Dealing with teachers who are (imho) bullying children

[derivativation]

DC is year 8. The school was mostly amazing last year but unfortunately we have had a head change head and several new teachers, with several really good teachers leaving.

Several of the new teachers get too critical with the children, saying they are not very clever, that they have no thoughts, their mind is a void, boys are not as good as girls etc. DC is well behaved and so not affected until last week. DC has however stood up for one of the children who was being called stupid by making a light hearted comment. DC was really upset that children were being called stupid and we had decided to try to move school by that point, though it will take a bit of time to organise because of practicalities. But now it has got worse. Last week and today two teachers in classes where DC has done well and the teacher has sung DC's praises (DC does all required homework, does not disrupt classes, puts hand up to speak) talked to DC as though DC had done something very bad and that he deserved to be treated really badly. DC very upset. I strongly suspect that the teachers are intentionally trying to take DC down a peg or two because someone has said they are too much of a smarty pants. DC is quiet and can come across as quietly confident, but DC is not confident at all deep down.

The new head is a chocolate teapot who has brought in a series of changes to rules which appear to be designed to humilate and shame children.

Any brilliant ways of dealing with this while DC has to attend? If I try to talk to the teachers they will think that I am trying to tell them what to do and it will make things worse for DC. If I tell them that DC is in fact not confident and is in some ways quite vulnerable, they will pick on him. I am not joking unfortunately.

I wish I could home school but to set that up would take just as long as finding a better school.

@SurelyNotAnother

There’s absolutely no need for you to correct anything I’ve written, thanks. Just because you don’t like it, it doesn’t make it untrue.

I love my students dearly. Teaching is my vocation because I love young people and helping them on their journey to adulthood. I am a supportive, caring teacher who works hard to build a strong rapport with my kids and works my socks off to provide them with the best education I can. I do a huge amount of extracurricular activities above and beyond what I am paid for to ensure that my students have plenty of opportunities to engage in my subject area and develop their creative talents. I always defend my students and advocate for them. I’m the first one wading in during meetings if I feel something has been unjust towards students by a teacher, and I frequently stand up for my students when their parents have totally unrealistic and unhelpful expectations of them. There are many teachers like me in the profession. It’s a hard and time consuming job that’s not particularly well paid considering the hours we have to put in, so there’s not a massive incentive to do it unless you genuinely like kids. I genuinely have never met a colleague who took pleasure in being horrible to children. I’ve met colleagues who have been going through challenging personal circumstances who have lost their rag and probably should have taken some time off, but people genuinely setting out on going into the job to bully and be mean to kids? No. I’m sorry but the job doesn’t provide enough perks to make someone bother to do that.

My love for my students does not mean I am not blind to the reality that some children can be nasty, manipulative and vindictive. Spend some time in a school and you’ll see the absolutely horrific nastiness kids can mete out to their peers. I’ve seen texts between students this week that were so nasty I felt sick reading them (I’m a pastoral leader). Do you really expect teachers not to acknowledge this reality? And please - the amount of people who claim they would never speak about their patients or clients the way teachers talk about some pupils - do me a favour. You’ve never once moaned to a colleague after a tough shift about a patient? Of course you have. Get off your high horse!!

Interesting that it’s unimaginable to you that a professional doesn’t bitch about their patients. Says it all really.

It’s not really unimaginable though. Everyone does it about their job, no matter what that job is and those who claim to
never do it are liars.

@SurelyNotAnother
‘I have certainly met more manipulative, bullying teachers in my time than I have children fitting that description’

Again this statement is ridiculous! In the 20 years You may have had bullying teachers when you were at school but you’ve completely failed to accept that this would nor be allowed to happen with the constant scrutiny that exists now. I taught I met less than 10 teachers who were in any way nasty to kids. Teachers go into teaching to make a difference to the students they teach, it’s an extremely stressful and difficult job so nobody would choose to put themselves through that without good intentions.
The number of children who were rude, badly behaved and who lied about teachers and other students is well into the hundreds in comparison. Around 90% of these had the sort of parents who claimed their little darling could do no wrong and was being bullied by the teacher. The behaviour was not addressed as a result so these parents would make the same accusations about another teacher and so on, never acknowledging that just maybe their kid was the issue.
Of course children tell lies to get themselves out of trouble and lack maturity in their actions. That comes from being children and not yet having developed the skills and understanding to do understand the consequences of their actions. Teachers on the other hand are not only professionals but also adults who will be far less likely to lie. To suggest otherwise is completely absurd. I just know from your comments that you’re one of these parents who thinks their kids can do no wrong. I am willing to bet that their teachers and anyone around you would say exactly the same.
As an NHS worker you don’t have the first clue about what it’s like to work in a profession where parents and society as a whole are constantly making derogatory remarks and questioning your abilities. It is very damaging for mental health. Therefore, it’s hardly surprising that teachers are venting here on an anonymous forum.

@SurelyNotAnother

‘I have certainly met more manipulative, bullying teachers in my time than I have children fitting that description’

I wonder what the teacher vs children ratio is that you say that you've met and the context in which you have met them.

Because lets be honest here, a child in pain is hardly going to be going out of their way to do anything wrong.

I am posting to update about what happened here in case it helps anyone in a similar situation in the future. Other than this I am not coming back to the thread.

In relation to the one example I gave here about where DC was being sat in the class I said that my next step would be to talk to the head, not long after I last posted on this thread, and DC was then moved.

Since then I have had a meeting with a teacher about some of the other issues, and what DC said was right, basically, ie the teacher didn't disagree with what DC had said, and some issues have now been dealt with, and others are going to be escalated to the head.

@EnidSpyton @FrippEnos You are quite simply wrong. Wrong thinking, wrong assumptions, wrong attitudes. And parents who advocate for their DC respectfully and appropriately are not "one of those parents".

Sorry the comment in my post above was meant for @EnidSpyton and @Foostit - about being wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

@derivativation You clearly have issues issues issues issues issues issues!

This. 👍

But I don't don't don't and your reaction to my post was very passive aggressive. The laugh button is intended for good humour. Not trouble making.

I got a notification re reaction even though I had hidden thread.

Now I am here, I just want to make it clear that two teachers are bullying children, including DC. It is pretty hellish to be involved, it has been escalated, other children have been questioned and quite honestly there is not much doubt being expressed about the bullying. The teachers have not denied things (amazingly enough - they think telling children they are stupid was absolutely fine and in the case of DC it was apparently perfectly fine to listen to untrue rumours and act as though they were true and all the rest). So to all of the posters who have minimised, misread or who just wanted to pile in and dismember please lay off.

Well done for advocating for your child 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 it takes courage.

@derivativation That will be because the way you’re acting is so ridiculous. Are you seriously banging on about people responding to you on a hidden thread when you’ve actually tagged them in the first place?
If what you’re saying is true (don’t believe that for a second) then the teachers will be struck off then we’ll all be reading about it in the news before long then! I noticed your story has already changed from several teachers to two now. Please don’t tag me again, we are not going to agree on this matter and quite frankly I don’t believe a word of it anyway. It’s just yet another teacher bashing thread contributing to a mass exodus from the profession. I bet you’ll still be moaning when your DC gets to secondary school and there’s an even bigger shortage of teachers to teach them than there is now.

The fact that you are saying "when your dc gets to secondary school..." shows that you have not even read my posts, yet you feel you can post and tell me you don't believe a word. The mass exodus from the profession is not anything remotely to do with concerned parents on MN getting advice from other parents on an anonymous basis.

I ecperinced racisim throughout secondary school from teachers it was normal. It just made me grow thicker skin and work harder to prove all them wrong. BAME are encourged to do sports and stay away from academics and having aspirations. So I did the opposite and studied hard and humilated them on results day. They always told me I am never going to achieve anything but worked in the factory and said I wouod never be liie sos and so white student. I was predicted grades C-F they always marked me low. But with external marking I achieved grades A*- C and went on to University.
Thats just life.