Dealing with teachers who are (imho) bullying children

[derivativation]

DC is year 8. The school was mostly amazing last year but unfortunately we have had a head change head and several new teachers, with several really good teachers leaving.

Several of the new teachers get too critical with the children, saying they are not very clever, that they have no thoughts, their mind is a void, boys are not as good as girls etc. DC is well behaved and so not affected until last week. DC has however stood up for one of the children who was being called stupid by making a light hearted comment. DC was really upset that children were being called stupid and we had decided to try to move school by that point, though it will take a bit of time to organise because of practicalities. But now it has got worse. Last week and today two teachers in classes where DC has done well and the teacher has sung DC's praises (DC does all required homework, does not disrupt classes, puts hand up to speak) talked to DC as though DC had done something very bad and that he deserved to be treated really badly. DC very upset. I strongly suspect that the teachers are intentionally trying to take DC down a peg or two because someone has said they are too much of a smarty pants. DC is quiet and can come across as quietly confident, but DC is not confident at all deep down.

The new head is a chocolate teapot who has brought in a series of changes to rules which appear to be designed to humilate and shame children.

Any brilliant ways of dealing with this while DC has to attend? If I try to talk to the teachers they will think that I am trying to tell them what to do and it will make things worse for DC. If I tell them that DC is in fact not confident and is in some ways quite vulnerable, they will pick on him. I am not joking unfortunately.

I wish I could home school but to set that up would take just as long as finding a better school.

You weren't there op

The op has clearly said their behaviour is consistent. It sounds like new teachers not using appropriate language at the very least. I wouldn't tolerate a peer or professional using stupid as a description.

As teachers I would expect better.

Normally, I am all for working with the school to understand the issues, and come to an agreement on the way forward, however... by the time you have collated the recent examples, set up meetings with head of year/school leader to ask for their perspective on the incidents, understood the facts of these incidents etc, and then agreed what should have happened/what will happen next time, it'll be Christmas. You've obviously lost faith in the school, so not sure that any discussions with them would be productive anyway.

If you are likely to get your DC into a new school in January, then honestly, I'd tell them to keep their head down and ride it out for the last few weeks of term.

Actually it is the other way round, this is why so many people feel they need to homeschool.

Thank you. I am really shocked at some of the posts here.

You need to speak to the teacher and find out what actually happened. Because from what you've heard, the teacher was a bully. But from what you've written, the other child was unruly, your child interrupted/spoke out of turn/answered back, and the teacher disciplined them because that doesn't meet expectations.

Do you really believe more people feel the need to homeschool than teachers feel the need for parents to actually discipline their kids?

You haven't confirmed how you know all this op ??

You keep saying that. How is that relevant?

There is no court determining who is right or who is wrong. I have a dc who needs help and I am giving them help. Other posters saying "oh but you don't know" or "oh your dc shouldn't need help they should just be able to be resilient" or "oh parents are so mean and teachers are so great and this is why teachers don't want to teach" are missing the point. I am not marching in there causing trouble. I am asking if anyone wise and sensible has some strategies which will work to help dc feel more comfortable without me making waves which will make things worse.

I give up for today actually. Will check back tomorrow.

Thank you to posters who have tried to help.

If I have a well behaved child who does well and does not get into trouble, what on earth makes you think there is no discipline?

Your child did get into trouble. For being badly behaved and rude towards a teacher.

Of course it's relevant because you don't actually know exactly what was said, you're just believing whatever your child is saying.

The school sounds toxic. If you have an exit plan for your child then I’d just be telling him to keep his head down until he’s out of the door, sadly.

Too many aspects of this story don’t stack up for me.

Not one but “several” teachers are calling DC stupid and making generally rude comments. Multiple teachers gossiping about “smarty pants” DC and wanting to take them down a peg. A number of teachers now suddenly taking against a good DC following said gossip. A headteacher deliberately aiming to “humiliate and shame” children.

I have had DC in the school system for many decades and have never heard of any of the above happening. Teachers have a difficult enough job as it is without conspiring to bully or humiliate DC. Whose interest would it serve to do so?

I suspect there is a strong case of Chinese whispers here and that the school won’t be devastated to see you and your DC go.

I do know that some teachers are bullies and some heads are chocolate teapots but without real detail it’s difficult to make up our mind

You have misunderstood what I said. DC did not get into trouble when they stood up for the other child. It is two other teachers who are now behaving strangely. Not the teacher who called a child stupid.

"Teachers who are bullying children" thread title.

Definition of bullying-the act of intimidating, coercing or harming someone intentionally (and continuing to do so even when asked to stop.)

Don't you realise what a serious allegation this is? That your child's teachers are bullying children?
What is it that they are doing to intentionally harm and repeatedly do so even when asked to stop?
Cant find any answers in your post tbh. Didn't stop you using that headline for a thread title though. Cheap shot.

Stop complaining about schools.

I think that is what we need to do. Thank you.

Apart from anything else I want a good reference from this school for the new school.

I'm also struggling to see how a whole bunch of horrible new teachers all turned up together.

The school can't be very good if so many good teachers have left, regardless of what the new ones are like.

At best you aren't over the old ones leaving and you're taking it out on the new ones.

Wow what a crazy concept; your child coming to you with a problem, feeling secure enough to tell you and you actually believe them...so disappointing to read some people's views on how children deserve to be treated and spoken too at school. I wonder if any of the PPs who are defending these teachers behaviour, would tolerate their managers speaking to them that way.

@Loopylou7219 No, just nearly 3 decades of teaching experience

Unsurprising, your views sound about 30 years out of date

I agree and what makes it worse is that most of these posts appear to be from teachers. Who have not taken the time to read what I wrote properly

It is really depressing.

I can believe this. I had a french teacher who told me I would never get a job or do well because of my handwriting. (I’m left handed) she really upset me but denied it after i’d told the pastoral care at school. I was 12.

that was 20 years ago and it still pisses me off. Screw her though- a few months later my work was being used as examples of teaching and I scored highest in gcses. I’ve also had a job since I turned 15.

some people think teachers are infallible but they are just people. Intimidating pupils is not preparing them for work it’s preparing them to be afraid.

I could see this being the case in the past, but now, I think these skills are pretty obsolete.

Things like time management, financial literacy, personal and career development and social aptitude are far more important in today's workplace and life in general. Many of these involve being disciplined but in ways that are relevant to the world today.