to think it isn't 'attention-seeking' not to drink tea or coffee?

[ruethewhirl]

I've just had this ridiculous accusation levelled at me by an acquaintance (note I didn't say friend). 'But isn't it all just a bit attention-seeking really?' 😬

No. I just don't drink them because I don't like them. Never have. Where's the attention-seeking in that?! I don't even mention it unless it becomes directly relevant i.e. someone offers me a tea or coffee. OK, if I went on about it, or suggested others should follow suit, or got funny when people can't offer me anything to drink/expected hosts to get alternative drinks in for me (not that I've ever been to hers, so maybe she's making assumptions based on other people she's known)... but I don't. I have noticed people sometimes get a bit stressed about this if I'm at their house and they haven't anything else to offer me, but I'm genuinely fine with a glass of water, or a hot chocolate if they have it in, but I'd never expect them to get it specially.

She followed it up with 'Yes, but it's nice to be able to offer your guests a hot drink, isn't it' so maybe she's assuming I don't do that myself when hosting - she's never been to my place - but of course I do! Just because I don't drink something myself doesn't mean I'm not going to make it for other people.

I dunno, I'm not super worked up about it, more curious and mildly irked. It's not the first time people have criticised me for not drinking tea or coffee (I was once called 'childish' over it), and it really baffles me why they would even care. AIBU to think this is just odd and narrow-minded?? 🤔

Sorry to mock, but that did make me chuckle.

It's really not that deep. I just don't like drinking hot liquids. I'm equally trustworthy with a glass of water.

my husband doesn't drink tea or coffee. the only hot drink he will occasionally have a hot chocolate.

I've never considered it attention seeking. any more than I don't drink wine being attention seeking.

I have bin known to say o right erm well what do you drink then wh3n told a person doesn't drink t or coffee

It's one sentence!

I get a similar reaction when I refuse an alcoholic drink 🤣
It’s all “ are you sure ? “ “ it’s only wine 🍷 “ “ oh I will just make you a weak G&T “ then when I insist no , they try to get me a fizzy drink and I don’t drink those either 🤣
I do like certain teas and I do drink coffee though , I don’t really like hot chocolate.

Sorry I can’t trust you..
why..

well you don’t like tea or coffee …

🤣🤣 be glad to loose that friendship tbh

I mean it's super weird and I am not sure we could be friends in the first place.

But not attention seeking.

Joke!

Mind you I am also very weird as I make two cups of tea at a time. One for now. One for my travel mug.

I am Northern Irish. But even I recognise this as weird. 😂

Your 'acquaintance' is the problem. Not you.

Ridiculous. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. Just ignore them.

Your acquaintance is a wrong’un.

This is the funniest thing I've read in so long 🤣🤣 trust issues 🤣🤣

It’s the people who constantly tell you that they don’t drink coffee / eat meat or whatever. No one cares but for God’s sale, please don’t talk about it. Repeatedly.

@ruethewhirl very strange attitude, nothing wrong not liking tea and coffee. My kids 18 and 21 don't drink tea and coffee, not really stuff you give to kids, maybe one day they will drink it, maybe they won't. And you should definitely not feel you should force it down you if visiting someone. Nothing wrong with saying o thank you I don't drink tea and coffee.

Couldn't have said it better myself.What is going on in this thread!

I literally could not care less what anyone's beverage choice is. This is so weird.

Wishingplenty · Today 17:50
"I think that it is a bit anti social and it closes your self off socially. The whole ritual of making a hot drink while chatting is so deeply ingrained, I would find it off putting and strange if someone didn't drink either. I think your conversations would be limiting without that ritual and people would probably hold back on opening up to you because it is likely to create trust issues!"

Hilarious!

"All grown ups should like tea or coffee"
Is that the same as all grown ups should drink wine or beer?
What a stupid thing to say!
Adults (and most children) have preferences that are entirely their own business
Anyone saying people should or should not 'like' something are control freaks and hopefully will keep out of my life

EDIT: Sorry, this was aimed at the original Twurp not the person I quoted

Well I don't like tea, coffee, milk or water

You're definitely not attention-seeking, but your acquaintance is!

What a nasty thing to say, I wouldn't call her a friend. What does she want you to do, drink something you don't like? I wouldn't let her bother you, she is being totally unreasonable and there was no need for her to even mention it.

😂 Maybe it's just Irish Mumsnet but, over the years, I've gained a clear impression that lots of Irish people have very definite ideas of How Things Are Done and get quite upset if anyone tries to deviate from it! Are you in Ireland, @ruethewhirl?

Btw, I've had a few guests who ask for hot water. Struck me as sensible, they have the obligatory hot drink without the unwanted additives.

It pulls focus, it’s energy stealing. It’s depressing. Just say no im ok thanks, not I don’t like them. No maybe you don’t but I don’t need to know what you don’t like, I’d prefer if you said have you got a rum and coke instead, that would spike my interest. Never focus on negatives, it’s dull Derek dull!

Are you always such a drama llama, saying you don’t like something is helpful in that type of context as you know not to keep offering it to someone. It’s not depressing or energy stealing to say one sentence that informs the other person

I've only met 2 people who don't drink tea or coffee. It's unusual but I certainly wouldn't have a problem with it. No one could make me drink mint tea just to be polite as it's gross. I assume that's how you feel about tea and coffee.

It’s possible she (weirdly) sees it as some sort of attack on her for drinking caffeine, like you’re looking down your nose at her. I’ve seen people be like that with non-drinkers and vegetarian/vegans.

I’ve even come across someone who thinks that about people who don’t have sugar in their hot drinks.

I had a colleague (American) who revealed - under close questioning from another (nosy) colleague who demanded to know why she always said no thanks to offers of coffee or tea - that she simply doesn't drink any hot beverages (except possibly an occasional hot choc just after coming in from something like skiing or tobogganing with her children).

Nosy Colleague harassed her for ages afterwards ("Hannah doesn't like hot beverages", he'd proactively advise anyone in earshot, as if it were code for something really suspect and shocking). So perhaps being weird about this is "a thing"!

Could you imagine doing this about anything else though.

Oh no Hannah doesn’t like roast dinner
Bob doesn’t eat kebabs
Kelly doesn’t like chocolate

what weirdos such wronguns can’t trust them so impolite to not just eat those poppadoms.