will actually change class.
There are tiers of the middle class, lower middle class is nearer to traditional working class, upper middle class are more like the types that the OP refers to where boarding school, skiing in certain areas, holiday homes in France, large home with several acres of land are the norm. Catherine Princess of Wales, who is now royal, was not upper class before she married Prince William, she was upper middle class.
If course all these are generalisations, but upper class is definitely aristocracy only.

Boarding school is definitely the preserve of the UMC- the aristos can’t afford it anymore. Joking, but boarding schools aren’t necessarily the “poshest” schools and there are also plenty of aristos who don’t go to boarding school.

The UMC are basically defined by wealth in a way the UC aren’t. You can be poor and UC. You can’t be poor and UMC. You can be born WC and become UMC. You can’t become UC- you are or you aren’t.

Personally I think this is a load of horseshit I know how it feels to be out of place I had my first child at 15 try waiting for your reception age child to come out of school next to people twice your age (and looking even younger than I was) awkward is an understatement.

However I'm middle class and can have a conversation with a homeless man and the local duke. Most people don't give AF it's your own paranoia that brings you down

Work on cultivating a laugh like it's the funniest thing you've ever heard in your life and then say 'Oh, thanks for that, I needed a good laugh!'

Note the OP hasn’t been back to tell us where this unicorn workplace is where all the other employees have been drawn from less than 1% of the population.

I do see what you mean. I’m the same in that I can get along with most people irrespective of their background or social status, and I have a mix of friends. I can imagine that was really difficult for you at 15, dealing with all the judgement - you’ve obviously done really well for yourself! Some work places can be quite snobby and toxic and it’s harder to not be affected by it. I’ve also had the opposite experience - where I was deemed to be ‘posh’ because I was not from the local area and did not have the accent - that was not fun either!

This. I'd be fascinated to understand where this workplace is. Most people I work with go skiing, not a single person walks up to a stranger and demands to know their skiing history.

This happened a lot when I started work. Hasnt happened in 20+ years now. Just be honest, be matter of fact and move on.

It is the loaded judgement questioning I would find tedious and pretentious

There is only one reason that boring people ask these types of questions when they first meet someone :-
'What school did you go to' or 'What do you do?' for example.

The reason these types of questions are asked is simply to judge people.
To know where you stand in terms of social hierachy.
How much respect should they afford you based on your school or job
It is tedius

If anyone asks me about my career when i first meet them, I try to edge away and always give a ludicrous answer. I am a lion tamer, a pole dancer, an astronaught, I have an only fans account etc etc

There are far more interesting things to be learned about people if you ask them what they do in their free time / do for fun / what their favourite song / movie/ album, anything is

So many more interesting conversations to be had

OP just be yourself . You don't have to explain yourself . You got to where you are due to your brains not your bank balance . If your colleagues think less of you then that's on them not you . I wouldn't discuss my background or past . It's no one's business anyway . You're there to work .

I find that the worse types for being snobby and checking people out are those who are from rather humble beginnings who have at some point, reinvented themselves as middle class types. I'm working class and comfortable with my roots. Over the years I seem to have triggered certain people by just being myself. I serve as a reminder who they actually are and they hate that.

Also, don't get me started on people who move to London and suddenly drop their regional accent. What is that all about? Be proud of your roots!

I personally think things have improved over the years, as being seen to have come from privilege is a bit embarrassing and something to be ashamed of. I don't necessarily agree with this myself, but that is my perception of what I observe. Being working class or being perceived as such, is almost fetishised now.

I am ND so that might be part of it but the other day I met a fellow mum at a kids birthday party.
I didn't have a clue how to continue the conversation because I don't want to talk about fucking kids all the time.
So I asked her what she did and we both work in ajoining sectors, I was so happy, we could gossip about the work culture etc and it felt like we genuinely had some common ground, because although we are both mothers that's of no interest to me.

Back to the op, go find somewhere else to work where you feel happy. Doesn't matter why you feel unhappy there, you can't change them but you can work elsewhere

Sounds more claustrophobic than classist. Why are people nosing about asking these sorts of questions? I work in a global org with colleagues from across the world - any questions about our background tends towards fostering understanding and building cohesiveness in the team. I don't think this is a class issue as it is a weird work culture issue. Just change jobs, not careers!